Surviving a midlife crisis....any help?

JD13 · ‎03-10-2010

Hopefully this is an okay forum to post this.

I guess I'm going through some sort of midlife crisis and having a really hard time dealing. I'll be 53 next month. Not yet meno, still have another 6 months to go, but maybe a lot of this is hormones.

I started realizing that I don't have much time left (in the grand scheme of things) and realize I have never done some things and never will. I'll never save the elephants in Africa, cure cancer, or do anything that seems like it has contributed to society at large (heck I even have a hard time putting things in right recycling bins).

I don't have many friends...I had my kids at an older age (they are 5 and 7) so my potential friend pool is moms who are a lot younger than I am. I still feel young but I'm not.

I am overweight. Have lost 30 lbs recently but have a long ways to go. I broke my ankle pretty severely last summer and now am looking at having to get replacement or fusion because I have traumatic arhritis so I'm limited in my ablity to get out and walk or do a lot of other things.

I don't have wrinkles but have general sagginess that bums me out. I was kind of doing okay with the weight and sagginess stuff until I watched the roayal wedding and for whatever reason that sent me into a total tailspin. I realized I used to be young and beautiful too but now I'm just and old fat saggy faced middle aged lady without much to show for in her life.

I cry at least once a day but lately it's been multiple times a day.

Anyone out there who has gone through something like this? How did you cope? I'm kind of lost. My husband is supportive but he really can't understand (he really didn't understand my complete break down after the royal wedding....LOL).

Any insight or shared stories appreciated....maybe I won't feel so nuts if anyone else has been like this and survived. TIA

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

We're close in age and I struggle with the time left thing, too.

While I had some great accomplishments none had a global impact. My view of living is: I am content with doing the things my creator, not Cosmo Magazine has asked me to do?

Did I go places, do things, make or leave behind those relationships He asked me to? If something needs my attention, surely He will show me.

Of all I've ever done, being a great mom is at the top of the list.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

Sorry you are having a difficult time....I really have no advice except that it sounds like menopause to me....one day when I was in my early 50's I hit every red light going into work....I cried!!! How silly of me, but jokingly mentioned it to my doctor and she ordered a blood test for me and sure enough, menopause.

Talk to your doctor, she/he can help you thru this. I never had much in the way of hot flashes but I did have my summer of discontent when honestly I was a bear to live with...this to shall pass and good luck.

You want to feel the best you can, you have little ones that need their mom.

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

Sweetbay magnolia · ‎04-14-2013

You will become the person you were before life was ruled by reproduction. It will be different, and many of the same concerns still apply, but you will be in charge more than you can believe.

Cogito ergo sum

hayseed00 · ‎11-24-2011

I'm 63 and do from time to time think about how many years I will have left and how fast time seems to be flying. I am post menopausal and still have the occasional sadness and tears. My husband is a great guy but I think men don't understand the whole "My hormones, what few I have left are revolting for no apparent reason today !!!" I guess when looking back on my life I haven't had any fantastic accomplishments, but I do pride myself on being the best person I can be with the life God has given me. Stay strong in these tough times for you. In the words of my Dad which I repeat often when I'm having a life sucks moment, "This too shall pass". Hang strong, you are woman !!!!!

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

JD 13, you’ll feel better eventually. The 50s can be tough, if for no other reason than hormones. There are other issues too...family, work, health, etc. However, after a certain age, many of these problems drop away. We become more tolerant toward ourselves and stop sweating the small stuff. Ironically, the problems of being a senior can be serious but experience helps us know which battles to fight, which friends to keep, and which activities we want to sustain us. Be patient with yourself. It WILL get better.

Newgate · ‎09-05-2014

I have never been through what you are experiencing but why not think of your 2 children as a accomplishment? I am sure they need you a lot right now and will for several more years. It sound like you have a supportive husband also, so that should be a help.

You may just be depressed and probably should tell your doctor about it if you haven't yet.

Not everyone was meant to set the world on fire with accomplishments! I am in my 70's and my great accomplishments I feel are a 55 year marriage and I raised 3 children that I so appreciate!

Don't give up! God bless you!

game-on · ‎03-22-2010

@JD13.....I remember some of what you are talking about. It sounds like you are grieving a loss.... loss of the early part of your life and thinking about the later part. There are many books about grieving... I like one called How to survive the loss of a love..... It also sounds like you have female hormones playing with your body and mind.

The one thing I can tell you is..... this too will pass. Dont do major changes during this transition. Be kind to yourself. (((Hugs)))

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

I would go see a counselor or therapist, I have don this myself and it did help. Also, could you talk to your doctor? I'm concerned about you crying every day. I don't know how you do it, with younger children. Im wondering if you aren't exhausted. I hope you can take some time for yourself. Maybe try doing one thing a day to boost your mood, do something for you. You are worth it!