Among Friends

[Abrowneyegirl]

Hire someone to help him.

It will much less expensive than assisted living.

Make arrangements to hire someone 1 or 2 days a month to help him during outings and appointments.

Then make all his appointments for those days.

As long as you guarantee a minimum monthly 'retainer' to person you hire everyone can be very happy with the arrangement.

The problem is when you expect to get people willy nilly to be available to help you out.  When you have a 'strong assistant' on retainer it will give you options and flexibility.

[Ms X]

Does the hospital have a social worker on staff who could assist?  Maybe he could visit an assisted-living facility on a day when they have some kind of lunch or gathering of all the residents.  If he visited for a while, he might be able to gauge whether he'd feel comfortable there.

[Stray]

Every state, county and town is different but contact the dept of aging in your State or County.  Also, in your town in the municipal center, you may have a health department and usually there is a nurse.  She can help you if you have that set up; my husband was recently quite ill and the driver in the family, our town nurse gave me referrals to assist with needs including transportation ....however, I used Uber as I have no impairments.  Uber made it clear that insurance does not cover their drivers assisting passengers.  When my husband was discharged, my niece took us home as many Uber cars are SUVs and he could not step up and as said, drivers are not supposed to assist. 

[chrystaltree]

If he won't go into assisted living, hire someone to come in twice a week.  That person can clean the house, go grocery shopping for him and accompany him to his doctors appointments.  It will be up to him to make his appointments on days when his helper works.  Which shouldn't be difficult.   A great many elderly people do this whether they have family and friends or not.  Most don't want be a burden to family and friends.  They like their independance.  Uber and Lyft are another option although, I don't think you get to choose your driver when you use those car services and many of the drivers drive Suv's which probably will not work for your father with his mobility issues.  

[Azcowgirl]

You said your area is very small so you may not have a visiting angels senior home care service near enough to you. They were wonderful in my Dads situation. They would pick him up and take him to appointments and grocery shopping, help him with meal prep, and they customize the level of assistance according to the need of each individual. They were lifesavers in our situation as I lived several states away from my Dad . Best of luck to you in finding a good set up for your Dad.

[henderson]

When my mom who was 96 at the time was hospitalized for a serious illness, my sister hired a home health care aide who would even prepare meals, clean out her refrigerator, and do some light housework, also drove her to the dr.  There is a minimum number of hours per day that you must pay. 

[151949]

It sounds like time for him to go to assisted living.

[homedecor1]

@HouseMouse

Not sure where you live but just recently I had to contact a organization called "visiting Angels" for a 96 elderly stubborn gentlemen who I "confronted" because I saw him driving on the wrong side of the street onto the sidewalk. Let's just say there is "nothing" pleasant about him & I didn't want to get involved, but, he shared he has to drive no one to take him😳

I would do a search for home health aide (or your hospital affiliation).   I know it's $20/hr with a minimum of 3 hours but for peace of mind maybe worth it.

[Moonchilde]

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@Mom2Dogs wrote:

@HouseMouse....this is a difficult situation.....I do not see an uber driver doing anything but driving him to his appointments, not with assisting him inside the office, which is what it sounds like he really needs...

all I can think of is a home health person that is only hired to help to and from appointments, they would assist him with the walk to the office and back.

Possibly you could also go along to his appointments but the health aide would do the 'work'.

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Uber drivers do nothing but pick up and drop off. They will not come to your door or take you up steps. I used uber once after an outpatient surgical procedure.

I also used a local service that specialized in giving seniors rides to wherever they wanted to go. But they too would do nothing more than drive, and cost more than double what Uber charged.

Since the OP lives in a small town, my only suggestion is to hire a home help person with good driving record and good insurance at an hourly wage for the comings and goings, who could get him to/from the car, bring in some groceries, take him to a McDonald's, the park, etc.

If he qualifies for any type of Medicaid, or would qualify if applied for, this is often paid for.

[libbyannE]

Have you considered hiring a service designed to keep the elderly in their own homes? We did that for my father and stepmother. We started with a few hours here and there. Little by little, we keep adding more hours because we know that they get better, more personal care thus way than they would in even the best nursing home. I order groceries and deli meals to be delivered to them, and we fill in with meals on wheels.