Among Friends

[suzyQ3]

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@Roscoe the Rascal wrote:

Today I took my one brother, who is in memory care, to my other brother's home and had a nice visit and sat outside the whole time.  If was nice and we talked about the past, the present and just had a  great time.  I had a bunch of pictures that another brother gave me to give to the other one.  We looked at those and laughed and the memories started flowing.

I like to talk about the past, but not the only thing we talk about.  Don't wait until those people in your life are gone and wished you had talked more about things from before.   Sure some will be bored,  but not today,  because the memories were what we all related to.  We talk about all kinds of  things and not just the past.

 I have often said I wished I would have asked more about certain things or listened better.  I guess that comes with age.

My brother has dementia and Parkinson's.  His short term memory is short and loses his thoughts fast, but he still remembers things and has that great sense of humor.  When I take him places he perks up.  He mostly wishes he could come and go again like he use to.  

Today was a good day.  One I will remember and bore someone with someday.

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A beautiful post, @Roscoe the Rascal, Love the last line!

[hckynut]

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@Mary Bailey wrote:

I know I talk about DH way too much.  I'm boring as H#LL  I try not to do it but I have nothing else.  He usually stays home. I mostly go places alone. 

@Mary Bailey 

If DH "usually stays home", what's too much to talk about concerning him? Guessing it must be things in his past if he is a usually stay-at-home! And who in told you that you were boring as he!!?

hckynut 

hckynut 

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[KBEANS]

@Roscoe the Rascal 

Sweet and simple! I loved your post. I kinda felt like I was there! 🥰 

[ECBG]

Yes, I have been exposed to those conversations.

1.  Let sleeping dogs lay.

2.  Stay in the present.

3.  Share interesting history, it is priceless.

4.  If you have hurt, time to move into positive light.

5.  If you have said it before, Hey!  We have a memory.  Turn the page!

[Lucky Charm]

I love talking about the past!

We were just talking to neighbors about the night we met and how my husband was my date for my senior prom.  They couldn't get enough of the stories.  Maybe it was the beer....lol!

So many funny stories, so many happy memories.  We still talk about our wedding day (not the honeymoon...ahem....) with people who were there.  It was a crazy time and everyone had a BLAST.  

I wish I could still talk to my most beloved relatives about things that occurred during the beginning of the last century.  That won't happen, though, sadly.

And my parents still have some intriguing stories that we've never heard.  They are a crazy love story themselves.  I saw a *slide* show not too long ago of my mother dressed for Halloween in a black dress looking something along the lines of Dita Von Teese.  In the 50's.  Explain that one to me Loretta!

[vsm]

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@Xivambala wrote:

I am in my 60's and I do not. I leave the past where it belongs, in the past and prefer to live in the moment. My mother who is in her 80's does this all the time. She frequently asks if remember this, that and something else. Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't. It becomes a boring conversation. I would never tell her how annoying this is as she won't be here forever. She is a wealth of family history and I have asked her several times to document this for me (only child here). I hope she follows through. I think we get along better when we concentrate on the here and now.

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@XivambalaGiven your mother's age, it might be too much for her to document the family history in an organized way.  How about coming up with some questions that you're especially interested in, and then recording her answers?  This might be a wonderful gift to her -- one that you, as her only child, can give --  and something you'll treasure when she's gone. Some members of my family have done this with happy results for all concerned.

[Tessa Mendoza]

I think this happens with older people a lot.  Maybe not much is happening in their lives these days and they tend to live in the past and glorify it.  Somehow they remember things from even the distant past more clearly than what happened last week.

I experience this with some family members and just smile and nod.  Just glad they are still with us and happy in their memories, to tell you the truth.  Doesn't really bother me and I enjoy many of the old stories.

Glory Days - Hope I don't sit around talking about them - oh, but I probably will.  

Bruce Springsteen thinks so, too.

[Xivambala]

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@hckynut wrote:

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@Xivambala wrote:

I am in my 60's and I do not. I leave the past where it belongs, in the past and prefer to live in the moment. My mother who is in her 80's does this all the time. She frequently asks if remember this, that and something else. Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't. It becomes a boring conversation. I would never tell her how annoying this is as she won't be here forever.

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"She is a wealth of family history and I have asked her several times to document this for me (only child here). I hope she follows through".

@Xivambala 

Have you offered to help your mother document her history?  My wife did that with her mother, who died at 91 five years ago. Her mother started with where she was born and followed through with as many things as she remembered.

She named it "Her Name History". I took it off the computer and saved it on a Thumb Drive and a DVD. My wife just read it this week because her mother died on the 13th, 1 month before her 92nd birthday. Something to think about  

I too am in my 80's and most people I chat with, including family, don't consider me boring. They mostly talk right along with me, I guess that's a sign, no?

hckynut(john)

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It has been discussed, but I need to "walk on egg shells" with my mother. Once when I asked about my Grandmother's Irish ancestors (hers too!) she pushed me off on one of my aunts. My mother worked in the computer business and was a systems analyst at the time of her retirement, so she is very computer savvy. She needs no help from me there. I do believe she has been writing something though.

We have documented history of my Grandfather's family back to the 1700's from Denmark to their coming to America through Castle Garden (pre Ellis Island) and settling in various states in the US. An aunt spent time with my Grandmother before she passed to document her recollections of childhood and marriage to my Grandfather.  I know a lot about my grandparents because we lived with them a good portion of the time when I was a child and they raised my as one of their own. I don't think anyone in our large extended family has yet documented the history of my grandparents family and offspring. Everything is word of mouth. I know very little of my father and his family because my parents divorced when I was an infant. I unfortunately live 1400 miles from my mother, but am planning to see her in Chicago later this fall. I may broach the subject if she is receptive. 

[MoJoV]

@Tessa Mendoza   Exactly what I was thinking: Glory Days. It's kinda sad when people start talking about their High School and College accomplishments.  But I never mind hearing the reminicances of older people.  Just not the school days stuff.

[roeroe1005]

@vsm,

I agree with you.  I regret that I did not write/type the stories our parents & aunts told us about their growing up in Italy.  I have one aunt remaining, 95 years old, who is the youngest of my mom and her siblings.  We still pick her brain.  

Keep passing your stories down!  Your kids may be bored now, but all at once a light will go off in their heads.