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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,530
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight

Outfit is nice. I'm sorry your MIL is a bully like that. If it were me I would ask her if anything nice ever came out of her mouth? 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,728
Registered: ‎07-03-2014

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight

i'm so sorry you have to have such a toxic person in your life. i'm glad you realize there's nothing you can do to impress her, so just dress in something first and foremost comfortable, and second, one that you feel confident in. then you can deal with whatever comes out of her unkind mouth. the next time she says something horrible to you, throw back a sincere compliment on how good she always looks. you admit that she does look good anyway, so douse her insult with a kind word. see how that works. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,324
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight

@Bunsnoop  I like your choices, especially the green for the dinner.  Go with that smile and your confidence and please do not lower yourself to her level.  It won't change her.  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,192
Registered: ‎05-22-2010

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight

@freakygirl  - yes - kill them with kindness!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,728
Registered: ‎07-03-2014

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight


@Bunsnoop wrote:

@freakygirl  - yes - kill them with kindness!


@Bunsnoop @some snarky people are unhappy or insecure, so they take it out on others. if you can counterattack with being nice, it's not to make her feel better. it's a win for you. good luck and i hope you'll end up enjoying the day. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,719
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight

@BunsnoopThe outfit is great, so don't let her get into your head. Now as for how to handle her I would go, and the first negative comment she makes I would say I didn't ask for your opinion, or advise, and I know right where you are if I want it.

 

I f she persists I would say if you continue with negative remarks we are leaving. Then leave, and keep doing that, because once she realizes you mean what you say she will stop, or she will be alone. Your husband should do the same. Do not allow anyone to talk to you like that.

 

There is no reason to argue or fight,

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,010
Registered: ‎08-29-2010

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight

bunsnoop said, in part:  "I just don't want this to escalate into a fight, and try to just remember to "consider the source - and that she's the "ugly" one!

. . . I need to try to boost my confidence"

 

 

@Bunsnoop   Of all the suggestions offered you in this thread, your own are the best advice.  

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,192
Registered: ‎05-22-2010

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight

I told you I could go on and on about her......here's another good one!

 

We were are a family restaurant and the first time ever she ordered a hamburger.  She was mumbling that she wanted mustard.  When the waitress came back to the table, my father-in-law asked the waitress for the mustard.  Well, it was busy, and the waitress forgot. 

 

The step-mother-in law got so angry she threw the hamburger on the floor!!!    The waitress came back later realizing she forgot the mustard and the step-mother-in-law said no need - don't want it any more.  The waitress saw the hamburger on the floor and said she was so sorry, offered to bring a new hamburger, etc.  Step-mother-in-law said "don't bother".   We all tried telling the waitress that it's okay, no need to be sorry, etc. but you could tell she was upset. My father-in-law did get up later and talked to the waitress on the side.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,892
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight

@Bunsnoop Your outfit is great. As to the old bat, knowing me I would call her out on her nasty remarks.

 

No way would I stand for this over and over and over.

 

And that tanned skin is not a good thing. 

 

Put your foot down. No one can mistreat you without your permission.

 

And you might be surprised at her reaction but if she gets mad -- tough noogies and yes I did have to do this with my own mother a few times. She finally learned her lesson and stopped.

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,715
Registered: ‎01-18-2012

Re: Spent An Hour Trying to Find an Outfit for Tonight

I had a MIL who was not very nice but I made sure to be happy, smiling,  and enjoying myself always in her presence - even though hurtful looks, words coming forth..

 

My theory was never let her know she upset me as then she had won.   Your outfit looks great go out, enjoy yourself and don't let her deflate you, not worth it!