Among Friends

[BunSnoop]

@Love my grandkids , a husband of one of her friends told her to her face that she was a "Rich B---h".   (The word I did not spell out rhymes with witch).

She told us and she acted so shocked that someone would call her that.  She never spoke to her friend or the friend's husband again!

[Flyer98]

Oh, yes.  It sounds like my mother.  She moved across the country so I don't see her now to have my appearance insulted, so she insults my conversation style when we talk on the phone.

When your MIL insults someone's looks, you might say, thank goodness beauty comes from within.  

Good luck and I like your outfit choice.

[Bri369]

Your outfit is very nice.  

She seems very needy and toxic.  People like that get cut out of my life.  I don't have the desire to be around those kinds of people 

[haddon9]

I'm sorry you have to deal with such a mean spirited and hurtful person. 

It seems like she has some serious issues...who goes around talking to someone like that!!!  Why does she think she has the right to do so?  ...If you allow her to continue she will.

  You can choose to ignore the comments and pretend like you didn't hear, or just tell her that she is not being "helpful" but instead hurtful and you choose not to hear her criticisms.  It's been a year since you have seen her....start with a new beginning and ****** any negatives right then & there!

Good luck!

[KLm]

@BunSnoop  I agree your choice of outfit looks great.

I'm sorry also you have to deal with someone like her. Can you imagine having to BE her? Oh my....

My SIL is not ugly like that, but she is always right. I learned long ago to say: you're right. I just say it. Seems to diffuse the situation since she already agrees with me. Then I do or say what I want.

We have to engage with cruel people sometimes when we can't shove them out of our lives.

[elated]

I would not tolerate her insults. The next time she opens her mouth and makes her nasty comments, I would tell her that she has an ugly mouth and makes hurtful remarks that will no longer be tolerated.  If she wants to continue seeing you this needs to stop immediately. She is a bully and this has been going on to long with everyone allowing her rudeness. I think this may help with your self confidence. You are no doormat.

[Boomernichols]

@BunSnoop Remember that beauty is only skin deep and fades fast in the soul of a miserable person who puts others down.  Try to enjoy yourself and know that God is the only one who can truly judge you!

[LTT1]

@BunSnoop 

Go, have fun, and be yourself. Having been in a situation similar to yours, and my advice is to be firm about your boundaries if crossed. After all, if you state something you feel, how can that be taken as wrong?

So, if you get a disrespectful retort, you might say "I didn't mean it that way." Or something similar.

''It will probably be uncomfortable, but if you feel nice in what you are wearing, you might just be able to put a pleasant look on your face and make it through the visit!

Good luck!

[Sooner]

@BunSnoop I love your cute outfit and wear it with confidence.  It shows class on your part not to snipe at her and let it go.

I admire you for making the effort.  It shows who is the better person.  It would no good to confront her, and in reality might be just what she is looking for--so take it with a grain of salt and good for you!  

[IamMrsG]

I suspect everyone who knows this woman is well aware of her bad behavior and tendency to bully.  Has there been discussion among the family that, at the age of “late 80s,” she could have serious mental health issues?

Coming ‘back at’ an elderly and unhappy woman serves nothing and no one.  Why revel in being able to stoop so low?