Among Friends

[iwrite]

@texassunflower 

first, i want to say that i am sorry to hear about your mom. i do understand because i quit to take care of my mom also.

personally, i think it's great that your friends still work full time. that will keep them out of your hair <smile>.

i don't think it's never too late to start living your best life. what makes you happy?

i don't have enough time, please send some my way. i honestly never thought about what i would do next. my mother use to tell me, that i didn't have enough money to do not something, and that i better figure it out, then in the next sentence, she would tell me something else that she wanted me to buy her - LOL

i'd ask her how she knew that i didn't have enough money and she would say, "i know how much you're spending to take care of me".

as you are in a profession that isn't going to become extinct any time soon, what are the new trends? you don't have to answer that out loud, just something to think about in terms of doing something different in the same field.

for years, i taught college level courses online. and as if my user name doesn't clearly state one thing that i do, it is something that you can do also.

you could look into seeing what the market is looking for, in terms of text books for students. and you could write books in the areas that you sub in. yes, i know that many schools now use ebooks, but an ebook is still a book, that someone has to write.

there are several online web sites that you can create courses for and teach them. you own whatever you create. unless things have changed, you can set the price of the course. when i looked into it years ago, i thought it was a good idea and way to generate additional income, without having to wear shoes, but things got hectic and i had to let it go.

a year isn't that long. take time to ponder several possibilities of things that interest you. i am no expert, but i don't think it's the living alone that is boring you. i think that you are still missing your mom something terrible, which is totally understandable. it's been several years and i am no where near the person i once was. every so often, i catch myself doing something for my mom, even though she's no longer here. but i can't let it hold me back. i make the best of each day.

not right now, but after hurricane season, would you take a cruise? yes, you would go alone, but once on the ship, you can mingle and meet new people. i would say join a travel club, but back in the day when i looked into that, i discovered that their prices were much higher, then if i booked the same trip (airline, hotel, etc etc) on my own. who knows, maybe travel clubs have come down in price.

write down all of the retirement plans that you had. then figure out which ones you still want and then work towards making 1 or 2 of them a reality. often, i find writing things down, lets me come up with other things that i had never thought about. hopefully, that will happen for you also.

[Catch71]

Check with your town to see if they offer classes for seniors.  Mine does and I was never one to go to a gym, but our senior center has exercise classes like low impact strengthening classes, cardio dance (to the oldies), yoga (chair and mat), etc.  I never had time to do those things when i worked but have enjoyed them in retirement.  Also, I did get a puppy and he opened up a whole new world.  I meet people walking him I would have never met, and it gets me outdoors more.  Perhaps you could volunteer at your local elementary school (kids are fun, even when its just for an hour).  Good luck.  I find the winter months tougher (Jan. Feb. March) when I feel stuck indoors.  In the summer I joined a neighboring town pool where it is very inexpensive for a single senior.  

[Tinkrbl44]

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

I am married, 40 years, and we are CHILD FREE. I do not like the term Child Less...it sounds so negative....the stigma society still puts on women for choosing not to have children.  

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@SeaMaiden 

ITA ... thanks for making that point.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@texassunflower wrote:

I am single, never married and have no children. I took early retirement to care for a sick parent. My mom passed away a year ago. I have returned to work part-time only due to a lousy back. I can't sit or stand any Ionger for lengthy periods. I sub half days three days a week. I have had a hard time adjusting to living alone again. Most of my friends still work full-time and are busy with family on the weekends. I have alot of spare time during the week and I am curious what others do to pass the time. I never dreamed in retirement that I would be anxious and bored. Like many others, I looked forward to retirement and had numerous plans. 

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@texassunflower 

A good mental exercise for you would be to consider:   what would you do if you knew you were going to live to be 100 years old?    More and more people are doing so, what with all the advances being made in medical science.

Think about it .... if you are currently 65, then you can plan for another 35 years.  It's time for you to be more resourceful, and not just look for ways to "pass the time". 

Thirty five years is a lot of time to just fritter away .....  this is a whole new phase of life and one that should be spent wisely.  Do you ever write in a journal?   Why not try that and see what you come up with?  

Another suggestion ...  google "inspirational retirement stories" and see what comes up for ideas to consider.

[jeanlake]

Are you willing to move or make a location change? There are many active retirement centers with so many social outlets. There are even smaller patio homes or condos to purchase. I know single and coupled people who truly enjoy their active lifetyles.

Consider there is good and bad in every chosen lifestyle. I'm working part time - post retirement. My son is a single dad to a 1 year old boy. Mom has addiction problem. Hasn't been an enjoyable year for family, but in some ways we're fortunate and blessed. help out a lot and today I'm just tired. Really tired. An active retirement community sounds fabulous.

But we do what we need to do. Sometimes in life we just have to 'change the game' to find contentment. Be open. Explore. Dream Big.    

[Shanus]

@texassunflower   

I look at this the opposite way. I’ve always worked from home...a painter, jewelry designer, makeup artist...I can make my own hours and since DH is still working full time, I’m alone a lot. Art is a solitary profession.

Early on, I taught myself to be comfortable alone. Enjoy my own company and not feel the constant need to be out among others. I enjoy reading, running, TV movies, yoga at home, etc. When I’m out, I go to the gym, grocery store, get my errands done and look forward to being home and with my thoughts. 

For some reason, there’s a stigma about being alone. I try to embrace it, enjoy it and don’t feel badly if a few days or weeks go by and I have nothing to do. To me, that’s a dream come true.

[Marienkaefer2]

I think the best way to help yourself is to help others.

I know it sounds cliche, but...can you find a job or a volunteer position that helps others, whether it be people or animals?  

I have volunteered a lot.  My career background is in education, so I've volunteered in elementary, middle, and high schools.

I have always found that no matter what kind of day I'm having or how I'm feeling, the minute I start focusing on someone else, those low thoughts I may be having disappear and I feel happy and engaged.

So my best advice is to think about whatever it is that interests you, and look for an opportunity there, either to work or volunteer.

Sometimes volunteering leads to a job, if that's what you're looking for.  

In the town where I live, the arts are a big deal.  We have different events built around that and there are always opportunities to volunteer. 

This also provides you a pathway to not only feel engaged, but to meet other people.

You have to be patient though.  It doesn't always happen right away.  Be open to trying different opportunities.

Edited to add:  One quick thought:  Having a big family or one with lots of children doesn't always guarantee anything, either.  I have known families where there are big resentments held against one another, people don't talk, when they do get together there are huge fights, and they actually wish they were alone.  

So don't compare your life to others or think that someone else's life may be better because from the outside it looks like they have something wonderful.

[hckynut]

@texassunflower 

You don't mention family. Sisters/brothers/cousins. Do you have any pets? I have no children and I retired at age 52. I also took care of my mother, financially and physically, for the last 8 years of her life. I kept my full time job during those years.

Being a Male might make a little difference, but making friends, outside of work, along with having many hobbies kept me as busy as i chose/choose to be after retiring.  

You didn't say much about your pre-retirement life so i just surmise you didn't have a very active life, including friends outside your workplace. Don't  really understand what you mean by a "lousy back! Have had 2 back surgeries myself, but I never phrased it as my "lousy back".

Really can't say much since much of what you did prior to retiring "early" is not in your post. What I will say is how i live and go by this phrase: "A person is responsible for their own happiness, nobody  else".

Hope your life improves for you. Partially immobile or nor, there are many things out there a person can do if they really want to put in the effort to look.

hckynut(john)

[roeroe1005]

I am also single, never married.  I retired June 2018 because I did not like my new boss and dad's health was beginning to decline at age 96.  Last year I temped at 2 school districts, which I liked.  I made a little extra $$$ and it forced me out of the house.  And I got to meet new people.

I have a sister, married, with 2 grown children.  We shared taking care of dad until his death this past May.  

I understand what you are going thru.  I had joined Meet Up in my local area about a year ago.  That helped with the social aspect - got me out and around people.  Prior to joining, I spent many Saturday nights by myself.

In the past month, I have packed up and moved to Delaware.  I have a cousin here, who is married and still works full time.  Once I'm settled, I hope to find a part time job; I need to meet people on my own.  I've signed up for Meet Up here also, waiting for "approval" from the groups I requested.  

Whether you volunteer or work part time, it helps to get up, out and around people.  I hope there is nothing seriously wrong with your back, my nephew has had 3 operations; I see how painful it can be.

Too bad we do not live closer!

[Tadaki]

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@1Snickers wrote:

  Water  aerobics and tai chi are good for a bad back. My YMCA has  a few warmer lanes and a hospital uses one for therapy.   Even water walking is good. The tai chi is taught there also and it’s slow and shouldn’t hurt your back. 

  I’ve met many friends in these classes and we do lunch or coffee after. 

  A pet would be good but if you get a dog and walk it plan on a small one so it doesn’t hurt you. 

   Enjoy retirement!

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Working on your back is the first thing I thought of also.  One of my colleagues goes to physical therapy for her back.  I notice people at yoga who have issues with different parts of their bodies. If you can do something for your back, that will take up plenty of time.  

When I retire, I was thinking I might help at the humane society.  Not sure working with animals would be good for you with the bad back, but I did read about a woman who knits blankets for shelter cats.  

https://www.babble.com/entertainment/93-year-old-emma-eng-knits-blankets-for-shelter-cats/