Among Friends

[1jenniferjuniper]

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@house_cat wrote:

If I remember correctly, over the years, when my Mom's aunts and relatives were laid to rest they were dressed in very fancy clothes.  I remember seeing my grandmother at the funeral home and thinking I'd never seen her dressed that like when she was alive.  It seemed pretty silly to me, but that's the way it was done.  

My dad passed away in February and Mom gave me his only suit to bring to the mortuary.  They did a nice job, but again, it seemed kind of phony to me.

Well, now it's time to lay my mom to rest and I chose a brand new lilac sweater set that I purchased for her last spring - she never wore it.  Lilac is has been a lovely color on her these past few years. I also chose a pair of light gray pants, and a silver cross necklace that I know she loved.

Well, now I'm having second thoughts.  I wonder if I should have purchased a fancy dress for her to wear.  I hope I'm not disrespecting her memory in any way. 

I know this is a sensitive topic, but if anyone has thoughts on this I'd appreciate hearing them... in a kind way.

Thank you.

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Housecat, 

so sorry about the loss of your mom, you will be in my prayers.

i think the outfit you picked out is perfect

[3cupcakes]

Most sincere sympathies for your loss, @house_cat.

what you chose for your mum to wear sounds lovely & the thought you put into this reflects your memory of her, which also makes it just perfect.

years ago when my dad died, we later regretted not having his tie removed just before his burial because he just hated ties & now we all tease that he teases us from heaven about it. 

when people do what reflects their precious memories whether it's including a beloved sports team memento or a special belt buckle, I think, it is a comfort to us & one last thing we do in honoring them.

[house_cat]

Thank you, all.

Your responses and kind thoughts made me feel better about my decision.

~k~

[daisyk]

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@house_cat...I think the outfit you have in mind sounds lovely and appropriate. I see no reason for Sunday go to meetin' clothes if that wasn't your mom's thing. You knew your mom, what do you think she would think? Blessings to you.

[Suzy Q from PA]

Sorry for your loss !   The last few years of my mom's life she always wore a cardigan sweater and slacks....so when it came time to pick out burial clothes, I picked out a pretty white cardigan and slacks. 

I vividly remember my brother going up to my dad's coffin and loosening his tie...he said my dad would haunt him forever if he did not !

[Kardi]

Remember people used to get dressed up for lots of things years ago.  I remember my grandmother wearing a dress and a hat and white gloves and her hubby wearing a suit to go to a baseball game or to fly to Florida.  I've seen people attending wakes in jeans.  It's a different world.  What you've chosen is more than appropriate.

[NAES1]

Dear house_cat,

                                                       @house_cat

Please accept my deepest condolences in the loss of your precious Mother.

 With death, we are so overwhelmed with many issues to complete, and having any anxiety about any particular dress code should not be something to be upset or rethinking after you have made your loving decision.

I, also, know the deep hurt losing a beloved parent, both mother and father.

You have shown me how much you loved her so much when living. I expressively noted the color of lilac, the blouse so carefully purchased, along with her cherished cross.

 I know that you have done one of the most remembered expressions of care, by Loving your mother while alive.

That is what you have to keep in your heart Forever.

 What a wonderful daughter you have always been~ 

 NAES

[chucky12345]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

My father passed away 4 years ago. He owned a formal wear biz and we buried him in a tuxedo. My best friends father died a few years ago and he was a farmer. He was buried in New overalls and his favorite plaid shirt...with a toothpick behind his ear. 😀  never saw him without it while he was alive so....My point is u do what u feel is best...doesnt matter what anyone thinks.

like others have said the outfit u have chosen sounds lovely.  God bless you.

[bri20]

@house_cat, I'm so sorry for your loss. 

The outfit you picked out sounds lovely. 

[Moonchilde]

@house_cat, very sorry to hear of your mother's passing. As others have said, you have really had a rough time. When everything is done, I hope you get some time to be good to yourself.

Back in the day, people wanted to be buried in their "Sunday best" because there was a big difference between their everyday clothes and their best clothes. It was also a thing to be buried "dressed up" to meet your maker, and just maybe, a bit to impress the mourners.

My mother would have wanted to be in a nice version of what she enjoyed wearing, so that's what we did. I think your choice is lovely.