Sensitive Topic Regarding Mom's Burial - Page 4

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I'm sorry for your loss. The topic isn't sensitive, it's just sad. You chose a lovely outfit for your mom, it sounds perfect. The fact is that funerals for us, the living. They aren't for the ones we left us. So, don't second guess yourself.

tedEbear · ‎03-22-2015

@house_cat----So sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. You have a hard time these last few months.

You made a very loving and lovely choice for your Mother.

When my dear Grandmother passed, she was laid to rest in her VFW uniform, along with a Salute from her VFW group. I nearly started laughing, because I had NEVER seen her in the uniform, but I knew she went to the functions. Every year she took me to their annual fish fry, no uniforms. OH, WELL.

The son of a friend of ours was buried with a white T-shirt,jeans, and a baseball cap on his head.

Just believe, your Dear Mother appreciated the Love of her Daughter in life and the way she took care for her in death.

May you get much deserved rest, so you can enjoy your life going forward. Take care.-------tedEbear

PamfromCT · ‎05-22-2014

Dear Housecat, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mother. Your concern for honoring her touched my heart. I think your choice is lovely.

My Mom loved red. Despite wearing slacks most of the time, she always wore a skirt to church. So, when the time came for her final outfit, my Mom was dressed in a lovely red boiled wool jacket I had given her. And a skirt. She was old-

fashioned in some ways, but it was easy to make that decision. The family flowers were all red and white roses.

Your Mom will remain with you in spirit, to be sure. All my best to you and your family during this difficult time.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I think what you picked sounds lovely. From what you say, it was very much your mom. I prefer to remember people as they were.

I said a prayer for you. I know you have gone through some tough times. May your memories bring you comfort and peace. God Bless.

graciesmom1 · ‎07-29-2010

When my Mom died in February, we had no worries about what to dress her in. Last spring she attended my nephew's wedding in a lovely gray lace dress and everyone at the wedding complimented her on how nice she looked. She looked at me during the reception and said "since everyone likes this dress so much, you better make it my burying dress". That is exactly what she wore and was complimented by the pale pink lining of the casket and the many, many shades of pink flowers. I think she was pleased!

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

My deepest condolences and understanding as I am an only child as well and lost both my parents within 23 months of each other. Neither wanted a burial and especially did not want any kind of memorial. Both wanted to be cremated. I knew this and it was also in their wills. My Mother had a group of friends that met for 30 years or more and were horrified that I was not having a burial, not even a Memorial. Believe me, it was hard enough losing them but to have their friends be very disappointed in me (and telling me) for not giving my beloved parents what they considered to be a respectful farewell.

I told them what my parents wanted but it seemed to me to be what they wanted was the issue. I remember my Mother telling me (at a memorial for someone else) that she did NOT want her friends knashing and crying and gossiping about her when it was her time!

So as hard as it was I am totally at peace that I followed what my Mom and Dad wanted.... my heart is clear.

And so is yours!

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

Pandalady · ‎05-14-2011

@Q4u wrote:
My deepest condolences and understanding as I am an only child as well and lost both my parents within 23 months of each other. Neither wanted a burial and especially did not want any kind of memorial. Both wanted to be cremated. I knew this and it was also in their wills. My Mother had a group of friends that met for 30 years or more and were horrified that I was not having a burial, not even a Memorial. Believe me, it was hard enough losing them but to have their friends be very disappointed in me (and telling me) for not giving my beloved parents what they considered to be a respectful farewell.

I told them what my parents wanted but it seemed to me to be what they wanted was the issue. I remember my Mother telling me (at a memorial for someone else) that she did NOT want her friends knashing and crying and gossiping about her when it was her time!

So as hard as it was I am totally at peace that I followed what my Mom and Dad wanted.... my heart is clear.

And so is yours!

@Q4u As a fellow only child with parents wanting cremation, as well, I thank you for your response, as it is helpful!

@house_cat My prayers go out to you for your loss of your parents. You are a wonderful daughter who is so thoughtful and considerate in preserving your mother's memory!

I'm not short...I'm fun size!

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

@house_cat

So sorry for our losses. Hugs to you.

when my dad passed we decided NO formal dress we wanted to remember him as we knew him! He was laid to rest in his white USAC polo shirt, work boots & jeans with his USAC hat alongside of him. Everyone that came to pay their respects commented "yup that's your dad!"

my mother was always dressed nicely but loved her twin cardigan sets & slacks. Yup, you guessed it -- that's what we did!

Whatever is best for you and brings you a smile when you say goodbye to your mom for the last time is what you should do, IMO.

kislandlover · ‎09-04-2014

My Morher always complained about how her friends were buried in frilly, fancy clothes that didn't match their personality. When it came time to choose clothes for her burial, I was not at her house. My sister -in-law said , I went to her closet and chose her blue silk suit. Hope that was o.k. I realized then, that my Mom had tried to tell me. She kept saying something about a blue dress and pearls, and "not to pay for a new one." I missed the pearls, but we didn't buy some fancy thing that wasn't hers and we didn't pay extra for something she would't have worn. I think that was more important to her.

You knew her, loved her and put her to rest in something that flattered her without "putting on aires, 'as my mother said. You did great! Your Mom was lucky to have you, and you did right by her!

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

Karen, I am so very sorry about your dear mother whom you so cherished. They were so very blessed to have had the angel on earth they had as a daughter and I so highly respect and admire you from the descriptions of all that you have done. Bless you.

The funeral is, as many have said, for those who grieve. The most important thing is that your mother looked right to you. What you used sounds absolutely lovely and many ladies today are not using dresses in life or is it what they wear at the final hour.

Every funeral I have helped with, we always put that person in what they loved.

If you are at peace that is the only thing that matters.