Senior Years - Page 4

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I think that this thread underscores the necessity of staying active and involved and connected throughout our lives. It's not about whether you are married or not, some of the loneliest women I know are married. If we want to have companionship and connections in senior years, we have to make those connections throughout our lives and we can't wait for people to come to us, we have to put ourselves out there. I think that people who are social at 40 or 50 or 60 are the one who are social and have people in their lives at 90. I think just as we make financial plans and housing plans for our post retirement and elderly years; we also should make plans for our social lives.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

@Calcgirl Your question is very open-ended. If I could financially be able to live alone (which I can and do) I can tell you there is no way I'd choose to live with someone...anyone.

Interesting because I came in today from having lunch with a friend (another widow) which I do as many as 4 times a week. We enjoy each other's company but that's all we do together.

When I came home I even said out loud, "I'm so glad I live by myself". When I was married the first 7 years I worked and my late husband went to school and worked 2 jobs. Later (after 7 years) I stayed home and raised my family but he continued to go to school. Then we owned several businesses and even then he worked long hours.

I have always been used to being alone and very self-sufficient. When he died suddenly (in my arms, which I consider a gift), I never 'missed a beat'. I kept going with my life.

Oh! I had times and days here and there boo hooing but he and I always believed our 3 daughters came first. With that in mind, I never wanted them to worry about me living alone in this house. It's the same house they were raised in. Way too big for one person, but I'm comfortable here. One day, when I'm ready, I'll move.

Don't get me wrong, I love people. I love hearing what I call their stories. Strangers are my favorite. I talk to people everywhere I go. Everyone who knows me often kids me and says, "You love to talk".

True, I do, but only when I"M in the mood. I have days when I only answer the phone and texts my daughters send (so they don't worry). Am I depressed? No way! I just enjoy not talking and being alone.

I had a wonderful marriage for 38 years. Been there....done that....

Now if you were to say you needed someone to help you with paying bills, etc. and or physically help you that's totally different.

Like I said, your question is open-ended.

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

Interesting question and I'd say a definite no....

As long as I'm physically able, I'm ok with being on my own.

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@chrystaltree

Great post, and so very true.

hckynut(john)

hckynut(john)

Sueliz · ‎12-06-2015

@DiAnne wrote:
No. I live alone and I love my privacy. I have many interests and several friends - I am never lonely.

The only way I would ever consider that was if I was financially strapped and needed to rent a room for additional money but hopefully that will not happen!

I'm with you @DiAnne, I've lived alone for over 15 years now and wouldn't change a thing. I enjoy my own company but even more important to me is I don't have to answer to anyone. Sadly, I was lonely when I was married, not anymore. I value my privacy and independence.

Sueliz · ‎12-06-2015

@AKgirl2 wrote:
@Calcgirl ~ There is a distinct difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is rooted in fear. Being alone is rooted in peace.

Beautifully stated @AKgirl2!

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

@Sueliz wrote:
@AKgirl2 wrote:
@Calcgirl ~ There is a distinct difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is rooted in fear. Being alone is rooted in peace.
Beautifully stated @AKgirl2!

@Sueliz ~ I can't take the credit for what I wrote...I read it somewhere and it was an "ah ha" moment for me.

Sueliz · ‎12-06-2015

@AKgirl2 wrote:
@Sueliz wrote:
@AKgirl2 wrote:
@Calcgirl ~ There is a distinct difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is rooted in fear. Being alone is rooted in peace.
Beautifully stated @AKgirl2!
@Sueliz ~ I can't take the credit for what I wrote...I read it somewhere and it was an "ah hah" moment for me.

Thanks for sharing it though @AKgirl2. It so resonated with me because I used to tell my friends etc that when I was married I was lonely but now that I'm alone I'm not! I think so many people are afraid to be on their own, I believe it kind of forces one to look at themselves, flaws and all and most folks aren't willing to do that.

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

@Sueliz wrote:
@AKgirl2 wrote:
@Sueliz wrote:
@AKgirl2 wrote:
@Calcgirl ~ There is a distinct difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is rooted in fear. Being alone is rooted in peace.
Beautifully stated @AKgirl2!
@Sueliz ~ I can't take the credit for what I wrote...I read it somewhere and it was an "ah hah" moment for me.
Thanks for sharing it though @AKgirl2. It so resonated with me because I used to tell my friends etc that when I was married I was lonely but now that I'm alone I'm not! I think so many people are afraid to be on their own, I believe it kind of forces one to look at themselves, flaws and all and most folks aren't willing to do that.

@Sueliz ~ Many lose themselves, especially after years of being in troubled/loveless marriages and relationships. It's hard to pick up the pieces and start over, and finding out just who you are today.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

I am 62, but DH is much older and I do think about this subject.....I enjoy being married...we have a good marriage so it has been a good expeience for me. I always thought I would want to marry again if I was left a widow but he would have to be pretty special to meet the standards that I have had.....

I have discussed with two friends that when the time came we would all live together but I am not sure that would work, I do like my independence.