@occasionalrain wrote:
@NYC Susan My guess is that she was selected to receive an outside renovation at no cost, so those visiting were guests and should receive hospitality whether or not they expected or accepted the offered of coffee and cookies.
I wasn't referring to you, I like your posts. I can understand losing patience and feeling mislead; I just felt the OP meant well and deserved a pass.
I don't think anyone ever said they shouldn't receive hospitality. But posters were very far off-base, and it wasn't their fault. I'm referring to things such as telling her to light candles, have an assortment of this or that, ask what they like for breakfast, buy a coffeemaker, make accommodations for what several posters thought were overnight guests, extreme cleaning of her home both inside and out, etc. None of those things are necessary (or even make sense) for someone coming for the reason she said, and some of them were fairly costly. If she had been clear from the beginning or if she had been clear at any point, she would have received good advice from many, many well-meaning posters that would have been of more use to her.
Offering coffee and cookies is fine. In this type of situation, I would always offer, but would expect that they would prefer to get down to business since that was the reason for the visit. Several of us told her repeatedly to keep it simple. Clearly she was stressed, and she didn't need to be doing a whole lot of preparation. I think every poster really did try to help. But it was clearly not friends or family coming to stay overnight or even for an afternoon, which would be entirely different. The various suggestions made it more complicated than it needed to be, and again it wasn't their fault.
I wrote several posts that were helpful and the OP never replied, which is fine. I didn't expect to be acknowledged or thanked. But after she revealed that these visitors were coming to discuss doing work on her home, I wrote another post in which I mentioned that. And she jumped on me. So yes, I not only felt misled but I felt that she was out of line. Lashing out at others when she was the one who had been unclear from the beginning is unfair, especially since most of us (if not all) had previously taken the time to write thoughtful, helpful posts. That's why this whole thing hits a nerve for me.
I agree that she meant well. I think her nerves overtook her, and she had trouble being clear. As I said, I think everyone should leave her alone and not badger her about the reason for the visit. I suspect I know, but it's best to just move on.
Thank you for the nice compliment, by the way. I know that you and I have disagreed on occasion, but we have agreed at times too. IMO these forums are becoming more and more dull every day, so I'm happy to see posters expressing their opinions and conversations continuing as a result.
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