Among Friends

[sissel]

My Dad from Scotland & my uncles when they died the guys went to the bar, they have an empty seat with a shot glass upside down (the one that died) all the others got a shot of whiskey said nice things take a drink. This is a thing we do in my family I don't know why but they do it think some kind of respect or something just grew up with this they did it when my Dad died too. Any people from Scotland or Irish do this? For some reason they do this in my family. 

[Desertdi]

It's called an "Irish Wake"........

[magicmoodz]

Yes. My husband has a very large extended family with many through marriage of Irish descent. It is tradition to end funerals with Jameson...lots of Jameson.

I initially found this tradition to be strange at such a sad and solemn time. Now I understand how very beneficial it is to the bereaved--to be surrounded by those who share happy memories of the dearly departed.

[Imaoldhippie]

Why dont you research Irish/Scottish traditions?  That would be more factual.

[Eileen in Virginia]

I don't know about the shots, but in our Irish side of the family, it's traditional to have a post-funeral luncheon. Everyone tells stories about the deceased and it turns into a party, with lots of stories and laughter. Alcohol's available, but I don't remember a formal shot drinking like you described. 

[LindaSal]

My dad was Scottish and when he passed we (me and my siblings) all did a shot of whisky in his memory.   I have heard of this tradition though, my best friend is Irish.  We actually visited Ireland and Scotland together and what a trip that was!!!!!  Woohoo

[alicedee]

My heritage is Irish, and the drinking at the bar you describe was never done after any funerals in my family that I am aware of.

After the funeral Mass there has always been a luncheon in the church hall...the Altar Society women bring in food, and meat is purchased by the family...and those who can stay gather there for a meal.  I am from a very large and close-knit family...even at the saddest of funerals, there is reminiscing and inevitable laughter.

Alcohol has never been present.  Maybe when some people got home they had a drink...I have no way of knowing that.  For my Irish family, the funeral is a religious rite, followed by a meal.

[Sooner]

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@Imaoldhippie wrote:

Why dont you research Irish/Scottish traditions?  That would be more factual.

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@Imaoldhippie I'm sure she knows about searches.  She wanted to ask us and have a discussion perhaps.  I don't fault someone for that.  I would prefer that as well.

It is far from a tradition in my family, although they are through and through Irish on Dad's side, Welsh English on Mom's. 

With us, it was lunch at the church afterword and one woman made fabulous chicken and dumplings. . . which as a youngster I guess was better for me!  

[Imaoldhippie]

@Sooner ............I dont fault her for that either.  Just thought she could get facts and not whats handed down in families from generation to generation and possibly changed to suit the families likings.

[alicedee]

I don't know what the custom is in Ireland.  But I know many people of Irish ancestry here.  None incorporate drinking into their family gatherings and rituals, except when alcohol is served at wedding receptions....as most do, despite their heritage.

Stereotypes are frowned upon today.  I would like to see the "drinking Irishman" stereotype disappear also.