Among Friends

[BeccaLou]

@Lilysmom If people get crazy from being invited, what do they act like when they are ? Do your own thing and feel some happiness. I tried and guess what it possitively was a bad egg.

[SleeplessinSD]

@Calcgirl , did you and your sister discuss that you were celebrating Christmas with your children and grandchildren while on your trip together? Is this when she got upset? IYou say you always find a time to get together to exchange gifts but it's not on Christmas Day. Was it your plan that you'd get together with her after your dinner party on the 28th but hadn't run that by her? Sorry, so many questions. Sounds like a lack of communication. People get upset when they don't feel valued. I'm sure that wasn't your intention. You sound very close. I agree with who said it's better to be happy than right.  Life is too short...

[Sooner]

I think when ALL of us reach a certain we are no longer obligated to bow and scrape and live our lives around difficult people.

That's what I decided.  I like it. 

[ScarletDove]

@Calcgirl  Here is how I would handle the same sitaution--do not waste time in your head worrying about your sister's distress...this was your personal gathering without obligation to anyone, therefore all is well.  Let her stew, it is her problem!

[drizzellla]

Calcgirl - I am thrilled that you had a low key holiday with your family, paper plates and all. Please think of the good time you shared with your family.

You certainly had spent alot of time with your sister on the cruise. So she clearly knows that you care about her. And if she wanted to be included in your family get together why didn't she mention that fact to you BEFORE Christmas?

It is her problem not yours. 

[ROMARY]

'Funny' that I've found that those types of people (the ones who are upset because THEY weren't invited) never seem to blink twice when they invite or do things with THEIR friends and/or family. 

Not one thought about, say, the other person/family member who they know would like to attend.

They just go ahead and do whatever they do...........

[Lipstickdiva]

Now that you've given more details, I have more of an issue with her being angry with you.

It is her problem not yours. People need to stop thinking that they have to be invited to everything.  Had this been at your son and DIL's house as initially planned, she wouldn't have been invited.  This wasn't Christmas day and you are allowed to have dinner and spend time with your children and grandchildren and not her.  

I'd not discuss it again.  You apologized. She can move on or she can stew.  The choice is her's.

[Hoovermom]

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@eddyandme wrote:

If your sister and her companion were aways included in your Christmas celebration, then shame on you!

You mention she has had her children over for dinners without inviting you and your husband, but you didn't say if these dinners were just run of the mill or Chrstmas celebrations:  that's the missing part necessary to make a proper judgement call.

  I think leaving your sister out of this year's celebration is a flimsy excuse - two more seats at the table is no big deal!.  Imho there's more to this - only you know the underlying reason for your behavior.

Life goes on, hopefully your relationship will heal. Good Luck!

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There are times at the Holidays when I only want immediate family members around the table.  Time with family is becoming so hard to come by, and I cherish those few hours when it is "just us".  BTW it was not even on Christmas Day.  She already has a great relationship with her sister, but sister needs to get over it. 

[doxie1]

You can definitely invite or not invite people to your house.

It seems like your sister’s feelings are hurt. She may feel like your relationship is more than you do. There must have been a communication problem because she felt she was included. It was a Christmas dinner no matter what day you had it. Maybe she was looking forward to socializing with your children and grandchildren that you do not see much.

It does not mean you had to invite her. To understand her feelings you need to be in her shoes.

If feelings being hurt means Alzhemiers then I know some elementary students with it.

Give her space for healing to happen

doxie