SISTER ISSUE ADVICE REQUEST

Calcgirl · ‎03-10-2010

I hosted a Christmas dinner for my married children and grnadchildren. I did not invite my sister and her companion and she is now very angry with me. I meant not to hurt her just wanted a more intimate and special evening with my children and grandchildren since we can't all get together very often. I tried telling her this with no avail. She has had her children over for dinner many times without inviting me and I have never felt bad about this.

dulwich · ‎01-18-2012

@Calcgirl I feel for you. All I can say is it may take time for her to ‘get over it’.

I have a sister who would not understand this too and all I can tell you is - in my case after a very minor upset - it took her 2 years to communicate with me again and to this day I do not know really what I did!

Don’t beat yourself up - you have explained let her come round hopefully. Wishing you the best.

Leggett28 · ‎12-17-2011

You have done nothing wrong. This is her problem.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

@dulwich @gave you good advice. Read it and re-read it if necessary.

Life is too short to worry about trying to make everyone happy all of the time.

It sounds like your heart was in the right place. If your sister doesn’t understand that...well..your words of ..what? Asking for forgiveness isn’t going to matter.

Think about it....why should you ask for forgiveness?

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

You have every right in thw world to have your children and grandchildren over without your sister. I'm sure if I got in a conversation like that , I'd tell her it's no different than when she did it. After that, I'm done with that discussion.

Do what feels right for you. I'm sure it will be the correct choice.

NEvans2 · ‎01-15-2017

I think that of all the relationships I have with the people in my life, the relationship I have with my sister is often the most complicated. We have always been close. Nobody knows her as well as I do, on the other hand, nobody knows me as well as she does. In situations like you've described, she probably knows that her little unreasonable hissy fit is making you feel bad and second guessing yourself on whether you should have invited her. There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend an evening with your children and grandchildren. Life is so busy, and getting everyone together can be really hard. So sis needs to put on her big girl panties on and get over it. It took me many years to realize that I can't always make everyone happy. Your sister is being very selfish. She needs to realize that not everything is about her. Give her time, she'll come around. It may take awhile for her to get over her mad.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

Your sister has issues. Since she has children, she should have had Christmas with them.

You did nothing wrong and having Christmas with your adult children without other family members there is normal.

If you explained and she is still is upset, so be it. Hopefully, she will come around to understanding that she is upset over a non issue.

Best of luck. I hope it all works out.

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

You said she has had her children over before without inviting you, and you weren't upset....but do you think she was hurt because it was Christmas, not just a casual dinner? Do you usually celebrate Christmas together, and not being invited to join you was unexpected for her?

Of course you can invite whoever you want for Christmas....but I'm just trying to think why she would be upset. If you two are usually close and have a good relationship, if it was me I would call her and say you love her and never meant to hurt her...you should be able to talk itout and move on. If I wasn't particularly close to her, I would just let it blow over.

Hopefully your sister and her partner had other family or friends they could join that day.

Good luck,..what a way to start the new year for you.

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

I have a handful of questions. No need to answer. Do you usually spend Christmas with her? Did you tell her about your Christmas plans? Has her living situation changed?

I am thinking she is feeling the odd man out. Not sure if that's a valid feeling. I'd invite her out to lunch and get to the bottom of it. It feels like this is a valued relationship or it wouldn't bug you. If she won't go, I try again in a month.