Among Friends

[Wheatchick1]

It was 6 years ago today that I lost the love of my life.  I have done everything within my power to overcome the pain of this loss but nothing works. I have seen shrinks, therapists, read books on grieving, gone to support groups.  I have taken medications for depression, anxiety, PTSD, nightmares, insomnia.  

I have tried to “fake it till you make it” .  I have tried the path of “happiness is a choice” and live my life accordingly. I have had people tell me that I need to “suck it up” and quit living in the past. That it is time to “get over it”.

I do not choose to be this way.  I would give anything NOT to be this way. I hate the person that I am. I do not even recognize the person I am today.  

Sorry for for putting all of this out there. The pain is just more than I can take some days.  I guess today is just one of them.

[catwhisperer]

I'm sorry. (((Hugs)))

[SeaMaiden]

@Wheatchick1   I can nor will tell you anything.  But  I wish you comfort....peace....calm....understanding....love.... to get through today and everyday....each day, each step at a time.

[OKPrincess]

I'm so sorry for your pain and most people who have experienced loss grieve in their own way and in their own time. There's no magic answer. Please know things do get a little easier with each passing day. I did something I never thought I would -- took up square dancing. I learned line dances, waltz, two step, etc. it's not for everyone but thank goodness I took a leap of faith. it saved me from total dispare. God bless you and I wish you a very Merry Christmas.

[software]

If you keep moving forward, you will find peace.

It will be 5 years for me in January, I do know those feelings.

Your description looks very familiar to me but eventually I just snapped out of it, like a black cloud lifted.   Seriously, that's how I would describe it.  I have no idea why or how but it just happened.   

For so long after his passing, I felt like he was hanging on to me, but I'm sure it was the other way around.  I had frequent dreams, I would have visions of him.    He wasn't gone!   He was still real to me.

I went through a similar grief when my beloved dad passed.   He's been gone for 10 years and I must have been dreaming about him 1 night recently, I sat bolt upright awake worried that I hadn't bought his Christmas gift this year.

This time of year is always painful for me.    I lost my dad in November 2007

That's why I say if you move forward, even a tiny bit at a time, you will find peace..

@Wheatchick1

[pupwhipped]

From my heart to yours I send you a BIG hug.

I admire you for sharing your honest feelings. 

[threecees]

@Wheatchick1

You are with people/friends who care.

I hope that tomorrow will be a bit better for you.

[cimeranrose]

@Wheatchick1, I'm so sorry you're having a rough day. I'll share a quote that I like and believe with all my heart: "Loving relationships continue beyond the doors of death..." I wish I could say more but alas we aren't allowed to.

I hope tomorrow is a little better day; wishing you peace and comfort.

[Plaid Pants2]

@Wheatchick1

I am so sorry for everything that you are going through.

((((((Hugs))))))

[Wheatchick1]

The one thing that gives me comfort is knowing that this pain would not be so great unless the love had not been equally as great.  We were magic, truly connected on a level that very few ever get to know.  He saved my life at one time, literally.  We are one person and will always be together.