Re: Retirement Party Invitation

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@sunshine45 wrote:
@chrystaltree wrote:
@sunshine45 wrote:
@Melvin-QVC wrote:
@staciesmom wrote:
DH and I are invited to a colleague's retirement party this Sunday, and the invitation states "No gifts please". He is very dear to both of us and I really don't want to go empty-handed. I thought about getting a nice card to express our congratulations, but it doesn't seem right. Any advice? TIA
@staciesmom IMHO I would think if they specifically stated "no gifts" they probably have all they need or want and your presence is their present. However, I don't like to go anywhere empty handed and would atleast bring a bottle of some sort, just because.

@Melvin-QVC

i am the same way. i usually cannot NOT take something small...... a bottle of wine, a box of candies or cookies, maybe even a gift card to their favorite restaurant placed inside the card.

So, it's all about YOU and not about the guest of honor??? You just ignore their wishes and give them the burden of deciding what to do and how to dispose of the "stuff" they didn't want to begin with....lol

@chrystaltree

that is just the way i am......

now, if someone were truly offended by me bringing something then i would venture to guess that i would no longer be invited to their homes or their events OR they would say something to me about it.

it has not happened so far and i dont anticipate it happening either.

i am surely not the only one that does this, not by a long shot.

i have said no gifts on invitations often, but i definitely NEVER make the person who brought the gift feel badly. why?......because they are my friend and i know that it is not meant in a bad way at all.

But doesn't that worry you that people who did not bring a gift will feel bad because you did? To me it's about not making yourself look better or worse, but simply doing what is asked and being happy to do so, for the sake of everyone there! Why rock the boat?

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

In my opinion cards are never wrong. They aren't a gift, they take up very little space and can be discarded if the recipient doesn't want to keep them long term.

I'd buy one with a really applicable sentiment, then I'd write something very personal and appropriate for your relationship with them inside.

Taking a consumable (like wine for the event, or something similar) is seen as a nice hostess gesture and not a real gift.

If it were me sending out that invite, it would be code for, "no useless stuff, no gag gifts (that often are inappropriate and have to be thrown away later), no more 'stuff' I have to find a place for.

I don't go anywhere empty handed. It doesn't feel right. But "no gifts please" and going with something like a card or a consumable item for the event or after is not a gift, and just good manners/kindness.

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

no @Sooner because i know others are doing it also. it is never just me. there is no reason for anyone to feel bad either.

even when a gift giving event occurs i dont worry if i brought a bouquet of flowers when someone else may have given an expensive handbag or piece of jewelry.

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

Abrowneyegirl · ‎03-15-2010

@Q4u wrote:
I would make a donation to his favorite Charity (or yours if you don't know) and present that information in a very special card, I think he would be delighted with it....

Recently we were in the same boat! We know the couple and their love for animals. We made a donation in their name to a local animal rescue program. I just recently found out that after the party they looked into the animal rescue and they now volunteer with the group and are actively involved!!!

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Sooner wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:
I agree with most that 'no gift' means NO GIFT! No wrapped present, no bottle of wine, no ANYTHING. To disrespect that is selfish.

(using the term 'you' in the generic sense) When you insist upon disrespecting their request and bring a gift you are making it about YOU! Just stop that. It's wrong. You show up with a gift like 'here I am with a gift because I'm a better person'. Nope! You are disrespectful.

I like the idea one poster mentioned about sending a 'congratulations' card in the mail. That's nice and it's not disrespecting their wish for people to not bring anything. It's not necessary, as your attendance is the 'congrats', but at least it's not offensive like bringing a gift to a no gift party and making some of the others feel bad like maybe they should have brought a gift too, etc. That's just creepy.
@chickenbutt You said exactly what I think about all of this! BRAVO!!! Yes. It is making the gift about you!

It isn't about making anything about 'you'.

It is the result of being raised in a way to understand that it is never wrong to make a kind gesture. How it is received by the other person is up to them, but it certainly isn't about making things about 'you'. It's manners, kindness, thoughtfulness, honor, gratefulness etc. that is being expressed when someone honors the intent of the invite (no gifts), but recognizes that a card or a consumable food drink is simply a thank you for inviting me, or a written recognition of their event.

Anyone who would be offended/disgusted by/mad because someone handed them a card or a food/drink contribution, has the issues, not the giver.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@sunshine45 wrote:
@chrystaltree wrote:
@sunshine45 wrote:
@Melvin-QVC wrote:
@staciesmom wrote:
DH and I are invited to a colleague's retirement party this Sunday, and the invitation states "No gifts please". He is very dear to both of us and I really don't want to go empty-handed. I thought about getting a nice card to express our congratulations, but it doesn't seem right. Any advice? TIA
@staciesmom IMHO I would think if they specifically stated "no gifts" they probably have all they need or want and your presence is their present. However, I don't like to go anywhere empty handed and would atleast bring a bottle of some sort, just because.

@Melvin-QVC

i am the same way. i usually cannot NOT take something small...... a bottle of wine, a box of candies or cookies, maybe even a gift card to their favorite restaurant placed inside the card.

So, it's all about YOU and not about the guest of honor??? You just ignore their wishes and give them the burden of deciding what to do and how to dispose of the "stuff" they didn't want to begin with....lol

@chrystaltree

that is just the way i am......

now, if someone were truly offended by me bringing something then i would venture to guess that i would no longer be invited to their homes or their events OR they would say something to me about it.

it has not happened so far and i dont anticipate it happening either.

i am surely not the only one that does this, not by a long shot.

i have said no gifts on invitations often, but i definitely NEVER make the person who brought the gift feel badly. why?......because they are my friend and i know that it is not meant in a bad way at all.

I guess some people have to make it all about them, by being offended and angry.

There is something to be said for having the grace and manners to be welcoming and grateful, even when someone disregards your wishes for 'gifts' and brings you something.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@chi5925 wrote:
@Shanus wrote:
Isn’t it sweet to have the mods read/reply to our comments? Go Melvin QVC. 👌🏻

No, I don't think it's "sweet" that a QVC moderator posts his/her personal comments to a thread.

Doing that blurs the line between the customers (posters) and the moderators. Moderators may then find it either difficult or too easy to remove a thread or ban a poster or remove a comment if they get friendly with posters.

Their job is to monitor the Boards objectively and not be conversational pals with us.

JMO

I agree. I don't mind moderators answering questions here that are directed at the company about policy, help with the systems, customer service etc., but other than that, I think they need to stay out of it.

When they respond to a particular poster about something like this (not QVC related), then the removal or banning begins (here on this thread or on any other one for that matter), it can look like they are playing favorites, targeting certain posters, protecting others etc.

The moderation here is already not very consistent, and I don't like them inserting themselves in the threads, except for the necessary things I stated above.

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

Who is hosting the party? If it is a friend or family member,you could offer to bring flowers or wine....I would still mail a nice card after the party. A donation to a charity would be a wonderful gesture.