Among Friends

[CANDLEQUEEN]

I have a very close friend that retired two years ago now, and we talk often and get together usually once a month for lunch and shopping,etc.....Anyway I have never asked her what she did all day. Once we went to a get together with women that we used to work with, and that was their 1st question to her, what do you do all day? Aren't you bored? She knits hats for kids with cancer through her church. She is in a book club, she gardens when the weather is nice, and she and another friend go to the Casino probably once a month, she also crochets and reads and helps out at her church serving lunches for the homeless. So she stays active-she said she is never super busy like she was when she worked, but she stays active.....I think that question can be rude and uncalled for. A better thing to say would be Wow-now that you are retired what have you been doing? I believe some of it is jealousy as well......I can't wait to retire, but it won't be for a while.   

[Mz iMac]

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@Graciea wrote:

I think it mostly comes from jealousy. I have had the same thing happened to me. What do you DO all day? Frankly, it's nobody's business what I do all day. I worked for a long time and I saved my money to be able to retire.  I can DO whatever I want. 

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[kelsey17]

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@hoosieroriginal wrote:

do your working friends think your time is less valuable than theirs?  I'm finding this happening all the time - like my time doesn't matter anymore and theirs does. 

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YES!!....definately.....how many times i have heard it said to me...."oh i have to work"..."i don't have time to do the things i want to do because i have to work" when i mention something i might have done...............or...."i am just so busy.....i have to work"................ugh..

[dragonflyveb]

I was guilty of asking that same question too. I wanted to know how I could fill my days when my turn came. I just couldn't imagine what a day would look like not having to get up, get ready, drive to work, come home, and do household chores.

Now that I am retired, I find it take me twice as long to do half as much, and I am never bored! Now, I can't imagine how people find time to work! I am grateful every day when I wake up and realize I don't have to go to a job.

[Graciea]

I would agree for some but you can tell by the tone of the question. I have had friends call and say to me "I'm nervous about retirement, can you tell me what it's like?" That's quite a different thing.

[software]

I'm planning on retiring next year-- all my friends and family members are retired!

You need new friends!

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@hoosieroriginal wrote:

do your working friends think your time is less valuable than theirs?  I'm finding this happening all the time - like my time doesn't matter anymore and theirs does. 

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[reiki604]

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@hoosieroriginal wrote:

do your working friends think your time is less valuable than theirs?  I'm finding this happening all the time - like my time doesn't matter anymore and theirs does. 

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My friends would never imply that or try to make me feel my time doesn' matter as much as theirs. That's why they are friends. I can't control what anyone else feels so that's on them. I mostly hear how I'm never home and am always doing something and those who are still working wish theiy had the freedom I do. Friends support each other. The others are irrelevent.

[Mom2Dogs]

I agree with @cotton4me....I am early 60's and a couple of friends are retired and I do wonder what you do all day, as it is a real concern for me.  I enjoy working and wonder what I will do once I am retired.  I don't ask like you (retirees) twiddle your thumbs all day -I wonder how to fill the hours.

DH is thinking of closing our business at the end of next year...I am already worrying about it!

[pattypeep]

@hoosieroriginal  My working friends don't make me feel that way at all. They call to meet for lunch and ask me what works for me. LOL They know I keep busy doing all the things I choose to do. I disagree that many working people are jealous and that is why they ask what you do all day. I believe that they worry about keeping busy after they retire ~ unsure of themselves come that time they are able to bail out. I am often asked if I ever get bored, but no one makes me feel less of a person or a slouch. BTW ~ I NEVER get bored................

[151949]

Younger people don't realize that as we get older it takes longer to do things.