Among Friends

[chiclet]

It interests me to see the responses when someone posts about a sadness or problem.  Personally if I have a sad mothers day it does not make me feel better to hear how all your children showed up with presents etc.  If the post is about an abusive husband I would not want to hear how your husband is so wonderful...you get where I am going with this.  I would rather get responses from those sharing the same problem and how they deal with it. I always listen to people and if they are having a hard time financially,  I would never say how we have no money problems, just inherited a million dollars(did not happen just using it for an example) blah blah blah.  

[RNbynite]

@chiclet  You are an empathetic person, a wonderful character to possess.....sad that so many humans don't have it, or even comprehend it. 

[ECBG]

Responces here unfold in much the same way as a conversation.  It's hard to get specific answers.  

You do sound like a caring person.

[NickNack]

I agree with you @chiclet .  I think many people here are empathetic.  It does respond me how some respond to others though.

[LindaSal]

You do seem like a caring person however, I think if you post something on here for all to see it opens up the discussion for everyone.  Not just those who have the same problem.

Maybe adding to the title, please only respond if you have had the same experience??

Just a thought.

[manny2]

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@chiclet wrote:

It interests me to see the responses when someone posts about a sadness or problem.  Personally if I have a sad mothers day it does not make me feel better to hear how all your children showed up with presents etc.  If the post is about an abusive husband I would not want to hear how your husband is so wonderful...you get where I am going with this.  I would rather get responses from those sharing the same problem and how they deal with it. I always listen to people and if they are having a hard time financially,  I would never say how we have no money problems, just inherited a million dollars(did not happen just using it for an example) blah blah blah.  

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 I think common sense rules here. If someone is posting about an abusive husband, telling them your husband is wonderful is a moot point. Telling them they deserve a wonderful husband that respects, and treats them with dignity might work out better. If mother's day is difficult, again telling them you got a lot of presents is another moot point. Not to mention selfish. 

I like the way you think @chiclet  we need more kindness. 

I don't know why my font was changed in the first paragraph. I didn't do it, and I can't change it. 

[mspatmac]

I have found over the years in real life that most people experiencing very difficult time just want someone to listen and empathise. I've experienced it with both friends and family. 

Unless they are asking for a reference or advice they don't want our happy or horror stories. No two situations are alike.  

[qualitygal]

I don't like "non-responses", it's good to know if heard or not.  I don't hear head shaking nor do I hear shoulder shrugging. 

[chrystaltree]

You might want to hear only from like minded people but that is not how boards like this work.  People are free to respond in any way they want.  

[hckynutjohn]

@chiclet 

I get your jist. Over my years here I have started very few threads. Even fewer have to do with the inter workings of my family affairs.

My view is that the majority that take time to respond to someone dealing with a problem, it is not meant to make them feel worse. As one who is seldom short on words, I learned that there are times when one is not exactly sure what to say, is to say less.

At wakes or funerals as an example, many are not sure what to say, to those that have lost a loved one. It took only 1 funeral of one of my loved ones to know, less is always better. And "I am sorry" can never be a bad comment.     

You look a personal comments differently than I do. While I do at lot of deep thinking on certain things, I don't spend a lot of time analyzing, or over analyzing, most responses. Saying something via type is nowhere close to saying the exact same thing directly to a person.

Maybe that is why my preference, in this context, has always been face to face. Not mail/email/telephone or text.

hckynut  🇺🇸