Among Friends

[Bridgegal]

@Tinkrbl44 

Exactly!

[skatting44]

When  I have traveled out of town  :  I've been invited to rehersal dinner when I was staying with my Aunt for her son's wedding. I also have not been invited  at my Husband's nephew's rehersal dinner  because of the same cost issue that you have mentioned . I think it understandable  to not be invited .  Maybe just facilitate  all the out of town family/friends  know where each is staying or how to conatct so they can get together if they chose the night of the rehersal.

[esmerelda]

OMG it's like there are no rules or standards or customs for anything these days.  Just invite everybody, give everybody anything you own, just so you'll be inclusive and look good.

Good grief!  The rehearsal dinner is exactly as @Tinkrbl44 said...wedding party, which would include the officiant.  And if not, invite him/her anyway.  He/she is missing dinner to be at the rehearsal.

Spouses/SO's of wedding party, parents of bride and groom, parents of children in wedding party of course.  They won't be driving themselves.

[esmerelda]

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@Annie107 wrote:

Please help with this dilemma: As the mother of the bride, I'm trying to be "creative" with our Nov. rehearsal dinner.  The groom's mother isn't hosting it (they just don't do that within their very large family, probably partly due to size issues.)  We TOTALLY understand, and the bride/groom are paying for the rehearsal dinner.  Howerver, our extended family has ALWAYS invited out-of-town family & friends to the dinner (if they came a night early.)  That's an extra 15ish people from our side, and we'd be happy to pay for them. The groom's would be an extra 45ish people, which makes an "extra 60 people" and then it becomes a space plus a cost issue. 

Perhaps I'm wondering "What will people think?" if they're not invited?  Or thinking that it's bad manners?   (It really shouldn't matter, I know.  Plus we're having the real wing-ding at the Saturday night reception.)

I'm just sad/frustrated that our familiy and friends won't be offered that courtesy, as we've been offered so many times in the past.  

Thank you friends! 

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@Annie107  If the groom's mother isn't hosting because of "size issues," she doesn't understand who attends the rehearsal dinner.  It would be kind of you to let her know in case she really would like to host it.  

[itsmetoo]

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@esmerelda wrote:

OMG it's like there are no rules or standards or customs for anything these days.  Just invite everybody, give everybody anything you own, just so you'll be inclusive and look good.

Good grief!  The rehearsal dinner is exactly as @Tinkrbl44 said...wedding party, which would include the officiant.  And if not, invite him/her anyway.  He/she is missing dinner to be at the rehearsal.

Spouses/SO's of wedding party, parents of bride and groom, parents of children in wedding party of course.  They won't be driving themselves.

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@esmerelda  When my husband's sister got married our very young daughter was in the wedding but neither my husband (the bride's brother) nor I were invited to the rehearsal dinner.

[jannabelle1]

Call me naive, but until I started reading some of the posts here, I've never heard of a rehearsal dinner including guests just because they are from out of town! I've always believed that the rehearsal dinner is a more intimate affair for the wedding party, their SOs and the parents of the bride/groom (maybe grandparents), and it follows after the rehearsal at the wedding location. As a wedding guest from out of town many times, I've never expected to be invited to the rehearsal dinner if I wasn't in the wedding party.

Considering the cost of some weddings, how much wineing and dining needs to be provided to the guests? Surely suggestions or recommendations can be provided to them for restaurants and other night life in the area.

[stevieb]

The rehearsal dinner is for the couple's immediate families and their attendants. In other words, for those who have a role in the wedding.... Hence the term 'rehearsal' dinner... It's not intended as another mini-reception and it's not intended for 'out of town family'. 

[ECBG]

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@kaydee50 wrote:

We went to an out of state wedding for the son of a good friend of my husband's.  We were very surprised (and happy) to be invited to the rehearsal dinner.  However, if we hadn't been, we certainly would not have been insulted or upset.  I always thought the rehearsal dinner was only for the bridal party and immediate family.

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( agree with you completely.   Anyone should be able to understand they cant pay for so many people.  Ridiculous!

[Anonymous032819]

Why does everything have to be a huge blow-out party of the century?

Bridal shower - blow-out party

Bachlorette party - blow-out destination party

Rehearsal dinner -  blow-out party

Wedding - pull out ALL the stops, even the Royals can't top

Reception - Invite everyone you ever said "Hello" to and every table MUST be look look like it came straight from a bridal magazine.

Flowers

Music

Videographer

Photographer

Live band

Gifts for the groomsmen and bridesmaids, best man & maid of honor

Balloons

Turn the dance floor to a hip-hop happenin' night club

It's like everybody is trying to out-do everyone else.

It has become a competition.

Who can have the most lavi$h wedding.

My mother in her infinite wisdom, always told me that if I get married, to elope.

And if I ever do get married, I plan on doing just that.

[ID2]

With my last childs wedding it was their "rule" that only the people standing up and parents are invited. No one else. No spouses, No one was hurt, no one got their heads in a snit. It was lovely and their wedding was even lovelier!