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Honored Contributor
Posts: 36,403
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

Without reading the replies, may I suggest a barbque?  You could get catered at an outdoor venue like a park.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,424
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

[ Edited ]

@Annie107 wrote:

Please help with this dilemma: As the mother of the bride, I'm trying to be "creative" with our Nov. rehearsal dinner.  The groom's mother isn't hosting it (they just don't do that within their very large family, probably partly due to size issues.)  We TOTALLY understand, and the bride/groom are paying for the rehearsal dinner.  Howerver, our extended family has ALWAYS invited out-of-town family & friends to the dinner (if they came a night early.)  That's an extra 15ish people from our side, and we'd be happy to pay for them. The groom's would be an extra 45ish people, which makes an "extra 60 people" and then it becomes a space plus a cost issue. 

Perhaps I'm wondering "What will people think?" if they're not invited?  Or thinking that it's bad manners?   (It really shouldn't matter, I know.  Plus we're having the real wing-ding at the Saturday night reception.)

I'm just sad/frustrated that our familiy and friends won't be offered that courtesy, as we've been offered so many times in the past.  

Thank you friends! 


 

 

@Annie107 

 

There is no dilemma .....    If they aren't part of the actual wedding party, there's nothing for them to rehearse ....  and they shouldn't be invited.  JMO

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,034
Registered: ‎11-03-2018

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

My experience has been only people involved in the actual wedding attend the rehearsal dinner.  

 

It's nice that you want to incude out of town guests, but that's a lot of extra people to host.  If I was traveling to a wedding, I wouldn't expect to be invited to the rehearsal dinner.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,886
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

When my last child got married they stuck to their guns and only invited the parents, those standing up and their spouses. Period. No one else was there. Someone has to lay the law down and stick to it. Its just a dinner, they'll get over it. 

"Pure Michigan"
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,624
Registered: ‎03-02-2016

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

A rehearsal dinner is supposed to be an intimate affair just for the wedding party(w/SO), immediate family members so the families can get to know each other in a relaxed atmosphere. It is not a  free for all for everyone to attend. That is what the wedding reception is for. Guests that show up a day early are adults and can entertain themselves for the night.  Have a breakfast for them the morning after the wedding if you feel the need.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,820
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

Every wedding I've traveled to or attended had the rehearsal dinner for the actual participants and their significan others.  I would never expect to be invited to rehearsal dinner if I wasn't in the wedding party.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,167
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette


@Rockycoast wrote:

A rehearsal dinner is supposed to be an intimate affair just for the wedding party(w/SO), immediate family members so the families can get to know each other in a relaxed atmosphere. It is not a  free for all for everyone to attend. That is what the wedding reception is for. Guests that show up a day early are adults and can entertain themselves for the night.  Have a breakfast for them the morning after the wedding if you feel the need.


If the immediate family members haven't gotten to know each other by the night before the wedding then that's an issue within itself.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,626
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette


@Abrowneyegirl wrote:

Most guests today understand that the Rehearsal Dinner is just for the people that were at the Wedding Rehearsal.

 

You're right.  Now that I think about I wouldn't even want to go the rehearsal dinner.  The wedding and reception would be more than enough "wedding" for me.


 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,352
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

I can sort of understand why some don't read all the replies (though I don't agree with that) but at a minimum - read the OP.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,497
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

It sounds like your dilemma is that you want to invite your side of the family's out of town guests (not in the wedding) but not the other side's? If so, that would be kind of rude IMO. If you didn't invite either side's out of town guests, then that's perfectly acceptable. I wouldn't want one side to feel left out.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. ~ Desmond Tutu