Among Friends

[CatLoverDogsToo]

@CelticCrafter  according to my husband and daughter, both in management positions, yes that's true.
All they can say is yes, they were employed and verify dates

I owned a business for many years. That statement is true. However, the way supervisors get around that when asked about a former employee is to state "I would never hire Mrs. XYZ again." That says everything without saying anything, and it is allowed.

I had an employee that arrived 45 minutes late, applied makeup and ate breakfast when she finally arrived, for the next 30 minutes, and then started to do her work. She would leave for lunch and take 2 hours when only one hour was allowed. When she did do her work she was good at it, but she then demanded 2 weeks vacation  and a raise a few weeks after being hired. Since I paid an hourly wage, I didn't pay her for the late minutes, makeup and breakfast and the extra hour for lunch. She didn't understand why, thought that was mean. I fired her. I ran into her old boss and found out she did all that and stole from them. The former boss had not given the reference, an assistant had done it. Some people have no work ethic at all.

As for RInna RInna. I would be looking at the fact that she worked for the same company and retired from there. The length of service works in her favor. If she explained that she had a conflict of personalities with her supervisor, I would probably overlook that and give her a chance. Some people's personalities just don't mix.

[RinaRina]

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@CatLoverDogsToo wrote:

@CelticCrafter  according to my husband and daughter, both in management positions, yes that's true.
All they can say is yes, they were employed and verify dates

 I owned a business for many years. That statement is true. However, the way supervisors get around that when asked about a former employee is to state "I would never hire Mrs. XYZ again." That says everything without saying anything, and it is allowed.

As for RInna RInna. I would be looking at the fact that she worked for the same company and retired from there. The length of service works in her favor. If she explained that she had a conflict of personalities with her supervisor, I would probably overlook that and give her a chance. Some people's personalities just don't mix.

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Re:  "I would never hire Mrs. XYZ again."

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Bingo!

There are plenty of discreet ways to slur someone's character.  Many years ago, I had a rental property and the tenant was just awful.  I was glad to be rid of her when she moved.  I was always polite to her, so I guess she thought I liked her.  When a prospective landlord called for a reference I simply said, "I'm sorry, I'm unable to give you a reference for "Jane Doe".  When the landlord questioned me again, I simply said, "Jane Doe" probably shouldn't be using me as a reference", and hung up.

Re:  "I would be looking at the fact that she worked for the same company and retired from there. The length of service works in her favor."

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I took an "early out" package because of that monster.

When I was still working there, every week, they'd nag the "old" people about retirement.  Frankly, I was offended when I started getting emails asking me when I planned to retire.  If you said you weren't interested, they'd have "mandatory" meetings for us -- until they got rid of us. 

In the last 2 days, I've called the place 5 or 6 times (looking for references), and only one person I knew is still there.  She was very young (under 40).   Apparently, everyone else has moved on.

[CalminHeart]

I worked for a Fortune 500 company for almost 40 years before I retired.  I now work parttime, perhaps 20-22 hours a week.  Luckily, employers need to call corporate HR for references and they provide basic information.  

My last boss would ruin me if I had to use her.  I had an outstanding reputation at this company and a long history of successes.  She would stand and scream at me, call me names, tell me I was stupid, etc.  And we had an open floor plan so everyone could hear and see her do it. She would send me 30+ emails a day asking questions about my work or how I handled something.  She made my last year at this company pure he l l.  She also did it to a couple of others.   Anyway, it's why I retired.  I don't need that ******.  

Retirement was the best decision I ever made.  My income is a lot less but my stress level is so low and I'm just plain happy again.  

[RinaRina]

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@CalminHeart wrote:

Retirement was the best decision I ever made.  My income is a lot less but my stress level is so low and I'm just plain happy again.  

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ITA!  I'm VERY happy as a "retiree".  But my income?  Ugh!  No more Sisley for me! LOL!  I've stopped buying super expensive cosmetics and have saved a ton of money.

I started shopping at Walmart about 6 months ago -- and love it!  (SMH - I never thought I'd be doing that!)

I've found ways to be thrifty and actually enjoy saving money instead of spending it.

However, I worked 2 week-ends last month on a temp assignment and really enjoyed having the extra cash, getting out of the house and being around people (I live alone).

Working 16 hrs./week  -- the supplement would be great.

[RinaRina]

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@CalminHeart wrote:

My last boss would ruin me if I had to use her.  I had an outstanding reputation at this company and a long history of successes.  She would stand and scream at me, call me names, tell me I was stupid, etc.  And we had an open floor plan so everyone could hear and see her do it. She would send me 30+ emails a day asking questions about my work or how I handled something.  She made my last year at this company pure he l l.  She also did it to a couple of others.   Anyway, it's why I retired.  I don't need that ******.  

Humiliating, wasn't it?  Was she younger than you?    My "monster" was THIRTY years younger. 

 Edit:
Afterthought ...

I can't help but think that companies do this intentionally -- encourage supervisors to harass older employees so that they feel compelled to leave.  After-a-while, you just feel so uncomfortable and unhappy, you want to leave.  They've robbed you of the joy and gratification you experienced from your profession.

[CalminHeart]

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@RinaRina wrote:

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@CalminHeart wrote:

My last boss would ruin me if I had to use her.  I had an outstanding reputation at this company and a long history of successes.  She would stand and scream at me, call me names, tell me I was stupid, etc.  And we had an open floor plan so everyone could hear and see her do it. She would send me 30+ emails a day asking questions about my work or how I handled something.  She made my last year at this company pure he l l.  She also did it to a couple of others.   Anyway, it's why I retired.  I don't need that ******.  

Humiliating, wasn't it?  Was she younger than you?    My "monster" was THIRTY years younger. 

 Edit:
Afterthought ...

I can't help but think that companies do this intentionally -- encourage supervisors to harass older employees so that they feel compelled to leave.  After-a-while, you just feel so uncomfortable and unhappy, you want to leave.  They've robbed you of the joy and gratification you experienced from your profession.

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Hi.  Yes, she was in her early 30s.  When I was 61, she asked me why I was there.... as in why are you working, what is it that motivates you.  I responded with "my pension, because it'll be at 100% in 6 months." I was there for other reasons but was tired of her ****** by that time. She told me that was a stupid reason.   I'm sure she'll be concerned about her financial future when she's my age.  

In just 2 years, in the business area I was in, they ran out everyone over 55 except for 1 person who is still there.  We all had been with the company for a long time, were still covered by the old defined benefit plan, and made more money than those who were new or fresh out of college.

I also think she was intimidated by my knowledge, experience, and leadership style.  She is a mean person and it shows in how she treats people.

I filed an age discrimination and harassment complaint with HR.  They told me it most likely happened but they didn't have enough proof.  I gave them 18" thick stack of documents that clearly showed what they did.  Even my attorney said I had a good case.

In the end, I decided to walk away with my pension and 401(k).  I work parttime at a grocery store and love it!  They offered a decent hourly wage due to age and experience.  They actually pay me to laugh with, talk to, and help people.  

[151949]

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@LTT1 wrote:

@RinaRina

I have heard (but will check to verify) that past employers cannot imply negatives about those applying for work in a new situation.

There are so very many job problems these days, that anyone seeking employment should not be afraid of getting bad references. Maybe this is not true.

It might (MIGHT) be in your best interest to answer honestly about the situation, as honestly as you can.

Perhaps a friend or co-worker to write a reference for you? HTH

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I don't understand what you mean by "can't imply negatives". So if an employee has a history with your company of say taking excessive sick time or tardiness the employer can't pass that along?

[151949]

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@RinaRina wrote:

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@CalminHeart wrote:

Retirement was the best decision I ever made.  My income is a lot less but my stress level is so low and I'm just plain happy again.  

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ITA!  I'm VERY happy as a "retiree".  But my income?  Ugh!  No more Sisley for me! LOL!  I've stopped buying super expensive cosmetics and have saved a ton of money.

I started shopping at Walmart about 6 months ago -- and love it!  (SMH - I never thought I'd be doing that!)

I've found ways to be thrifty and actually enjoy saving money instead of spending it.

However, I worked 2 week-ends last month on a temp assignment and really enjoyed having the extra cash, getting out of the house and being around people (I live alone).

Working 16 hrs./week  -- the supplement would be great.

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I know what you mean. I work 2 mornings a week at the food bank - it gets me out and I've made some new friends.It would be nice to find a simple, not on my feet the whole time, job one or two days a week though to make some spending cash. A retired nurse who owns a spa here in town offered me a job as a receptionist but it would be 6 afternoons a week - no thanks to that!

[RinaRina]

*** UPDATE *** - Interview was today.

To my horror, I had to sign a release form authorizing my former employers to release ... whatever.

Sigh ...

I just don't care anymore.

[NickNack]

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@RinaRina wrote:

*** UPDATE *** - Interview was today.

To my horror, I had to sign a release form authorizing my former employers to release ... whatever.

Sigh ...

I just don't care anymore.

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That doesn't sound like a place I'd want to work.  I don't think it's right that they asked you to sign something like that.