Among Friends

[kinda silly]

Hi.... quitting smoking has to be the most challenging task to under take. Here's some things that helped me 14 years ago:

-take your first few days ( like the weekend) and treat yourself as if you have the flu. Because quitting makes you hurt all over, feeling like you're in withdrawal, skin crawls, nauseous, irritable etc.... Stay in bed for longer than usual for a few days. 

-drink lots of water (add lemon) helps to detox and helps with oral withdrawal

-I used straws or real cinnamon sticks to substitute the inhaling sensation if I really needed it but taking deep breaths in through the nose ( holding it ) and then out through the mouth

-make a go to help bag (mints, licorice, gum, cinnamon sticks)

-write a list of pros to quitting specific to him ( living longer to enjoy wife, Mom2dogs, grandchildren, saving tons of money, being able to breath, fresh breath etc...)

-go easy on yourself and allow others in to encourage

-every sick stick not smoked is money saved and longer life 

Best of luck to you and your husband. Let him it gets easier with time and honestly there will come a day when he no longer will think about smoking at all. 

Sorry this is so long.

[Lucky Charm]

Our old neighbor quit about 20 years ago. She tried and tried so many times. She would tell people she seriously thought she'd need to go to Betty Ford center to quit! She had tried everything thing. You always saw patches on her. Sometimes two! She'd have them on her arms her hips her backside Chewed the gum and smoked at the same time. She told me smoked while taking a shower. I saw her smoking while eating a meal! One day she put on an expired patch and rubbed it really hard every time she had a craving. That expired patch did it. She'd smoked for 40 years at least . She is doing well with no issues thankfully and although extremely thin, no health problems. It's got to be tough to quit smoking.

[sunsetbeach]

My two cents, the cigarette companies are evil.  I hate them.  They knew they were addicting people.  My DH smoked for a long time, and today has severe COPD.  He started smoking when he was 16 and quit in 1999 and was diagnosed in 2012.  He smoked 2 packs a day for many years and quit using the Nicotine patch.  My father worked at one of the tobacco companies his entire life and I was around smoking from childhood.  I smoked for approximately 10 years and quit in 1999 shortly after my husband quit, also with the Nicotine patch.  It is a dirty, nasty habit and I will warn anyone, you will regret smoking.  I can't stand the smell and if either of us had the opportunity, we would never have smoked. It truly is the single regret we both have.

[ThinkingOutLoud]

First, good for him! 

Second, a pat on the back for you - hang in there.

A couple things I've heard about to help are:

- EFT (free, can do any time, anywhere - check youtube - Nick Ortner or Brad Yates - search anxiety, addiction, etc)

 - find someone that offers ionized foot soaks (IIRC it'll help pull the nicotine out of the body which helps lessen cravings)

[cindyNC]

My BF was a long time smoker and quit one year after we met.  He did the patch and gum simultaneously.  It worked out well as we found out afterwards that the cigarette manufacturers had been upping the addictive substances in the cigarettes and the patches/gum done separately were not as effective. 

It's a really tough thing for a person to go thru. 

[ck111]

My husband just recently quit smoking in December after smoking most of his adult life.   He used the patches.   It was rough not gonna sugar coat it.   But I was as supportive as I could be.   I am so very proud of him that he quit!!  

[Gorgf]

There used to be hypnosis offered at medical or counseling centers? I would think relaxation techniques and exercise like yoga movements would help to relax a person. We have two 90 year olds in our Gentle Yoga class.

I worked with a co worker and she would get irritable waiting for her smoke break.  I let her go on break first. I lost a dear friend to COPD and emphysema and not good. He smoked so much he hardly ate. I loved cooking for him as he ate out of didn't eat.

I do know to not try and quit smoking and dieting at the same time. They say one addition at a time. I was married to one and after he left I had to wash everything and paint to get rid of the smell in the house as the smell lingered.  My jackets used to reek when I went to work.

Those triggers are so hard, after a meal, cup of coffee, alcohol, the smell, work breaks, and stress. To think our soldiers were given cigarettes and a six pack in the field? My Uncle in Korea came home addicted to both.

Congratulations to all of you who quit. Everyone has to find the key cold turkey or otherwise. @Mom2Dogs . Time to walk the dogs instead of smoke? 🐾

[Carolina925]

@Mom2Dogs , congratulations to your husband! I quit my 3 pack a day Marlboro Reds a few decades ago. I had tried to quit so many times that I don't know the exact date when I was finally successful. There are lots of great suggestions here! I worked in a smoke free building and wouldn't smoke in my car so those 3 packs were fit into a very small window and I felt I was almost eating those horrible things. I had gotten to the point where my cigarette budget was bigger than my food budget. No, it wasn't something I would confess to anyone else; I was so ashamed of myself since my father had died from lung cancer, a result of working in coal mines and smoking cigarettes. 

I stopped eventually by using the patches. I don't remember for sure but think the directions said not to wear them during the night because of nightmares. They release small amounts of nicotine, the addictive part, into your system.  I had previously tried the gum and hypnosis, neither worked for me but I thought the gum was yucky. You start with a high dose in the patches, then move every couple of weeks to a lesser amount. I never got past the first two weeks. I'd quit them and start up again numerous times.

Good luck to your husband. Try to be as kind as possible, it's a terrible thing to kick and very hard on the emotions. Let him be grumpy but don't let his grumpiness transfer to you. It definitely is the hardest thing I've ever had to do for myself.

[Mom2Dogs]

@Gorgf   I am not really sure what his triggers are...he rarely drinks, and does not hang out with friends...he is soon to be 84, a lot of friends. have died.   

I will say when we would visit his daughter she is a heavy cigarette smoker (my dh smokes those little cigars) and the minute a meal was finished she was out the door, and he would follow her.  They live on the other side of the country and we do not see her very often.

Today his mood seemed better, but did not sleep very well...and he walks several times a day.

[CalminHeart]

Oh my. I was a heavy smoker and quit in 1981. It was the hardest thing I ever did!  Then I messed up and started November 2017 when Mom was in hospice and quit again January 2018. 

Spouses are an important part of someone's efforts to quit. Be kind, understanding, and supportive.

My suggestions:

• Find fun things to do together.
• Try something new or out of your comfort zone.
• Take a walk together every day. Endorphins are better than a cigarette any day. 
• Find some de-stressing or relazation techniques.
• Play a game on a tablet.
• Read. 
• Do repairs around the house. 
• My favorite way to forget an urge to smoke, forget problems, or lower my stress level is to work in the yard or mow. I know, it's crazy but it works for me.
• Take deep breaths.
• Stop moping around. There is so much good to be thanful for so find it. 
• I joined a senior center where I take yoga, fitness classes, play cards, play volleyball, etc etc. 

Here is something an EMDR therapist told me after Mom died in 2017. It helps me. It took a few times to get into it.

1. Turn off the tv, music, all the noise. 
2. Settle your mind as much as you can.
3. Find something square or rectangular to look at. I look at a 6'x10' picture window when inside.
4. Start at one of the bottom corners. Focus on it.
5. Slowly breath in while slowly follow the side up with only your eyes.
6. Exhale slowly while your eyes slowly follow the top of the square across to the other corner. 
7. Slowly breath in while your eyes follow down the side.
8. Exhale slowly while your eyes follow the bottom back to the corner where you started. 
9. Do it 3-4 times. Try not to think about anything while doing it.

That same counselor reminded me that I don't have to deal with or think about problems all the time.

He had me think of a locked box somewhere (mine is in a dark black sky with stars around) where I mentally put problems or issues so I can take a break. Surprisingly, it worked for me.