Question about a Will - Page 4

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

Thank you for condolences.

My husband's family went through a HORRIBLE situation with his 2 brothers as co-executors. They spent $80,000 from the Estate on lawyer fees to fight. Was taken from all beneficiaries.

I don't believe my brother and I will have problems, but his wife calls most of the shots. I want to function as my dad's daughter and leave daughter-in-law out of it. But, of course, I will follow the instructions, and do my best to maintain his dignity with my brother and his wife. My brother is mostly clueless about legal/financial issues, but his wife does everything and thinks she knows everything.

My sister-in-law feels her husband, my brother, is a co-executor. She is acting accordingly. So I MUST be sure what the answer is right away to act appropriately.

Hyacinth

Lilysmom · ‎03-09-2010

@Marp , I agree that naming a secondary is wise. I also realize that not naming one could result in a court appointed executor.

My problem is the way it is worded. It should be clearly set out that daughter is the executor and, failing her wish or ability to do it, then the son. I think it is ambiguous the way it is worded. Hopefully those are the words of the OP, not the lawyer. If the relationship between the two is not good, there could be trouble .

Many have heard the stories of how people change when it comes to wills and some have lived it. Ambiguity is not a good thing.

There is a fair amount of work to being an Executor. It is not a job I would seek out, especially with blended families. LM

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

First let me say I am sorry for your loss. I recently lost my dad, take this time for yourself before getting into all the legal stuff.

As far as executor, the wording is strange. Every will I have seen clearly indicate 1 choice then second. It may come down to the laws in your state.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

SharkE · ‎08-19-2010

Seems clear to me. She's the main one, if don't want the job or isn't able to

do the job, then, it falls to the brother.

Don't worry about sister in law she won't be counted at all. She's not true blood don't care who she thinks she is in eyes of the law she's not of any importance.

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

@hyacinth003

First, and most importantly - my condolences to you and your family. I was definitely a "daddy's girl" and when my own dad passed away it was heartbreaking.

Please talk to your attorney immediately regarding your questions and concerns. The way I've read what you posted, you and your brother share the duties. But I'm not an attorney and every state is different.

If you are concerned about possible interference from your sister-in-law, I urge you to have your attorney make it clear to all parties who is (and isn't) in charge. If it's only you, it's only you. If it's you and your brother equally, it's your and your brother - not you and your brother with influence/direction/input from his wife. Your attorney can make that very clear.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

@SharkE wrote:
Seems clear to me. She's the main one, if don't want the job or isn't able to
do the job, then, it falls to the brother.
Don't worry about sister in law she won't be counted at all. She's not true blood don't care who she thinks she is in eyes of the law she's not of any importance.

That really depends on the State they live. Some States do give spouses rights.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@hyacinth003 wrote:
Thank you for condolences.

My husband's family went through a HORRIBLE situation with his 2 brothers as co-executors. They spent $80,000 from the Estate on lawyer fees to fight. Was taken from all beneficiaries.

I don't believe my brother and I will have problems, but his wife calls most of the shots. I want to function as my dad's daughter and leave daughter-in-law out of it. But, of course, I will follow the instructions, and do my best to maintain his dignity with my brother and his wife. My brother is mostly clueless about legal/financial issues, but his wife does everything and thinks she knows everything.

My sister-in-law feels her husband, my brother, is a co-executor. She is acting accordingly. So I MUST be sure what the answer is right away to act appropriately.

Hyacinth

Even if you brother is co-executor because of the way the will may be worded, your sister-in-law needs to act accordingly by minding her own business and butt out of it.

Warrior2022 · ‎05-31-2018

I am sorry for your loss.

I hope you are aware that you do not need to jump on this right away. Take time to grieve and you will have a more clear head. My attorney was away for the summer when my mother passed. We didn't do anything for 6 months.

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

Spoke to my dad's attorney.

I am the sole executor of the will and trustee of the revocable trust.

My sister-in-law refuses to butt out of anything. She is controlling and hyperactive, like "get things done NOW." I don't operate that way. I am more polite and measured in my responses.

I should not have any problem with my brother. But his wife can be another story. That's the only reason I really needed clarification. She acts on his behalf because he isn't interested! She wants to take charge. Maybe I should have let her!

Hyacinth

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

@hyacinth003

She wants to take charge. Maybe I should have let her!

NO

Your dad left the responsibility to you to honor. Maybe the reason was the wife of your brother, I do not know.

This time is so difficult for you.

Yes, it is stressful, you do not need the stress nor the pressure.

If she is as bossy as you indicate, then you know she will bully you.

Hyacinth, your brother and his wife will probably have arguments between themselves but do not allow those disagreements become yours.

You know what your Dad wanted and you will do it to honor him, and with respect for your brother.

Be kind to yourself and find peace. You will do the right thing. Do not be bullied because later on you will probably regret it and be mad at yourself.

Sincere sympathy concerning the loss and everything you are now experiencing.