@CrazyDaisy wrote:
@pigletsmom wrote:
Well since she doesn't seem to have bad intentions I think I'd just hope you dont' talk for a while. And not trying to be snarky but I'd take that time to think about where she's coming from. She's obviously grieving too. It sounds like she loved your Dad and he loved her. When you take her already take charge attitude and add to it that you sound a little resentful of how she felt about your Dad I think it's probably overwhelming.
Some people only know how to help by doing stuff and that sounds like her. Plus she's family and she probably feels like she's getting shut out and like she's an outsider. So I'd give her a bit of a break and be glad that my Dad had a daughter in law that he cared so much about. Much better than the opposite for sure.
Agree, There is so much that needs to be done, I see no reason why the sister-in-law could not help out with some things. An executor has final say, that does not mean they do everything themselves. Nothing has to be done immediately, explain that to her. Take the time you need, then start discussing a plan. Control is a funny thing, now that you have it do you want to exhibit all the bad things you have said about her in the past.
@CrazyDaisy
I don't like her, and she did many things to earn that. However, I am not the one who is trying to control anything. I AM his daughter, and I'm trying to do what he asked of me. She is the one who called ME and began yelling. She then refused to pick up the Mass cards SHE ordered ,or touch anything. She DEMANDED I come over right then and pick up any papers she had. I told her that I could not at that moment as I was exhausted and needed some rest. I told her my husband or daughter could come over shortly (about a half hour distance), that I would and could not at the moment. She finally agreed to that. My poor daughter arrived on the driveway (wouldn't let her come in) and threw the stuff at her, never even acknowledged her, and walked away.
On the phone (in her call to me) I asked her why she sounded so angry. She just kept yelling, and I said there was no need to be angry. She then says that her life will get easier - and I said that was good. No sarcasm or anger on my part. I have already thanked her more than once for her help with my Dad. My dad wrote the will and trust, not me. She made an assumption based on HER reading of the will. That she could keep some control via my brother.
Now SHE wants no part for reasons I don't quite understand. I can only guess it is because she is upset that she is not in a controlling position anymore. I think she is mad that I even contacted the attorney to clarify the details. I just wanted to be sure what was correct.
No, I have been polite and kind to everyone, including her. I hope she will calm down at some point. I have spent so many hours coordinating everything to keep that Mass on the date THEY scheduled. I could be a witch and say I cannot do it that day. She can take her trip to Florida on the ticket my dad paid for.
Hyacinth
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