QUESTION

Calcgirl · ‎03-10-2010

When your grown children ask you how you are doing or feeling, how do you respond?

kitcat51 · ‎09-15-2016

Tell them the truth.

Calcgirl · ‎03-10-2010

Hmm, the truth got me in trouble. Let me begin my sharing that my son who lives 45 minutes away and is quite affluent seldom calls and texts me two-three times a month. We were always very close until my husband, his dad passed away and he got married to a rather selfis woman. I have nver ever shared this thought with either of them by the way and have aways treated her warmly. His texts always ask how I am doing and my response is fine how are you and the family doing?

Well, the last text came right after I returned from the Orthopedic doctor who said I had fluid on my knee and issues with my shoulder and he was sending me in for an MRI, So I told my son what the doctor said and said that the golden years should called the rusty years and placed an LOL after the response. He texted back that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. By the way I am in my late 60's.

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

@Calcgirlwrote:
Hmm, the truth got me in trouble. Let me begin my sharing that my son who lives 45 minutes away and is quite affluent seldom calls and texts me two-three times a month. We were always very close until my husband, his dad passed away and he got married to a rather selfis woman. I have nver ever shared this thought with either of them by the way and have aways treated her warmly. His texts always ask how I am doing and my response is fine how are you and the family doing?
Well, the last text came right after I returned from the Orthopedic doctor who said I had fluid on my knee and issues with my shoulder and he was sending me in for an MRI, So I told my son what the doctor said and said that the golden years should called the rusty years and placed an LOL after the response. He texted back that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. By the way I am in my late 60's.

@Calcgirl That would be enough for me to cut him out of my will.

♥Surface of the Sun♥

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

@Calcgirl I’m so sorry.You didn’t deserve that.You have nothing to lose. I would tell him how you feel about the way he answered you.I would also tell him that you deserve some care & respect!!

If he didn’t want to know he shouldn’t have asked, period!!

To answer your question I always tell my son the truth. By his reaction I can tell he cares.If he didn’t I would certainly let him know!!

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

I tell them the truth. It's not a parent's place to totally unload (especially about the other parent) but it's important to share without burdening your kids.

My oldest is one his 4th deployment so I tell him everyone is doing well and happy. When he returns home, I'll fill him in on anything he needs to know.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

No one understands old age, until they go through it.

We realized that when we use to laugh at "I've fallen and I can't get up", has now become a personal reality and we could have that happen to us now. Not so funny now.

Let it pass, in time, he'll understand.

I want to add, to be honest with them, it might be a heriditary ailment.

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

I am honest with my children.

My parents are not honest with me and my sisters. They leave things out when we ask how they are. Its usually short answers, "We are fine". My dad had been having what he called "chest discomfort" for a month or two, before he let us know. Then when I had him at the dr's office, he had more symptoms he added to it.

Daddy backed into a parked car at wal mart, and my parents didn't tell us that either. Till I saw it a few weeks after it happened and asked about it. My sisters and I call and check in daily, and visit in person a few times a week. Somehow we didn't notice the dent in the truck for a few weeks.

@Calcgirl I'm very sorry your son did that. It sounds like he needs to come down off his high horse.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@Calcgirlwrote:
Hmm, the truth got me in trouble. Let me begin my sharing that my son who lives 45 minutes away and is quite affluent seldom calls and texts me two-three times a month. We were always very close until my husband, his dad passed away and he got married to a rather selfis woman. I have nver ever shared this thought with either of them by the way and have aways treated her warmly. His texts always ask how I am doing and my response is fine how are you and the family doing?
Well, the last text came right after I returned from the Orthopedic doctor who said I had fluid on my knee and issues with my shoulder and he was sending me in for an MRI, So I told my son what the doctor said and said that the golden years should called the rusty years and placed an LOL after the response. He texted back that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. By the way I am in my late 60's.

I would have texted back “ it’s not me I feel sorry for” and left it at that. Let him figure it out.

LindaSal · ‎05-15-2014

I feel they are so wrapped up in their own lives that they just don't have the time to worry about mom and dad for the most part. Life is difficult for them today and I don't want them worrying about us. I know my children love me and I don't expect them to fall all over me. When I was going through breast cancer they called or texted everyday and they would say "you got this right mom?" That's all I need and a big hug when I see them