Among Friends

[CareBears]

@ So very true, and too many people sit back and watch and do nothing, which IMO is as bad as what the bully is doing!

[dooBdoo]

---

@Sooner wrote:

In an odd twist, many times the ones most outspoken about bullying have in fact turned out to be the ones most guilty of bullying people who don't share their own opinions and are the most judgmental of all.

Tolerance has simply gone out the window.  It's my way or th e highway to many.  They are respectful of everyone's views--everyone who shares their own views.  About everything.

---

          Self-awareness is difficult and rare, I fear, @Sooner.   I think it probably takes hard work and determination for any of us to hold up that mirror and really see what we do, say, how we act...   and how it all comes across to  others.

[Pliqueajour]

---

@chrystaltree wrote:

Immature, weak people with low self esteem should just stay away from social media.  Cyberbullies aren't the problem; like all bullies, they look for easy victims.  They can't be stopped and no one can change them.  It's the nature of bullies.    So, adults who know they are easily intimidated should stay away from dangerous situations. 

---

You blame the victims?

[stevieb]

I didn't read the full article but just from what I saw... the comments are among the many reasons I refuse to let my life be focused on a cell phone or on social media... I agree, taken together, they're turning some human beings into automatons...

[cherry]

@CareBears  I'm so glad you escaped that situation. I've always admired your posts

[Sooner]

---

@Pliqueajour wrote:

---

@chrystaltree wrote:

Immature, weak people with low self esteem should just stay away from social media.  Cyberbullies aren't the problem; like all bullies, they look for easy victims.  They can't be stopped and no one can change them.  It's the nature of bullies.    So, adults who know they are easily intimidated should stay away from dangerous situations. 

---

You blame the victims?

---

I some way, I'm agreeing with some of the thought above.  What happens in life is that among acquaintances and especiallly at work, you've gotta be tough to survive.  Someone isn't always going to take up for you, your hurt little feelings aren't going to matter.  So what do you do then? take your toys and go home?

I wonder how kids will get along as aduits if they are so sensitive?  What do we teach kids about shaking things off, not getting in a rage just because someone says something hurtful?

How do we teach people to get along despite rejection and hurt feelings?  I have to ask that question.  You know the world doesn't run on right and wrong.  How to you cope?  How do you go on and succeed with your own values and beliefs if they don't stand up to hard times?

I just think about this.  I don't have any answers, but if we teach kids that being picked on is not the end of the world, it sure becomes less fun for others to pick on them.  

Let me say I had a LOT to overoome and what I learned is that success is more about what you overcome than what is given or awarded to you.  Success if hard fought, not passed out in MOSt cases! 

[Pliqueajour]

---

@Sooner wrote:

---

@Pliqueajour wrote:

---

@chrystaltree wrote:

Immature, weak people with low self esteem should just stay away from social media.  Cyberbullies aren't the problem; like all bullies, they look for easy victims.  They can't be stopped and no one can change them.  It's the nature of bullies.    So, adults who know they are easily intimidated should stay away from dangerous situations. 

---

You blame the victims?

---

I some way, I'm agreeing with some of the thought above.  What happens in life is that among acquaintances and especiallly at work, you've gotta be tough to survive.  Someone isn't always going to take up for you, your hurt little feelings aren't going to matter.  So what do you do then? take your toys and go home?

I wonder how kids will get along as aduits if they are so sensitive?  What do we teach kids about shaking things off, not getting in a rage just because someone says something hurtful?

How do we teach people to get along despite rejection and hurt feelings?  I have to ask that question.  You know the world doesn't run on right and wrong.  How to you cope?  How do you go on and succeed with your own values and beliefs if they don't stand up to hard times?

I just think about this.  I don't have any answers, but if we teach kids that being picked on is not the end of the world, it sure becomes less fun for others to pick on them.  

Let me say I had a LOT to overoome and what I learned is that success is more about what you overcome than what is given or awarded to you.  Success if hard fought, not passed out in MOSt cases! 

---

I get that @Sooner, but it doesn't let the bullies off the hook.

I don't support "enabling victimhood" in an unhealthy way but I also don't support victim shaming. Some people get a kick out of bullying and they'll defend themselves to the end of the day so they can keep it up.

We all need to be stronger but bullies are not "ok" and I don't want to excuse rotten behavior.  That's how it's gotten so bad imho because we let it go and give excuses. We teach our kids how to cope but also not to be rude, mean, that kind of thing.

[Sooner]

---

@Pliqueajour wrote:

---

@Sooner wrote:

---

@Pliqueajour wrote:

---

@chrystaltree wrote:

Immature, weak people with low self esteem should just stay away from social media.  Cyberbullies aren't the problem; like all bullies, they look for easy victims.  They can't be stopped and no one can change them.  It's the nature of bullies.    So, adults who know they are easily intimidated should stay away from dangerous situations. 

---

You blame the victims?

---

I some way, I'm agreeing with some of the thought above.  What happens in life is that among acquaintances and especiallly at work, you've gotta be tough to survive.  Someone isn't always going to take up for you, your hurt little feelings aren't going to matter.  So what do you do then? take your toys and go home?

I wonder how kids will get along as aduits if they are so sensitive?  What do we teach kids about shaking things off, not getting in a rage just because someone says something hurtful?

How do we teach people to get along despite rejection and hurt feelings?  I have to ask that question.  You know the world doesn't run on right and wrong.  How to you cope?  How do you go on and succeed with your own values and beliefs if they don't stand up to hard times?

I just think about this.  I don't have any answers, but if we teach kids that being picked on is not the end of the world, it sure becomes less fun for others to pick on them.  

Let me say I had a LOT to overoome and what I learned is that success is more about what you overcome than what is given or awarded to you.  Success if hard fought, not passed out in MOSt cases! 

---

I get that @Sooner, but it doesn't let the bullies off the hook.

I don't support "enabling victimhood" in an unhealthy way but I also don't support victim shaming. Some people get a kick out of bullying and they'll defend themselves to the end of the day so they can keep it up.

We all need to be stronger but bullies are not "ok" and I don't want to excuse rotten behavior.  That's how it's gotten so bad imho because we let it go and give excuses. We teach our kids how to cope but also not to be rude, mean, that kind of thing.

---

I AGREE.  BUT you will never stop it.   So what about when it happens to our kids?  And it WILL happen.  Something not being right doesn't mean it won't happen to you.  I'd rather get my kid in the mindset to shake it off and go on rather than say will it was wrong and it's the other person's problem they are bad.  If it happens to you that doesn't help much.

I am just saying that I am afraid we don't teach our girls enough not to get in bad situations for example.  Don't put yourself in a vulnerable situation.  We say you were a victim--but on the other hand, you put yourself in a vulnerable situation.  I think we need to focus more on a person's strengths rather than a bad person's faults. . . take care of yourself, value yourself, protet yourselt--it's YOUR life!  Be careful and be strong!  Don't risk your well being by depending on someone else to behave!  I guess that's my poorly worded thought here!  

[cherry]

@CareBears  always remember you picked yourself up, and got yourself  free, from that situation. You are stronger than you think

[dooBdoo]

          I think the anonymity of the internet has not only given people the chance to be much harsher and more caustic than they would be, normally, it also has given rise to what I think is an indefensible defense of their "right" to be that way or that somehow they're helping others to "toughen up."   Of course, I understand why those who engage in such activites will do what they can to excuse it away...  human nature.    And for some reason it's become chic to mock people who are gentle, sensitive, kind, compassionate.   When in the world, and how, did that happen?   I'll say it again:  it's foolish and wrong to mistake kindness for weakness.   Life already comes with challenges and hardships that can't really be avoided.   Excusing away nasty, rude, even dangerous people on the internet is a sad thing to see, in my opinion.   The heartless, bumptious, even hateful cyberbully is only a teaching tool if we exhibit it as what not to be and how to deal with it when we encounter it.