Problem with my friend.... - Page 3

Witchy Woman · ‎03-15-2010

You've gotten great suggestions, but I'm not sure any will resolve the problem.

My heartfelt thinking on this is, if someone I am friends with, or someone in my family has political/racial views so divergent from mine, how can we really feel deeply connected? If there is so much hate or anger in their hearts for things I believe in, then what?

In my case, it is my sister. We cannot/do not talk politics, but I know how she feels and simply don't understand the evolution of her thinking. Any discussion of it descends into anger and crazy talk. She has all but alientated her youngest daughter because of it.

I love my sister, but It makes me sad and makes me wonder about her inner being and spirit.

Maybe someone can offer thinking....I've given up.

Jaspersmom · ‎06-08-2011

I wouldn't respond to any part of her email. As someone else said, radio silence. Eventually when she realizes she hasn't heard from you, you can remind her that you agreed you wouldn't talk politics and you're keeping your end of the bargain. It's frustrating to have to manipulate it all, but it's what you'll have to do if you don't want to stop communicating altogether.

CherryHugs · ‎07-21-2014

I have a friend that is very political and different from mine and when she goes on a rant in an email or text i totally ignore what she says. Many of my Facebook friends the same, and I ignore that too. I do not post politics on any social media ever. I want to keep my friends

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light. —Helen Keller

Tadaki · ‎03-10-2010

My brother and I disagree and we just never talk politics. Recently, though, we were on the phone and he said something and I responded. We went back and forth for a few minutes. Then he said we could do this all day and we both started laughing. But we have quite a solid foundation of caring for each other and our families.

Also, it might depend on where your friend lives. I'm not in a hotspot, and my mind is all abuzz. I can't imagine how I would feel if I was in New York.

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

My husband is a kind, caring man, who would give anyone the shirt off his back.... but, having said that, he has zero tolerance for anyone who disagrees with his political views. When we have friends or relatives here, I do my best to steer the coversation clear of politics, because DH will get up and leave.

I feel that this is childish. I've always enjoyed hearing the opinions of people with whom I disagree. It's how we learn about each other. I like to know where people "are coming from", so to speak.

I majored in political science in college, because I find it fascinating. I can't imagine telling a friend they couldn't discuss politics with me. However, if someone is spewing racist or hateful rhetoric, I will call them out on it and end the conversation. That's a deal breaker.

~ house cat ~

wagirl · ‎03-09-2010

@Nataliesgramma-----went thru the same thing with my friend too---she is a stauch supporter, to almost being brainwashed by the current .......person. I am not,never was and never will be. the last time we texted and I voiced my concerns of the virus thing--way back in the very beginning of it all--she told me to stop listening to fake news and listen to facts!!!!----I LIVE in WA state where this began, only 15 minutes away from ground zero----and I have been listening to WA states governor and officials, NOT the feds---her words were very demeaning a belittling too---she kind of bullied me. Only been friends since the 70"s----am torn on what to do, so there has been silence between us. Not sure this can be fixed either. She is is in another state.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

DH and I are on the same side politically and most of the time can have calm, rational conversations. Sometimes, he gets so wound up, he starts yelling at the TV. I have to remind him to shut it down, I'm right next to him on the sofa. It's not just friends or other family members...husbands and wives, too. God help those locked up together now on different sides. OMG. Bloodshed.

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

Normally I'd say, stop responding to the emails. With current events, I can see where people aren't exactly themselves. I think I'd tell her one more time. If possible, call her. We agreed not to talk about x,y,z. It really upsets me when you talk about x,y,z. I love and and value our friendship, but I need you to stop talking about x,y,z. I feel strongly about this. I think if you lay it out there and she ignores you, then perhaps stop responding to her emails.

vsm · ‎05-08-2010

@wagirl wrote:
@Nataliesgramma-----went thru the same thing with my friend too---she is a stauch supporter, to almost being brainwashed by the current .......person. I am not,never was and never will be. the last time we texted and I voiced my concerns of the virus thing--way back in the very beginning of it all--she told me to stop listening to fake news and listen to facts!!!!----I LIVE in WA state where this began, only 15 minutes away from ground zero----and I have been listening to WA states governor and officials, NOT the feds---her words were very demeaning a belittling too---she kind of bullied me. Only been friends since the 70"s----am torn on what to do, so there has been silence between us. Not sure this can be fixed either. She is is in another state.

Perhaps your friend senses that you regard her as "demeaning," "belittling," "bullying," and "almost brainwashed by the current...person." If so, the tension between you is hardly surprising.

Carolm · ‎09-05-2013

I think it all comes down to what your friendship means to you. Good friends are hard to come by, and rarely do we have people in our lives that we agree on every issue.

I would not respond to her political comments -- change the subject.

I have few really good friends and I am not willing to end a relationship because I don't agree with them on politics, religion or any other issue.