Prayers and good thoughts, please. - Page 3

daisyk · ‎05-20-2011

@sfnative...sending prayers for strength and guidance!

sfnative · ‎03-10-2010

@golding76 wrote:
sfnative, since I have written about my first marriage and the horrific disaster it was on this board before, I think I should tell you that I had to leave an abusive husband. Although we were married briefly (six months) when I knew I had to divorce this mad man, we had gone together for seven years. So, it isn't as though I wasn't emotionally invested in him.

He was a tyrant, was cruel, and physically and emotionally abusive. The night he pulled a knife on me was the night that I sneaked out while he fell asleep with the knife beside him. I had the good fortune of having a great-aunt and cousin living on Wisconsin Ave. in D.C. because my husband and I lived in Glover Park, which was a couple blocks from my great-aunt in Georgetown. On an icy night, I slipped out with just a housedress and loafers on -- no socks, no coat, no nothing because I did not want to wake him up.

No one should live in fear.

Ultimately, we ended up leaving one another in an amicable fashion, but I had to separate from him. I knew if I stayed with him, I would end up crazy or dead. Decided to suffer through the break-up and shame of divorce (it was 1969; we were on the leading edge of the divorce wave). It wasn't easy but I knew I could not thrive with him.

@golding76

Thank you so very much for sharing your immensely touching experience. I'm so happy for you that you were able to escape.

I need to go now because he just walked in after being gone all day, sorry.

kivah · ‎03-11-2010

@sfnative

I suffer every day --- she was "my other half". We used to have the best times together --- didn't matter if it was just a dinner out --- or walking around the mall --- or a drive to Las Vegas. She was also the BEST COOK!!!! But - I have happy memories.

sfnative · ‎03-10-2010

Thank you, everyone, so very much. He just walked in, so I have to go until some time tomorrow. love you all to bits.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@sfnative ok just take extreme caution...those guns and temper along with alcohol abuse are definately a huge red flag.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@sfnative Your story grabs my heart because I've been where you are right now. I've been divorced since early 1980s and life has been more or less peaceful since. You'll have a rough ride for awhile. He'll probably come to you after you leave and swear he'll change and all will be rosy. Nothing will change. You need to hire an attorney ASAP to protect your assets and perhaps get an order of protection.

I had all the guns too. My ex was a hunter and a deputy sheriff. I took the rifles to a storage facility for guns and eventually gave him the ticket so he could retrieve them.

Just keep reminding yourself that this too will pass; things will eventually settle down and life will get better. You'll no longer have knots in your stomach when you're out, wondering what you'll come home to find. You deserve a peaceful retirement and not have to live in fear. Think about relocating and don't tell him where.

Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

Been there.

He'll assume you're heading for DD's. Question is, is he sober enough at times to follow you? When I left I moved 1200 miles away and he didn't maintain sobriety long enough to follow.

I only took what I could pack in my car. Nothing was left of mine in the house when I came to get it. You could store some boxes in advance if you need to.

Forget the protection order. You'll be dead before the cops show up. Call Al anon or a women's helpline when he's not around.

IamMrsG · ‎08-29-2010

@sfnative In all my time on these boards, you are one of the few posters who have consistently been thoughtful and friendly. It saddens me to the quick to learn what you are going through.

I will certainly hold you in prayer, asking for guidance and safety. Please post when time and circumstance allow to let us know how you are doing.

Sincerely, Mrs. G

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.

pugvette74 · ‎06-11-2010

@sfnative Praying for you. Please be safe. If he threatens you in anyway, call 911 and tell them he owns weapons.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

@sfnative My thoughts & prayers are with you.Please be safe. Maybe you should consider leaving town for a while so that he won't be able to find you. Hire a lawyer who specializes in domestic abuse cases.File for divorce ASAP.You deserve to be at peace!!