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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,258
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Prayers and good thoughts, please.

I've been on these boards for many years and never thought I'd be here asking for your help in this regard.

 

I'm going to be seeking a divorce very soon after a very, very long marriage.  My husband is an alcoholic, loose cannon, has a temper which cannot be predicted, does not respect me, makes faces at me and the cherry on the cake this week was him loosing his temper at me and jerking our 3 year old granddaughter out of a swing, thereby causing her to burst into a frightened screaming wail.  He had turned red and with her in his arms marched off toward the car.  I won't go on, excpet to say that I did report this to my daughter and son-in-law.  They are furious.

 

My husband has at least 2 handguns and at least 2 long guns, plus he has a conceal carry permit.  This man scares me to death.

 

Please pray and think good thoughts that in the next 2 weeks I can get an attorney and a good line on an apartment, plus start to get all of my stuff in line to get out without him knowing what I'm doing.  It will be just as though I'm getting more organized.

 

My daughter and son-in-law are with me all the way.  Additionally, I have a bank account with my daughter just in case this occurred, as I was near this 2 years ago and the account has $2,000 in it.  wish it could be more, but at least I have that and a few credit cards in my name, though I don't really want to use them.

 

Thank you so much in advance for helping me through this by praying and sending positive thoughts.

 

XXX

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,735
Registered: ‎10-29-2016

Re: Prayers and good thoughts, please.

[ Edited ]

Get a good attorney and an order of protection.  Safety first.  Wish you much peace and happiness.  Be brave.

 

Edited to add one more thought.  I am proud of you.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,158
Registered: ‎06-27-2013

Re: Prayers and good thoughts, please.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,917
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Prayers and good thoughts, please.

@sfnative@I hope that you will be safe...maybe you could hide out for a bit and let him get calmed down and accept your decision...there are women's shelters that can assist you.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,789
Registered: ‎06-26-2014

Re: Prayers and good thoughts, please.

Done @sfnative. So sorry to hear about this tough time. I had a friend that went through a similar situation. Although her husband was a nice man he was an alcoholic that would not seek help so she divorced him.

 

The incident with your grand daughter is very troubling. Proceed strongly but carefully.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,258
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Prayers and good thoughts, please.

@makena

 

"Order of Protection" - got it.  Thanks so much.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,092
Registered: ‎01-02-2011

Re: Prayers and good thoughts, please.

Good luck.  On a practical note get as much financial info as you can get your hands on  -- tax returns, pension info, 401k, other accounts.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,447
Registered: ‎01-22-2016

Re: Prayers and good thoughts, please.

[ Edited ]

Concern for your safety. Your husband proven dangerous. Often when victims leave is the time most likely be very very dangerous. Protection order of course, To often does nothing to protect victims. Please seek out help from safe house for abused women. They are trained help.

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,188
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Prayers and good thoughts, please.

I never married - but I see all these tv shows about violent men and violent women - especially to their spouses. Get the heck out of there -- and I'm happy that u have family to help and take care of u. Glad u made the decision!!!!!

I grew up in NY with an emotionally-abusive father --- and my mother was so sweet and passive. They were married for 28 years - and she was the best wife and mother -- but he was never happy. I told my mother that we had to leave as my father was getting worse --- and we moved to California ---- and were penniless. But - we never looked back. That was 50 yrs ago - and my mom passed away 35 yrs ago. I'm praying for you to find peace and happiness - and I know you will. So glad u shared ur story. Sandy, Oxnard CA.

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Woman HappyCat LOL
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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,258
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Prayers and good thoughts, please.

@dex

 

He doesn't know any of this yet.  I made the decision on Thursday morning, after the incident on Wednesday afternoon.  My daughter is in Seattle taking care of some required continuing medical education, but SIL is available.

 

Am aware of women's centers and will take advantage if I'm unable to fit into my daughter's home.  They are very supportive.

 

Monday starts the new beginning of my life, so am hoping for at least some ducks to start to fall into place.

 

Unless he directly threatens me, I am loathe to simply walk out the door, because he will ditch everything in this house that is mine.  My mother did that to me and it's left a horrible mark on me.

 

Thanks so much for your advice.