Re: Post-Christmas blues....

sweetee2 · ‎06-21-2015

I guess Christmas is what you make it. I decorated to the max, I cook to the max. I can still see their smiling faces, even my 14 year old granddaughter who doesn't smile at anything. The hugs from everyone. The memories of yesterday and of years past I hold in my heart. I'm 67 and I'll go on as long as I can.

Othereeeen · ‎03-13-2010

Part of the problem is that you're made to feel guilty if you don't partake of all the nonsense....

I and two other friends who live far apart spent Christams Day alone, and we LOVE IT.

I am no longer "afraid" to express my feelings about Christmas.

If YOU want to go all out, buy dozens of things that will be forgotten by next weekend, to prove you "care" for someone, or do what I think is unforgiveable and criminal....take your family, some with little kids, out on a road trip to grandmas during a blizzard and -40 windchills, risking their lives for a serving of roast beef and exchanging a few imported gift junk that no one wants or needs....

Then do it. Sleep on the filthy floor in the airport for three days....use that restroom that 20,000 people used before you did. Spend a freezing night on I90 while you run out of gas.

Sounds like a dream to me.

Not me. I'm out.

And I don't care what people think.

"Christmas in July" will begin on Easter Sunday in 2023....gotta get the best deals early!!!

Sheesh.

blueroses47 · ‎03-09-2010

Every year I do a lot of decorating, a lot of baking, some shopping for a few relatives (I have a small family, only my husband and his sister and her husband). But, I do go all out trying to make it as special as possible.

Now, my husband, I guess I should tell you, is a narcissist. Not the malicious, deceitful kind, but more the totally "into himself" kind, who doesn't really appreciate what others do, just appreciates and basks in his own limelight. He is also extremely, extremely cheap.

I have been with him now for 45 years, and at age 75, I don't have plans to divorce or anything,(over the years I came close several times, though).I have made my peace with him and my life with him. TO A POINT. On an ordinary day basis, I can live with it, and I do things to make myself happy, and try to ignore his ways as much as possible. However, I still find it very, very difficult on special occasions, like birthdays, holidays, when sometimes it's okay, but sometimes it's almost physically painful to have someone like him as a spouse. I then feel like I made a mistake in marrying him, and it ruined my life, in certain ways, but hey, I have to take responsibility.

This year was a bad one for me. I went through my usual routine preparations, but at one point, he got to me. I really thought to myself "this is the last Christmas I will be celebrating or acknowledging any future holiday in any way, shape or form." I had to get through this one, because his family was coming over as usual, but I really felt I couldn't go through the motions even one last time.

Well, Christmas Day is over, we had a nice time. My husband cooks the dinner (he loves to cook, control everything about the dinner, and bask in all the compliments "to the chef"). His sister and husband are very normal, and pleasant people. So, I got throught the day. To me, at this stage in my life, how many more Christmases do I have????? I guess, I would prefer to make them as pleasant as I can. Given the circumstances.

So, I've shaken off the bad mood, and will continue to try to do things for ME, even if he doesn't care or acknowledge any of it. As I told myself this morning, if I give up, if I give into his narcissistic control, if I say "no more Christmases ever", he WINS, and I lose. And what's the point of taking away what joyful time I may have left.

I won't go into the many reasons I came into this relationship or why I stayed. Part of it is because of my childhood, part of it my personality. It is what it is. I hate that expression, but it fits. My husband is not a monster, he's reliable, honest, hard working, but lacks empathy in a big way, and is very, very self centered. I wish I could go back and do my life over, but no one can.

So, thanks for starting a thread that has let me vent.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@Teddixat wrote:
@Imaoldhippie I agree. I dislike the Christmas holidays. So much build up only to be let down. I was basically sick of it by September because of the endless Christmas shows and Black Friday, super Black Fridays and super duper Black Fridays. Enough already.

@Teddixat I agree, It's a huge relief to me to have it over and done. I, too, am sick to death of hearing about it especially since its just another day, with no family around. Now I'm already dreading June when it'll start all over again.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

amyb · ‎04-05-2010

@LindaSal wrote:
I don't find sadness or feel let down though the excitement has dissipated. I am still happy for our beautiful day yesterday and feel quite blessed. I like the quietness after the holiday. I just seem to reflect as I slowly clean up the place today. My decorations stay up for awhile as we find it enjoyable. As far as the commercial stuff, I feel you can get wrapped up in it or choose not to, JMO.

Good perspective; well said. I tend to agree and feel the same on all that. I try to do my own thing no matter that the chatter starts in July, (which btw, is my favorite month and I don't need any Christmas in it! I like July for what it is!)...and then hardcore from Sept-Dec, purely for the commercialism. You do have to turn a blind eye and go at your own pace...I do my thing, during the actual season....never for 4 months ahead of time, or else nothing feels special.

I relish the lull and aftermath now...cozy in pjs (of course I happend to get sick this Christmas, day before Christmas Eve, so it got a bit derailed)...anyway....I like these days with no pressure of anything to be done anymore, and the year winding down. AND all the the Christmas, Christmas, Christmas hype is done. I've often said the day after Christmas day, today...is my favorite. Doesn't mean I don't appreciate the holiday...I just enjoy it being done too.

BlueFinch · ‎08-31-2019

I've come to realize that I love preparing for Christmas. Not necessarily the day, itself, because that just means another chapter of my life is closing.

As one Christmas closes, we're left to wonder what the next one will bring. It's a sentimental time for many, particularly those of us who have already lost so many, or those who may be facing health issues, themselves. I've found myself wondering what Christmas 2023 will be like and wishing I was more optimistic.

I find a lot of joy in purchasing gifts for those I care about and decorating the Christmas tree is my favorite holiday activity. The music, the lights, the excitement of others creates a holiday wonderland. Then bam, it's gone; back to reality.

So, I always feel some sadness, even on the day, itself. Then I find I'm not a fan of constant news reviewing events of the year, before the NY. I'd prefer to miss that this year. Not a lot I want to focus on, or remember. Been there, already.

Okay, I'm sounding really blue. Time to take the dog for a hike. Best to all with post-Christmas grumbles and wishes for all to have a peaceful, safe and healthy, 2023.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

For the 16 years I worked nightshift for all weekends and holidays, the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas was very busy for me. I HAD to get everything done before my regular work schedule switched over to the first shift of my holiday schedule, which based on this months calendar, I would have started working on the 22nd and finished at 7 a.m. on the 1st. I would've been back on my regular shift at 4 p.m. on January 2nd and 3rd, then off until Friday at 11 p.m.

So when Christmas was over for everyone else, I was just finally able to relax and take in the fact it had been here and was gone for another year, and therefore it was time to pack everything back in boxes and clean up after it!

PhilaLady1 · ‎03-11-2010

I will try to keep my post short. I think some can relate...to me, every holiday, not just Christmas and the build up before, goes faster and faster each year. As a child, holidays, birthdays, every season, day, year, went much slower. Now it all goes by at what seems at an amazing speed. It does get me depressed so I try not to think about it. I guess that's age for ya.

DSD2 · ‎01-09-2016

@blueroses47 wrote:
Every year I do a lot of decorating, a lot of baking, some shopping for a few relatives (I have a small family, only my husband and his sister and her husband). But, I do go all out trying to make it as special as possible.

Now, my husband, I guess I should tell you, is a narcissist. Not the malicious, deceitful kind, but more the totally "into himself" kind, who doesn't really appreciate what others do, just appreciates and basks in his own limelight. He is also extremely, extremely cheap.

I have been with him now for 45 years, and at age 75, I don't have plans to divorce or anything,(over the years I came close several times, though).I have made my peace with him and my life with him. TO A POINT. On an ordinary day basis, I can live with it, and I do things to make myself happy, and try to ignore his ways as much as possible. However, I still find it very, very difficult on special occasions, like birthdays, holidays, when sometimes it's okay, but sometimes it's almost physically painful to have someone like him as a spouse. I then feel like I made a mistake in marrying him, and it ruined my life, in certain ways, but hey, I have to take responsibility.

This year was a bad one for me. I went through my usual routine preparations, but at one point, he got to me. I really thought to myself "this is the last Christmas I will be celebrating or acknowledging any future holiday in any way, shape or form." I had to get through this one, because his family was coming over as usual, but I really felt I couldn't go through the motions even one last time.

Well, Christmas Day is over, we had a nice time. My husband cooks the dinner (he loves to cook, control everything about the dinner, and bask in all the compliments "to the chef"). His sister and husband are very normal, and pleasant people. So, I got throught the day. To me, at this stage in my life, how many more Christmases do I have????? I guess, I would prefer to make them as pleasant as I can. Given the circumstances.

So, I've shaken off the bad mood, and will continue to try to do things for ME, even if he doesn't care or acknowledge any of it. As I told myself this morning, if I give up, if I give into his narcissistic control, if I say "no more Christmases ever", he WINS, and I lose. And what's the point of taking away what joyful time I may have left.

I won't go into the many reasons I came into this relationship or why I stayed. Part of it is because of my childhood, part of it my personality. It is what it is. I hate that expression, but it fits. My husband is not a monster, he's reliable, honest, hard working, but lacks empathy in a big way, and is very, very self centered. I wish I could go back and do my life over, but no one can.

So, thanks for starting a thread that has let me vent.

Tears pooled in my eyes as I read your post. You sound like a lovely person and my heart goes out to you..

I am glad you will do things for yourself - you deserve them! You didn't mention if you had any family, but I hope that you have someone, if not family, than one or two caring friends. You deserve to be loved and cherished and to have empathy and be the focal point of someone else's affections. I wish you nothing but the very best. God bless you.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I feel that when we take all the Christmas decorations down on Jan. 1 or shortly after that. The house looks dull, I feel off like something is missing. That feeling lasts for a week or two.