@mrniceguy wrote:
I read his post on FB where he was asking for advice on how to get through the grieving process. As so many who have lost loved ones know, you never really "get over" it. I lost my 27 year old son to brain cancer 16 years ago, and some days are still like it just happened. You become a different person and learn to live your life in a new way - but, the sadness is always just below the surface. Most people never even know that it is there because you do learn to hide that side of yourself. Also, losing a child is very different from losing a parent or spouse. It just goes against the natural order of things. During the 6 years that my son battled the cancer, I just kept asking God to cure him and take me instead, but that wasn't to be. I miss my handsome, funny, fun-loving, kind hearted son.....and, I always will
_____
@mrniceguy,
..."your words touched me so very much".
The first time I knew about death, was when my father's mother, my devoted' sweet grandmother, died.
I was at the age of nine years old. She was dying as I was doing what all young girls were doing, going to school, playing and trying to be at the top of the class, since I always had to show my report card to Mam.
Mam was the first school principal in our large city who was female.
All of this stomach/intestinal cancer was not told to me until the last three days, prior to her death. I am knowing that she, being the strongest woman in the family, had her desires made. I had no idea what death really was, other than our family cat dying, which I grieved beyond description. She knew me this well.
At the funeral, I actually screamed out to her, telling her 'do not leave me', even stretching out my arms in to the ilse as the pallbearers carried her to the hearse, after the funeral.
I wanted her to stay and for me to be put away-anywhere- to have this unknown scary hurt to be 'no_more'. I would view that memory as trading, I suppose....
Next- was when I was sixteen and my mother's mom cried out in pain holding her arm and neck. I was watching mother pleaing 'No, mom you can not leave me'. I was clueless to what was happening until the emt came and took her to the hospital. I never saw her alive again, but absolutely knew my
PRECIOUS mother was emotinally falling in to a form of both being frightened, as well as crying uncontrollably. We had to wait until dad came home then I felt complete comfort. My Heavenly father also was with me, the entire way, I just did not realize all of this, then.
Both knew everythng to do. Both were my HEROS. Dad and mother taught us about God / Jesus all of our lives.
I know that losing a child can not even be said , in the same breath, as losing a parent, which I have lost. My mother died early, my father not too long ago.
I cannot or relate to losing a child. No, never. BUT! I can tell you...that you will see your loving son, again, One day when God tells you 'Come Home'.
When I was nineteen-(while in nursing school), my brother's best friend...just as close to being a brother, was diagnosed having cancer...
I loved him so very much. He was 17. I went with his mother every 4 days while he was in treatment.
His mother told me, "I do not know if I will survive this". Please come and be there for Bob. He believes in you and you make him laugh, so it was my honor to give Bob that deep down love, just like a sister. We grew up together. Heck, I was a top student and had not one bit of (what to do), other than confront the doctors; his mom was in what I believed - to be totally dysfunctional.
He graduated in May of that year and died 8 days later. In a way, he was like a child to me. My soul suffered terribly. I shunned God from my life. Something happened in July of that same year, I had this very warm, powerful force come over me, something that is indefinable to explain. I asked God to either kill my pain or help me understand why people have to -go through this_ STUFF.
I asked God thelp me or instill in to my reasoning why does this happen.
I felt this powerful sense of learning as much as I could and to re- direct me in to research, which I value so very much. I do understand death. It is not the final departure, but the Great Awaking to a glorious new life. I accepted God as my personal savior to guide me in every single choice, decision I would make fro that minute on.
If you knew me, at that age, I was changing life choices, prior to taking an offer to become a selected beauty model .
I had no LIKEs of anything further about anything to do with ill patients, hospitals, or even answering to the proposals from doctors, actually no one man whom I had dated, asking for me consider marriage.
I did, though by mere fate, unknown to me, meet my husband to be ...while at the hospital on the surgery side, by another head nurse asking me to check on another patient from the other floor.
He was a gift to be from God. Never was I to marry. I have been blessed in so many ways. I believe you can finish up the dream story, from what death taught me. 'He was told to family, he had no chance'.
..ps: I almost lost my husband 2 years ago to a stroke. I will tell you about this unbelievable set of events-soon.
Sending Prayerful Healing. Your life matters to me.
Your son is with Jesus. He is a bright shining light helping others. I did lose our baby through a horrific miscarriage, and grieve to this day, on that month and day.
NAES
Blogs & Forums
