Reply
Highlighted
Valued Contributor
Posts: 935
Registered: ‎03-08-2018

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.


@Vivian Florimond wrote:

My husband and I took care of our wills two years ago, after he was diagnosed with dementia. We’re set, but my 97 year old mother refuses to do anything to bring her estate up to date. She won’t spend a dime for a lawyer and won’t let my bother or me pay. I have given up. I already have too much on my plate to deal with it.


Your mother reminds me of my grandma.  She wouldn't create a will.  My mother took my Great Grandma(when she was around 100) to an attorney to update her will at Great Grandma's assistance but my grandma(great grandmother's daughter and in her late 70's at the time) would not go.  Grandma passed without a will.  Thankfully my mom and her brothers divided everything equally and without arguments.

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,417
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.

FYI: My Mother died almost 6 months ago and with will and everything, trusts, in place....still not settled yet. 

Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,836
Registered: ‎07-24-2013

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.

My parents made a will 40 yrs ago.  Dad has since passed away.  A trust that was created about 9 years ago with my mother, sister and I - it's for the house. 

 

Does mother need to file a new will? other than her house there are no other assets.  The will states after one or the other passes or both,  property divided equally to go the children.

Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,121
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.

Mimosa: Ask your attorney.

But till that day, I'll stick to the wearin' o' the green
Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,814
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.


@miimosa wrote:

My parents made a will 40 yrs ago.  Dad has since passed away.  A trust that was created about 9 years ago with my mother, sister and I - it's for the house. 

 

Does mother need to file a new will? other than her house there are no other assets.  The will states after one or the other passes or both,  property divided equally to go the children.


Would talk to an attorney there are many ways to keep things out of the probate process and the fees involved.

Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,418
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.

My father's financial advisor had the forethought or maybe it was last minute thought to have my father make all his accounts Transfer on Death.  He actually took all the paperwork with him to the hospital to do it.  That way they all went to his beneficiaries according to how he had is set up without having to go through probate.  However, he did have one Edward Jones acount we ended up having to go through probate to liquidate since he had not done that with that account.  They had to have the Letter Testamentary.  

 

The house could not be sold for 4 years if we didn't go through probate (in that state).  At one point I was thinking it might take us that long to clean it out since neither me nor my sister lived nearby.  

 

My biggest issue was with the lawyer.  Dad's Will was pretty much split it equally between me and my sister.  He did have a separate piece of paper in his lock box stipulating where he wanted some specific items to go and at the end it said "y'all can fight over the rest of it".  Dad had the checkbook in all our names and most of his bills were automatically paid out of it.  The lawyer just wanted to tell us what to do with no explanation as to why.  One thing was that the money in the checkbook had to go into an Estate account and those bills could no longer come out of it.  I argued that the money was ours and I could've actually emptied that account if I wanted to and there would be nothing anybody could do about it.  He insisted it had to go into an Estate account.  So, off to the bank we went where the bank lady told us that was our money.  She called up the lawyer's office and said she would not be setting up an Estate Account.  I think he just wanted to get his hands on some of it (there was a lot there) or else he just didn't know what he was doing.  I was able to continue using that account to pay the bills until the house was sold and then we closed it out, dividing it equally between us.

Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,840
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.

I heard Dave Ramsey say that one big mistake people make is not sharing the details of the will with their children/ inheritors right after it's drafted.   He says there should be no surprises at the reading of the will.   

 

I thought that was great advice.   So many inheritors or people who thought they would inherit can cause family breakups due to the ruckus they cause after the fact.  

Highlighted
Valued Contributor
Posts: 625
Registered: ‎05-31-2018

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.

[ Edited ]

@Shanus wrote:

FYI: My Mother died almost 6 months ago and with will and everything, trusts, in place....still not settled yet. 


Five years for my mother.  Has been closed for a year and about to be reopened.  Yes she had a will and almost no assets.

Highlighted
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,272
Registered: ‎11-21-2011

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.

@miimosa That will should be fine if nothing has changed. My parents is written like that. Surviving spouse gets everything and then the kids equally after the other one passes.

Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,021
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Older parents and how to deal w/wills,etc.

My father had a will made years ago.   That made life much easier bc long before he died he'd sold his home and the proceeds were put into CDs.  He'd given away or donated possessions before moving in with me and every account he had (checking, savings, CDs) he'd listed his 4 children as equal beneficiaries.    

 

When dad died all that was left were his clothes and monetary accounts.   I had to file a report with the county he died but bc he was in the hospital a lot during his final year I was told to let the estate open for at least a year so creditors could make any claims and I didn't have to keep opening it back up (a friend had to open her father's estate twice bc bills lagged that far behind).   Bc dad died just before Christmas I kept the estate open for 14 months bc of the holidays but everything was very easy.