Among Friends

[GCR18]

You are going to feel guilt because you are a giver and want to fix everything.  Having said that, you have no reason to feel guilty.  You have generously helped your brother get through a tough financial time.  Many couldn't make that commitment.

Could your brother be under the misunderstanding that support would continue longer?  I'm guessing he is feeling down that he can't support himself, so to speak.  He is probably scared what the future holds.  Are you able to go to him and talk in person?

[January121]

God will bless you a million times over .... you helped your brother as much as you could for as long as you could ... he should realize how much you did for him .... you are a GREAT SISTER!!!! 

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@Keeper of the koi    I agree with @occasionalrain ~ also, some people feel indebted after something like this and mask it with anger.....he is probably grateful, down deep inside.

[catwhisperer]

@Keeper of the koi...OMG, you are truly a saint. I have been through six months of pure hell, but you have me beat. God bless you. ((Hugs)).

[jeanlake]

Mary Ann, you've been given wonderful advice. I hope you feel better now. I'm sorry you have a family member who puts himself first.Your first loyalty is to your husband. Please don't allow your brother to come between your relationship with husband. I have a 'taker' as a big brother. His two younger sisters have gone above and beyond, as you have. He used to say we were 'lucky' because we had stable lives. Unfortunately, takers get mean when they don't get their way. You can help him but still emotionally separate. Good luck to you. I'm sorry you have this family stress.

[Keeper of the koi]

@GCR18, thank you, we had discussed  this in Dec that Jan.would be last payments  mortgage cable food.Due to seasonal  buisness.we work all winter but will not  see payment until spring  while still paying our employees.He had anticipated a quicker va benifit payment.I can not carry another mortgage  and all incures while   i do not work.It was very strange the silence  after stopping  paying. It really hurts.He was texting 4 times a day calling everyday.I put  my life on hold caring for his concerns. I m surprised to be treated so cool. While i was out of heat this week i texted him, his reply ,must be nice to afford a new furnace..This has been a rude awaking for me..Maryanne

[GCR18]

@Keeper of the koi

That doesn't sound good.  You've been a saint supporting him.  You shouldn't put your own security in jeopardy.  He sounds like he may be depressed and some how jealous of you.  I have something similar with my sister.  She's 16 months younger than me.  Maybe give him a little space and call him in a couple days.  No need to feel guilty.

[jeanlake]

I know the Narcissist word gets thrown around a lot, but sometimes, people just are. 

[Carol Diane]

Keeper of the koi, I am so sorry to say this but the more you talk about this sad situation, the more your brother sounds like a selfish miserable entitled 60 year old brat. He is so jealous of you. You are filled with love, he is filled with bitterness.  He needs to get emotionally well along with physically well.  Bless you 

[Q4u]

You have nothing to feel guilty about as everyone has said.....

Sometimes when someone is totally dependant on someone else because of illness (and this was for an entire year) they are scared to jump back into their life.  It may be that, which is a very complicated emotion....Continue to call him and support him verbally and encourage him to find his way.  I honestly think his attitude is based on the fear he feels.  Still no reason not to really talk to you about all this... and yes, if it were me, I'd be thanking you for all you've done the rest of my life....