Among Friends

[Keeper of the koi]

@KellyT2, thank you, he has applied an been approved but it was in early dec, so he is waiting on benefits  to be issued  out.I thought perhaps this Va rep could help investigate the hold up. I thought he would be ok by now. ..Maryanne 

[hckynut]

@Keeper of the koi

You can only do what you can do. Seems to me you have met and far surpassed what many relatives would do for an adult sibling. Feel guilty?  You should feel comfort in knowing you went beyond for your brother.

Bad things happen to good people and they should be grateful for any relative, or anyone, that helps them financially. You say "he has recovered" but I have no idea what that covers. It's time for him to figure how best he can work with whatever income he has in relation to his ability to pay.

hckynut(john)

[happycat]

It sounds like he might not realize how blessed he is to have such a generous sister, you have gone above and beyond, in my opinion. Please don't feel bad, you are not the problem, Maryanne. It isn't you. Its him.

I wish I had some  better advice, I imagine some of the other posters will have words of wisdom for you.

[occasionalrain]

It's an odd thing but people who have received help come to feel entitled to that help, as though it's owed to them. A pattern has been established and when it's not continued they resent it. 

It happens with neighbors who are borrowers when they are told no more. They get angry and a feud begins. Past favors make them feel entitled to ongoing favors. When you ask for a return of a loan, the borrower takes offense. So, if you want to be generous, it's wise to do so anonymously.

[Venezia]

Maryanne @Keeper of the koi - ((((HUGS)))) 

You've done what you could without endangering your own financial future.  He's lucky to have a sister like you.  Time for you to focus on you and your husband.  No guilt.

[SXMGirl]

No need to feel guilty as you have helped him tremendously.  I am sure that he is not happy that his benefits have not come through at this time.  You might encourage him to reach out to one of the local veterans' organizations in your area.  They may be able to offer many types of assistance and to help speed up the process for his benefits.

You are a wonderful sister, and I am certain that once his financial situation gets resolved that he will thank you.

[meallen616]

You have been a very good sister, sending you,

[Catiele]

You are one kind sister. You have done your best now it is up to him. Keep in touch with him. I have a brother and have helped him at times but nothing like what you have done.

[butterfly123]

@Keeper of the koi

You have went above and beyond for your brother. 

No guilt. Okay???

(((hugs))) ❤

[Kachina624]

@Keeper of the Koi  Maryanne, please remind yourself daily that you are not responsible for another person's happiness, only your own.  You have been as supportive as you can possibly be, now you brother need to give himself a kick in the tush and go about living his own life without leaning on you.  You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty