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Honored Contributor
Posts: 24,051
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

Another Father’s Day and time to remember my Dad. Although July marks 5 years since he passed away, it seems like yesterday he was here with me. I never say, I “lost my father”, because I did not lose him...he’s still always with me, in my thoughts.

 

He was a very strong presence in my life...a buffer between my mother’s overbearing personality and me. Dad was the balancing scale, always even tempered and fair in making decisions (well, leaned in my direction a lot). I was definitely a “Daddy’s Girl”.

 

I enjoyed being with him even though I wasn’t particularly interested in what he was doing. He’d take me on the golf cart w/ him on Sundays...just to talk between holes and spend precious time together. There wasn’t anything we couldn’t talk about. He was so easy going and loving.

 

When my younger brother passed away suddenly, he was broken. It took him a long time to get over it (don’t think he ever did), but his strength pulled Mom and me through that rough time. We could always lean on him.

 

Cancer was diagnosed 2 years before he died. I was devastated. I knew he wouldn’t be with me forever, but the thought of his having to suffer...I would have willingly taken his pain. He handled the treatments like everything else in his life with dignity and strength. 

 

Hospice took over the last few months. I gladly drove the 3 hrs. each day to sit with him and hear his stories about the war, his childhood...anything he had to say I knew would be the last words I’d remember. 

 

When he had to eventually have pain patches, the meds  caused him sometimes to be confused. Because I always looked like his mother and was named after her, he’d often think I was her in those final days...it comforted him. He’d reach up, gently grab a handful of my curls and fall asleep. We both were content. 

 

His last day, he was so tired...holding on with his typical show of strength. I got up on the hospital bed and held him. I whispered to him as he held my curls. ‘Daddy, you’re so tired of fighting. You taught me your strength. I’ve got this and can take care of Mom. I will always love you. It’s OK for you to let go now and not be in any more pain. I’ll love you always”. Some time within the next few minutes, he took his last breath. I would never be the same, but his face looked peaceful and I loved him too much not to accept being without him.

 

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I’ll always think of you with love. 

 

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

@Shanusthat was so beautiful to read.Thanks for sharing your feelings about that most special relationship.

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Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM


@Whatnow wrote:

@Shanusthat was so beautiful to read.Thanks for sharing your feelings about that most special relationship.


 

@Whatnow  💗

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Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

@Shanus

 

Oh, my.  I am just overcome with emotion reading your tribute to your father.  How blessed you were to have him as your dad and how blessed he was to have you as his daughter!

 

I, too, had a wonderful father.  Sadly, he passed away when I was pretty young --- 11.  Thankfully, I have so many lovely memories of him and of times we shared, not only as a family, but just he and I together.

 

My sister was very close to our mother and I was Daddy's girl!  Every chance I could, I was tagging along and at his side.  I am sure there were times he would rather have been left alone but he never complained!

 

My father was a very simple man.  Small things made him happy.  Nature, coffee, his guitar, and his family.  He never got the opportunity to finish school because his mother was very ill and his father was ---to put it mildly --- not around much and when he was --- well, I won't go there.  My father learned by example from watching his father --- not what to do, but what not to do!!

 

My dad was a very happy person.  He loved to sing and play his guitar.  In the summer, after the chores were done, you would find him out on the porch, strumming away, at times with a cold one!  Some times neighbors would stop by and enjoy the music or join in! 

 

My father was like yours. He became very ill with cancer and suffered for a very long time.  He exhibited such strength, dignity and faith. 

 

I am old now -- almost 66 --- and I miss him constantly and I still cry over him!

 

Now, I have recently lost my mother.  We became so close --- mother and daughter, yes, but also very, very good friends.  She was my best friend, really.  The only thing that gives me comfort is that at last they are together again!

 

Mother's Day was so hard this year as it was the first one without her.  Every Father's Day is very sad but I try to remember him with a smile also and think about all the blessings of having he and my mother in my life! 

 

 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

@Shanus

Thank you for this beautiful story of your dad.  I had tears in my eyes reading it.  It just proves that death can take a person, but it can't take wonderful, heart felt, loving memories.

"Today is full of possibilities not yet achieved." ~The Silver Fox~
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Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

My parents died from a car accident 27 years ago. At times I can still hear them in my head.All their great advice will never leave me. My stepdaughter still talks about them even though she was still young when they died. My Dad was sensitive and artistic and very gentle. He made our world beautiful.

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Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

@Shanus, and all others,

http://www.lovethispic.com/uploaded_images/267417-Happy-Father-s-Day-In-Heaven.jpg

Honored Contributor
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Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM


@AnikaBrodie wrote:

@Shanus

Thank you for this beautiful story of your dad.  I had tears in my eyes reading it.  It just proves that death can take a person, but it can't take wonderful, heart felt, loving memories.


@AnikaBrodie  That’s so true. I have several photos of him on the bulletin board in my closet and a few of the two of us. Every morning, when I go in to dress, I stop and say, “Hi, Daddy”.

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Posts: 5,621
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

@Shanus Your piece about your father is so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you for sharing such a loving story. 

 

My birth father died before I was one year old, so I when I think of my dad it is my stepfather.  Bless that man as he tok on a life with a widow who already had three children, and he loved and cared for each and every one of us for the rest of his life.  May he rest in peace and I am eternally grateful for his love of being my Daddy. 

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Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

@Shanus

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_INI7NYZVDc/UbzmI3Jw0fI/AAAAAAAAA6s/Jod_c7YNIT0/s1600/DAD+in+living+memory+of+you.jpg

"Today is full of possibilities not yet achieved." ~The Silver Fox~