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Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,505
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

[ Edited ]

 

For all of you, from my heart to yours...  ~❤️~

 

"Good dads never really die"

 

(6/6/14, written by Laurie Roberts, staff writer, AZ Republic newspaper)
 
"She was 4 years old and standing at the end of the diving board, wanting to take that next step but scared even so.
 "Jump," he said, as he treaded water below. "I'll catch you."
 So she did.
 
She was 18 and standing amid a pile of pink luggage in her new dorm room, wanting to take that next step but scared even so.
 "Go on," he said, as he gave her a hug and headed to the door. "I'm only a phone call away."
 So she did.
 
She was 22 and standing at the back of a church in white lace and satin, wanting to take that next step but scared even so.
 "Hold on," he said, as he offered his arm. "I won't let go."
 And he didn't.
 
Not that day and not in all the days and years that followed. Not even now.
 
Good dads are like that. They are always there, celebrating a daughter and helping her through the hard stuff, making it all seem so simple if you just hold on.
 
He was there when she accidently burned out the transmission on his car and when she accidently set fire to the garage.  (He was also there when she accidently took a chunk out of the garage while backing out but he was a tad angry that time, so it doesn't count.)
 
He was there when she took the bus home from college and wound up in the wrong state.   She called him late at night and of course he came for her.   Then he turned it into an adventure and never mind the food poisoning he picked up along the way home.
 
He was there when she was stranded on the freeway, never mentioning the fact that he was at work on the other side of town or that there is such a thing as AAA.
 
He was there for every scary moment in her life and for every joyous moment and for most of the moments in between.
 
Then, 10 years ago today, suddenly he wasn't there anymore.   There was grief early on, and a fear that the relentless forward march of time would carry us farther and farther apart.   The world moves on, after all, and it's painful still that he isn't here to see it.
 
But 10 years later, here are the things that she has learned.
 
Mostly, that the best fathers aren't remembered for the big things they do. Instead, it's a lifetime's worth of little things they do together that become the biggest thing of all.
 
The best moments, it turns out, are the ordinary ones.
 
His wonder at the blue hibiscus that she grew in the Arizona heat when he never could.   His delight in the stories that she wrote and the profession that they shared.   The sweetness of an evening walk, arm in arm, talking about anything or sometimes nothing at all.   The chance to watch him once she had children of her own, to see once again just how special it is to have a man such as this in a child's life -- even when the child is now a woman.
 
It's been 10 years since cancer claimed her father, but he still drops by now and then.
 
She sees him in her sister's smile.
She hears him when she writes something that is particularly good – or particularly bad.
She feels his delight in the tomatoes she tries to grow and his chuckle at the birds that claim every blasted last one of them.
 
She thinks of him when she sees a hibiscus in bloom or the cut of the mountains he loved against the desert sky at sunset.
Or the sight of any man with a well-loved and oh-so-lucky daughter.
 
And so she stands here, at the end of a decade without him, blessed and grateful and ready for all the next steps that will come in her life because she knows now what she couldn't possibly have understood 10 years ago -- that a part of him is here still.
 
Good dads, you see, never really die.  They are with you always.
 
All those years she thought she was wrapping him around her little finger?   Turns out he was wrapping himself around her heart."
 
 
~❤️~

⭐️Few things reveal your intellect & your generosity of spirit, the parallel powers of your heart & mind, better than how you give feedback. MPopova⭐️
Honored Contributor
Posts: 24,485
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM


@dooBdoo wrote:

 

            Thank you, @Shanus, for your beautiful tribute, for this thread, and my thanks to everyone who shared, too.    My heart goes out to all of you.   My Daddy died when I was 17 years old, and even now when I write those words it causes my heart to wince, breath to catch, and my eyes to tear up.   Along with the obvious Father's Day, there are special associations between my father's life and several days commemorated on everyone's calendars...   we decided long ago to use those days to celebrate his life and carry forward his memory and loving, charitable spirit.    He came from extremely humble and difficult beginnings, was a "self-made" success but always acknowledged those who were there to support and encourage him and he tried to teach us to do the same.    A man of deep faith, he put it into action and taught us that genuine faith is manifested in the way we incorporate it into our life every minute of every day and in the character and nature of our interactions with others, rather than verses to be memorized or a label we place on ourselves.    He had a magnificent joie de vivre, wicked sense of humor, energy, and a profound love and dedication to his family.    Going through life with a smile that could light up a hundred stadiums, and a passion for life that radiated equally bright, he fought hard to stay with us as long as he could, and his passing didn't move him away from us or out of our lives.   Sometimes I think when I look up into the sky I can see him smiling down and assuring me, cheering for me, and comforting me.   I feel his hugs, even now.   He's a part of us, and we try to keep his life-flame burning eternally to honor his memory.

 

            Thanks, again, everyone for taking time to share and to open your hearts.   I think every one of you is quite brilliantly special, and you're the perfect example of the reason this is called a "Community."❤️

 


@dooBdoo  Thanks for your heartfelt tribute to your Dad. On Sunday night, look up and search for the brightest star. It’s your Dad’s smile. 

 

Aside from all the bs that goes on here, we have truly joined hands through this thread. I never expected such an overwhelming response and willingness to share with such honesty and love. 

 

We are @dooBdoo indeed a community of friends. 💕

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,505
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM


@Shanus wrote:

 


@dooBdoo  Thanks for your heartfelt tribute to your Dad. On Sunday night, look up and search for the brightest star. It’s your Dad’s smile. 

 

Aside from all the bs that goes on here, we have truly joined hands through this thread. I never expected such an overwhelming response and willingness to share with such honesty and love. 

 

We are @dooBdoo indeed a community of friends. 💕


 

           That's lovely, @Shanus.  Thanks, and you're welcome, too!  I think the responses are a direct reflection of the honesty and love in your original post and all your thoughtful replies to each person.   There's a quote (from Jill Bolte Taylor) that I saved long ago:
           "Please be responsible and accountable for the energy you bring into this space.   Energy is contagious."   

            Your energy was the spark and touchstone for the tone and tenderness of this thread.❤️

 

⭐️Few things reveal your intellect & your generosity of spirit, the parallel powers of your heart & mind, better than how you give feedback. MPopova⭐️
Honored Contributor
Posts: 24,485
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM


@dooBdoo wrote:

@Shanus wrote:

 


@dooBdoo  Thanks for your heartfelt tribute to your Dad. On Sunday night, look up and search for the brightest star. It’s your Dad’s smile. 

 

Aside from all the bs that goes on here, we have truly joined hands through this thread. I never expected such an overwhelming response and willingness to share with such honesty and love. 

 

We are @dooBdoo indeed a community of friends. 💕


 

           That's lovely, @Shanus.  Thanks, and you're welcome, too!  I think the responses are a direct reflection of the honesty and love in your original post and all your thoughtful replies to each person.   There's a quote (from Jill Bolte Taylor) that I saved long ago:
           "Please be responsible and accountable for the energy you bring into this space.   Energy is contagious."   

            Your energy was the spark and touchstone for the tone and tenderness of this thread.❤️

 


@dooBdoo  😘

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,083
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

@Shanus ... A couple stories....  My father used to kill spiders for me.  The rest of the family laughed at my phobia, but he killed them for me.  In the few months after he died, I saw several, very small, dead spiders in the house.  I had never seen a live one in this house up until that point.  In all the many years since, I think I've only seen two live ones.

 

THEN.... about 5 or 6 years ago I was running some errands a few miles from home.  That Celine Dion song (I'm Everything I Am Because You Loved Me) started playing when I got in the car to come home, and finished just as I was turning into the community.  I told Dad "I miss you like crazy!"   Then, I walked the dogs around the block singing that one verse of the Natalie Cole song (the only verse I know).  Then I said "Dad, if you're out there anywhere, play that song the next time I'm in the car."  Got in the car the next day for a 25 mile trip.  Two miles in, the song played.  

 

I have no idea how many years it had been since I had heard that song before that day.  I know I haven't heard it since.  I did burst into tears when it played.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 24,485
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM


@ItsME wrote:

@Shanus ... A couple stories....  My father used to kill spiders for me.  The rest of the family laughed at my phobia, but he killed them for me.  In the few months after he died, I saw several, very small, dead spiders in the house.  I had never seen a live one in this house up until that point.  In all the many years since, I think I've only seen two live ones.

 

THEN.... about 5 or 6 years ago I was running some errands a few miles from home.  That Celine Dion song (I'm Everything I Am Because You Loved Me) started playing when I got in the car to come home, and finished just as I was turning into the community.  I told Dad "I miss you like crazy!"   Then, I walked the dogs around the block singing that one verse of the Natalie Cole song (the only verse I know).  Then I said "Dad, if you're out there anywhere, play that song the next time I'm in the car."  Got in the car the next day for a 25 mile trip.  Two miles in, the song played.  

 

I have no idea how many years it had been since I had heard that song before that day.  I know I haven't heard it since.  I did burst into tears when it played.


@ItsME  I do truly believe that loved ones remain with and around us. One night I woke up and told my husband he woke me up when his hand brushed across my hair. He said he was fast asleep too far at the edge of the bed. Yep, I believe Dad was up to his tricks of feeling my curls.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,224
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

Even though my Father has been gone since July 1970, I still miss him more and more!

 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,247
Registered: ‎09-12-2010

Re: OUR DADS: WHY WE LOVE (LOVED) THEM

Such heartfelt memories of our wonderful dads. DH and I just got back from spending a long weekend in my "home state" visiting a few relatives and of course spending a few special moments at parent's graves. I guess it was especially touching for me this weekend and it reminded me of so many special memories of them. I sometimes feel guilty because I think of my mom more, but this weekend reminded me of how special my dad was to me when I was growing up, and how much he was always there for me. I'm so grateful for my dad and just wish I had one more moment with him to tell him thanks for all he did to help me be the person that I am.