Among Friends

[september]

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@PamfromCT wrote:

I don’t pretend to know the history of all this, but the thought of anyone with Alzheimer’s disease driving a car would likely induce me to take desperate measures.  

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I completely disagree.  It isn’t that hard to keep extra keys away from someone who can’t drive anymore.  Many of us are doing it or have been there, done that. 

[PamfromCT]

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@september wrote:

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@PamfromCT wrote:

I don’t pretend to know the history of all this, but the thought of anyone with Alzheimer’s disease driving a car would likely induce me to take desperate measures.  

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I completely disagree.  It isn’t that hard to keep extra keys away from someone who can’t drive anymore.  Many of us are doing it or have been there, done that. 

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@september, If you would kindly read this thread from start to end (or perhaps carefully reread),you will understand that the act of putting this switch in parents’ car by an adult daughter, without her mother’s permission, was very likely an act of desperation by the daughter.  This it seems is her attempt to stop her father from driving.

Of course I realize people take keys away from someone they don’t want to drive.  That was not the issue.  The daughter could not take car keys away from both her parents.

[september]

@PamfromCT   I have read the thread, as well  as a previous one by this OP.  Some may see this act by the daughter as being desperate and maybe necessary.  

Perhaps mom went along with it in some way.  My point  is that it wasn’t/isn’t necessary. I believe “mom” was capable of handling it without interference by daughter.  And through her actions, daughter DID take away keys from both parents, since the car was rendered inoperable.  

[proudlyfromNJ]

My Mother had a fit and turned nasty when she couldn’t find the car keys. There was nothing she could do about it but did turn on everyone.

Her Alzheimer’s progressed fairly fast and the keys were forgotten. I thanked the Lord when she passed away. She was in torment.

[sunshine45]

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@september wrote:

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@PamfromCT wrote:

I don’t pretend to know the history of all this, but the thought of anyone with Alzheimer’s disease driving a car would likely induce me to take desperate measures.  

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I completely disagree.  It isn’t that hard to keep extra keys away from someone who can’t drive anymore.  Many of us are doing it or have been there, done that. 

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nope......it isnt that difficult to take the extra keys away from a driver who should not be driving.......until he calls someone to come and make spare keys. yes, i have experienced this.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@september wrote:

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@PamfromCT wrote:

I don’t pretend to know the history of all this, but the thought of anyone with Alzheimer’s disease driving a car would likely induce me to take desperate measures.  

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I completely disagree.  It isn’t that hard to keep extra keys away from someone who can’t drive anymore.  Many of us are doing it or have been there, done that. 

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Every person and every situation is different.  Be thankful that it was easy for you to take the keys away from someone who should not be driving.  For many others it is not as simple.  Based on the father ripping the camera out in the garage indicates how difficult the situation has become. Judging the daughters actions is silly, the mother had to know both the camera and the kill switch had been installed and went along with it.  Makes me wonder if the kill switch actually malfunctioned or was set off by someone who should not be driving.

[occasionalrain]

The OP did not know her daughter had the camera installed in the garage and wanted it out too.

This daughter is not helping. She is making it worse and adding stress to her mother. No wonder so many couples are remaining child free. 

[PamfromCT]

Yes, this is a sad and very difficult situation.  Like everything in life, people act differently to various situations.  In this case, I feel very sorry for anyone taking care of someone who is very angry about their Alzheimer’s diagnosis.  It must be incredibly hard.  I am sorry if my post seemed very harsh, but likely influenced that my car was hit by a distracted driver.  It is a chilling reminder that a car is more than a means of transportation.  

[hayseed00]

@proudlyfromNJ   My mom was the same way, and she fell and fractured her ankle and was unable to try and get her keys or drive.  Deep down it was a blessing because we were having such a hard time taking care of her.  My mom was "her way or the hard way" before her dementia and was much worse after her dementia symptoms.  I agree with you.  Watching my mom deteriorate before my eyes was so emotionally painful for our family.  She also forgot about wanting to drive a car, and her behavior to us turned very loving and sweet.  Her sister, my aunt told me that my mother became the mom I never had growing up.  I miss my mom very much and always remember only the good times growing up.

[esmerelda]

@Vivian 

Sounds like you need to establish clear boundaries for this too-helpful daughter.