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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,678
Registered: ‎06-07-2010

Not to be morbid, but funeral plans

Is anyone else making their own funeral plans?  I am and am having a hard time w/cremation or not.  I keep thinking about "dust to dust, ashes to ashes", and think that's the way I would like to choose, but wonder if I'm taking away from the survivors.  My kids say it is up to me, but.........Anyone else facing this delimna?  Thanks! 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,155
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Not to be morbid, but funeral plans

My son,and husband was cremated, no service at funeral home,with son we had talked once about what we all wanted, it was such a shock,when he died, that my husband and i just could not see him laying in a casket, and being that we all had talked about it,we did not have to do that, i will be cremated also, the soul is gone, body is what is left.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,454
Registered: ‎01-13-2013

Re: Not to be morbid, but funeral plans

@goldensrbest So sorry to hear about your son - my worst nightmare - XOXO

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,249
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Not to be morbid, but funeral plans

[ Edited ]

I want to be cremated.  Some friends have recommended affordable cremations in SW FL.  I have told my son and husband if I die, call affordable cremations!  I'm going to call them and chat.  Maybe get a sticker with number and post to the refrigerator.  It's morbid, but inevitable.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,155
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Not to be morbid, but funeral plans


@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

@goldensrbest So sorry to hear about your son - my worst nightmare - XOXO



@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

@goldensrbest So sorry to hear about your son - my worst nightmare - XOXO



What is this?

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,833
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Not to be morbid, but funeral plans

I know the questions you have - I have the same ones.  DH has made his plans, set them up, paid for them, etc.  When he goes, I am to call someone who will remove his body, go directly to cremation, no service, no viewing. This is definitely what he wants.

 

I had a friend who also wanted cremation. They had a viewing, afuneral service, then took her away for cremation.  She is buried on top of her husband's grave, which is 6 feet down, her ashes are 4 feet.  This seems to have served to handle everyone's wishes.  Not a bad plan IMHO.

 

I still have some thinking to do. No one in my family has chosen cremation in the past, and there are some serious considerations to be addressed. This time will come for everyone - never too early to begin thinking.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,450
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Not to be morbid, but funeral plans

[ Edited ]

It's good that you're planning ahead.  This will save your children from having to make decisions at a difficult time.  Both of my parents were cremated.  Dad's remains are in a mausoleum.  I've gone there twice in the 35 years since he died & probably won't ever go there again, & it's not far away.  Mom left her remains to science.  we knew that in advance, but we didn't know the organization was going to ask us whether or not we wanted her cremated remains after they harvested her tissues.  So, we were caught off-guard & had to make a hasty decision.  We wound up saying yes; they were sent to me in a sealed box about 6 weeks later.  A year later, when we were able to get all kids & their spouses & grands together at one time, we took her remains to a special place & scattered her remains.  I also plan to donate my body to science but have not yet talked to the family about what follows.  Personally, I'd just let the organization dispose of my cremains.  However, if the family wants to scatter them, that's OK with me.  Just as an FYI, we did not pay anything for Mom's cremation.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,755
Registered: ‎03-15-2014

Re: Not to be morbid, but funeral plans

[ Edited ]

@goldensrbest wrote:

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

@goldensrbest So sorry to hear about your son - my worst nightmare - XOXO



@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

@goldensrbest So sorry to hear about your son - my worst nightmare - XOXO



What is this?


It means "So sorry to hear about your son - my worst nightmare - XOXO"  It's addressed to goldensrbest.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 514
Registered: ‎08-18-2015

Re: Not to be morbid, but funeral plans

Depending on how religious you are ... the Catholic church didn't permit cremations until relatively recently.

 

1.  We recently buried my 90-yo grandmother.  We prefunded her final arrangments before she ran out of $$$ (assisted living costs $100K/yr!).

 

The cemetery plots were purchased in 1979 when her mother died.  The double-wide grave marker was purchased in 1989 when my grandfather died (cost included updating when 2nd spouse dies).  Since many of her friends had already died, we weren't planning on having a viewing or funeral mass.

 

Cremation costs half of a traditional funeral as they only have to dig up the part of the plot hearest the headstone.  You can buy an urn (or a casket, for that matter) from one of the warehouse clubs.

 

2.  One of my aunts and her husband planned their final arrangements by buying a niche that fits a casket and an urn.  So the surviving spouse will decide whether the 1st decedent will be cremated or not.  I guess at the end of the day they both could be cremated.  They asked my (male) cousins if this creeped them out our not, and they said they didn't really care.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,253
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Not to be morbid, but funeral plans

[ Edited ]

We've made our arrangements too. We're doing cremation. We're doing all we can to make that time easier for the last one of us and our son. I don't want to wait until I'm too old or he is and can't make the right choices for us. Good for you for doing this. sounds like you talked to your dependents and they are leaving it up to you.

 

A number of people now are choosing this way. For some they don't want to do this, either way, do what you need to and choose to. It's as much for you as for them.

 

Came back to add, for military people, check out what can be done for them.