Not Sure How to Handle this Situation - Page 7

Frosted Cake · ‎02-01-2016

@Tadaki wrote:
Did you read about the Indiana state trooper who was talking about his church and asking people if they were saved when he pulled them over? He lost his job after being reported multiple times.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/04/07/trooper-sued-for-proselytizing-durin...

So I wasn't shocked to read about the OP's experience. It happens.

Tadaki,

Thanks for sharing. That too is incredible. I'm not looking to sue, but I do think it needs to be addressed in some manner.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@dooBdoo wrote:

@jubilant, "Blackmail" is exactly the word I was thinking about after I posted and left the thread. Just based on what @Frosted Cake has told us, or as far as she's aware, this person sounds like she's using her position to coerce people into adopting her personal faith.

She's a bully plain and simple.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Frosted Cake

SMH .... it's things like this that give Christians a bad name. I do hope you report this moron to their Supervisor, and share the emails .... and I sincerely hope that the Supervisor doesn't ask you to visit their church ... this is just wrong!!

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Frosted Cake, I don't think there's any question. You have to report her. She is completely inappropriate, and if she tried to force her own religious beliefs on you then she likely has done it to others and will continue to do so.

I know you said you're kind of afraid to report her. Don't be. There may have been other complaints about her, and your story could actually be very helpful. And if her superiors don't know, then they should! There is absolutely no way that anyone can justify what she did. She's being paid to do a specific job, and she has crossed a very serious line. This wasn't a one-time slip of the tongue. She was intent and determined, and she was 1000% wrong.

I also don't think you should wait. Yes, your job search is important, but reporting her isn't going to take much time. You'll just tell them about your experience and how uncomfortable it made you. I am sure they will be grateful that you came forward.

A few years ago, I was involved in a situation when I was counseling a woman who had been accused by a nasty neighbor of abusing her kids. She wasn't abusing them, but she was investigated, had to put her kids through physical exams, etc. She was a single mom and having financial problems, but handling things pretty well. However, a county social worker showed up at her house one night, proceeded to sit on the couch and tell this woman that if she had Jesus in her life, she would be better able to handle stress and wouldn't be so angry that she would hit her kids! My patient calmly told the woman that she was Jewish, happy in her religion, wasn't angry, and wasn't hitting her kids. But the social worker would not let up, and kept telling her that all of her problems would be solved if she found Jesus. When I heard about this, I was beyond furious! And I reported her. The county agency fell all over themselves apologizing to my patient. They were as outraged as I was, and thanked us repeatedly for letting them know. And then they went above & beyond for her, helping her get thru the remaining paperwork of her case quickly, etc.

You are certainly not as vulnerable as this young mother was, but it's still the same in that what was done was wrong. It's not allowed and it should not be tolerated. IMO ignoring it is the wrong thing to do because if she did it to you, she will do it others, and the next person might be more impressionable and not as savvy as you are. Sorry for the length of this, and if I sound overly-emotional. It just pushed some buttons for me because it reminded me of the experience I mentioned. No one in her position should be inviting you to church in the first place, never mind all the rest that she said. And don't worry - No one will hold it against you if you report it. Quite the opposite. They need to know and they want to know. Just as you and I would certainly want to know if we had an employee who was behaving inappropriately. I would be really upset if this was going on with an employee of mine and no one told me. For sure, I would want to know because that's the only way to fix the problem. (Not to mention that in this case there could be serious legal ramifications for them if they allow it to continue.)

So my advice is to cut all ties with her, and report what happened. Good luck with your job search! It sounds as though you're off to a good start, and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that you find a job that you love.

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

@Frosted Cake wrote:
@dooBdoo wrote:

@jubilant, "Blackmail" is exactly the word I was thinking about after I posted and left the thread. Just based on what @Frosted Cake has told us, or as far as she's aware, this person sounds like she's using her position to coerce people into adopting her personal faith.

Hi dooBdoo:
I am unfamiliar with ministries and how they work. This might sound naive, but what benefits does she have for wanting to make me a member of her church? Do they pay people for bringing in a new person? At one point, she e-mailed me that her mother is a "faith counselor" at her church and she wanted me to give her a call during my frustration. I wonder if her mother would be rewarded somehow for bringing in a new member? This is all new to me. I've never had to deal with this kind of thing in all my years.

No, I don't think they "pay" people for recruiting new members. I think some fanatics believe everyone else has to "be saved" like them. It's a very weird situation.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Big Sister wrote:
@Frosted Cake wrote:
@dooBdoo wrote:

@jubilant, "Blackmail" is exactly the word I was thinking about after I posted and left the thread. Just based on what @Frosted Cake has told us, or as far as she's aware, this person sounds like she's using her position to coerce people into adopting her personal faith.

Hi dooBdoo:
I am unfamiliar with ministries and how they work. This might sound naive, but what benefits does she have for wanting to make me a member of her church? Do they pay people for bringing in a new person? At one point, she e-mailed me that her mother is a "faith counselor" at her church and she wanted me to give her a call during my frustration. I wonder if her mother would be rewarded somehow for bringing in a new member? This is all new to me. I've never had to deal with this kind of thing in all my years.
No, I don't think they "pay" people for recruiting new members. I think some fanatics believe everyone else has to "be saved" like them. It's a very weird situation.

I agree. Religion is a very personal thing, and this woman was way too pushy about it. She may think she does the world a favor by trying to "save" everyone, but it really shows little respect for the beliefs of others. And it's pompous of her to think that her religion is the only one with any value.

I think it's like a personal victory for people like her if they can convince someone to believe the way that they do. They don't care if they're obnoxious or annoying or rude - They just push on because they're so sure they know better.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

It doesn't matter if she is a city/gov/county employee, what she did was unprofessional.

You said she used her "personal" email address to email you (on work time). Did she email you with the same email address you have on file with this work program?

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

Just a couple comments/questions.

Is this really a program funded with public funds? While I was out job searching I saw many times various church groups working in conjunction with local government. Perhaps this program is being funded through church funds.

Second, if you are happy with the advise you were getting, ask to work with someone else there. Perhaps someone else in the office can give you a different perspective.

Our local unemployment offices are wonderful resources when looking for a job. They will help with resume, interview techniques as well as leads to employeers who have openings. You do not have to be collecting unemployment to use these services.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

twinkies · ‎03-11-2010

Thank her for her help and go your way , you have a right to your own beliefs and faith , She is narrow minded and not really a friend to disreguard your beliefs , Keep looking and do not give up, and use your own faith to guide you , God is fair an dwill follow and help you , God helps those who help themselves , Your "friend " has a misguided thought process about what faith really is , Faith is individual to each of us.

cathy from ma

Frosted Cake · ‎02-01-2016

@missy1 wrote:
It doesn't matter if she is a city/gov/county employee, what she did was unprofessional.

You said she used her "personal" email address to email you (on work time). Did she email you with the same email address you have on file with this work program?

Great point, missy1.

She did e-mail me on my e-mail acct that is on my resume and on all my city applications. I think it speaks for itself that now that she knows I'm not pursuaded into coming to her church, she has no contact with me.