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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,036
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

I think it was rude of them, for they have to realize an 89 year old needs someone to drive her.  They probably invited her for the gift, figuring she wouldn’t attend and save them the cost of her meal.

 

I don’t like to think that of people, but....it sure seems that way.

 

Why not plan on visiting Mom that weekend and have a good visit...,go out for a nice lunch or movie.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,352
Registered: ‎07-10-2011

Re: Not Invited to Wedding

[ Edited ]

Why put your Mom in that position? It´s as if you are begging for an invite. That´s embarrassing.

 

At the same time, I could see the MOB saying that an invitation was sent but you didn´t RSVP. That´s always the excuse.

 

If I were you I would try to avoid talking to them before the wedding takes place

Honored Contributor
Posts: 24,872
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

@alicedee wrote:

I think it was rude of them, for they have to realize an 89 year old needs someone to drive her.  They probably invited her for the gift, figuring she wouldn’t attend and save them the cost of her meal.

 

I don’t like to think that of people, but....it sure seems that way.

 

Why not plan on visiting Mom that weekend and have a good visit...,go out for a nice lunch or movie.

 

 

They invited the OP's sister.  It's safe to assume they thought the 89 year old mother would go with her daughter.  They had no way of knowing the daughter would not be able to end.  


 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,240
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

The bride is not obligated to invite you. Look on the bright side you don't have to waste money on a gift and you don't have to dress up. Stay home, and use the money you save on a nice dinner.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,352
Registered: ‎07-10-2011

@CatsyCline, this is what will happen. You will finally get an invite so that you can take your Mom. What will you do??

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@CatsyCline wrote:

@Mz iMac wrote:

Just thinking out loud.....

Maybe the bride does not consider you "her friend to consider a wedding invite" but more of a casual friend of her mother.

 


No, i have known MOB since we were 9 and 10 . They came over every year froi Thanksgiving and we went to their apt at Christmas.  They lived in a different town and she was a year older.

 

She used to take my Mom shopping evry so often but no longer seems to have time


@CatsyCline And there you have it. You are a friend of the mother. She is not the one getting married. If you want to wish the new couple well, send a gift. You don’t need an invitation to send a gift.

*********************
Keepin' it real.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,403
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

@CatsyCline wrote:

The Bride (28) is the grandaughter of my Mother's friend of 60+ years.  Mother of Bride and I were always friendly, close in age but we live in different states and she has her own circle of friends. But we have even shared birthdays (we are within a couple of days) in the past.  And I had her and her daughter for dinner many times when staying w my Mom for her health issues.

 

My 89-yr old  mother and younger sister were invited and I was not. My sister does Facebook and they are FB friends but sis isnt going to attend because she cannot take off from work and with travel etc it woul be too costly.

 

Now today my Mom was saying she can't drive to the reception,( its too far and she should not be driving anyway).  So the MOB tells her she can take a shuttle over to the reception but the shuttle leaves the venue at midnite.

 

And i'm sitting here wondering why i was not invited!  we both could have attended the  reception. it takes a few hours for me to travel to Mom's so that would not be a hardship.

 

My mother won;t ask MOB why i was not invited. She already had received a Save the Date card back in January, and the formal invitation arrived a few months ago. 

 

Would you ask why or just let it go? it kind of nags at me. Our families spent hoildays together, practically every summer weekend at the beach as kids...

 

 


@CatsyCline 

If it were me, I'd contact the MOB and ask if it would be O.K. if you drive your mother (and give the reasons).  I might add something like "I know I wasn't invited" or not.  Only talk about the lack of invitation to ensure that you can drive your Mom.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,654
Registered: ‎09-12-2010

I see two issues: since you weren't invited to the wedding I'd let it go. The bride maybe doesn't know you well and she had the final say on the guest list. The big issue to me would be that the MOB suggested that your 89 year old mother should take a shuttle to the reception. And then what? How is she supposed to get home after the reception? Where would the shuttle drop her off? I don't know any women (or men) that age who should be driving after midnight. It sounds like your mother can handle the wedding but the reception doesn't sound doable if transportation is an issue. Good luck to both of you.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,231
Registered: ‎01-02-2015

They probably just had to start cutting the guest list somewhere ....

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,989
Registered: ‎07-01-2012

Re: Not Invited to Wedding

[ Edited ]

Let it go, you were not invited!  You do not ask why.

 

If it nags at you that much you could lie.  Your sister can not attend and your mother is frail.  You can politely ask if they would consider having you step in for your sister out of concern for your mother because she can not drive and the shuffle bus isn't her thing. 

 

Do ask not for an invite just express concern for your mother because she would really like to attend the event and considering her health issues would they mind.

 

You will be a snake, but you may get what you want, a seat at the table..

 

I am assuming the invite response was yes for your mom and yes for you sister and then your sister pulled out.

 

I think your mother should not attend and you should really let it go.