Among Friends

[drizzellla]

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@Lilysmom wrote:

@drizzellla , I got my winter tires off and my oil changed this week.  Dropped car off.  Left keys under mat,  work complete, car wiped down with disinfectant, bill paid by etransfer.  No contact at all.  It can be done.  LM

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Lilysmom - that is why I was so excitied when they said it would be no problem to get my car inspected. They figured out a way to cover all the bases and still move forward.

So many appointments and scans have been pushed into May. It makes me happy that I can get something done. Plus keep a local shop busy too.

[RedTop]

One of the things I have always been so thankful for is that my mental strength came from my dads farm family.   Thru them I learned to deal with whatever happens, period.  

There was no whining, no crying, no running; whatever happened, my family found a way to deal with it, and move on.   I never doubt my strength in standing up to whatever shows up on my doorstep.   

[KingstonsMom]

In a time like this, I have to refer to my siggy below:

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

[Greeneyedlady21]

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@RedTop wrote:

One of the things I have always been so thankful for is that my mental strength came from my dads farm family.   Thru them I learned to deal with whatever happens, period.  

There was no whining, no crying, no running; whatever happened, my family found a way to deal with it, and move on.   I never doubt my strength in standing up to whatever shows up on my doorstep.   

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That's wonderful for you. But mental health issues are not about "whining crying or running". They are legitimate health issues related to life circumstances and chemical imbalance. And some people have toxic, dysfunctional families.

You can't toughen yourself out of depression or anxiety. I know, because I tried to do that. The last five years I've been through the stress and pain of one situation I don't want to talk about here that was extremely painful, then the serious illness of my Mom who was also my best friend. Thinking after all she made it through that things were getting better, only to find out she had terminal cancer. My Dad having to go into a facility. Indescribable pain caused by my siblings to me during all of this.

After my Mom's death I finally got the help I needed and went to therapy and went on medication. It has saved my life. 

I wish after this that people would have more empathy and understanding for people with mental health issues. And not make it worse with harmful, hurtful comments.

For me dealing with this pandemic is yet another awful thing in the last five years of my life. I'm hoping my therapy and medication will help me through. Yes in the last five years I have had times of feeling I no longer wanted to go on. That doesn't make me weak or a whiner. I'm only human. The love I had with my Mom keeps me going too.

[suzyQ3]

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@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:

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@RedTop wrote:

One of the things I have always been so thankful for is that my mental strength came from my dads farm family.   Thru them I learned to deal with whatever happens, period.  

There was no whining, no crying, no running; whatever happened, my family found a way to deal with it, and move on.   I never doubt my strength in standing up to whatever shows up on my doorstep.   

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That's wonderful for you. But mental health issues are not about "whining crying or running". They are legitimate health issues related to life circumstances and chemical imbalance. And some people have toxic, dysfunctional families.

You can't toughen yourself out of depression or anxiety. I know, because I tried to do that. The last five years I've been through the stress and pain of one situation I don't want to talk about here that was extremely painful, then the serious illness of my Mom who was also my best friend. Thinking after all she made it through that things were getting better, only to find out she had terminal cancer. My Dad having to go into a facility. Indescribable pain caused by my siblings to me during all of this.

After my Mom's death I finally got the help I needed and went to therapy and went on medication. It has saved my life. 

I wish after this that people would have more empathy and understanding for people with mental health issues. And not make it worse with harmful, hurtful comments.

For me dealing with this pandemic is yet another awful thing in the last five years of my life. I'm hoping my therapy and medication will help me through. Yes in the last five years I have had times of feeling I no longer wanted to go on. That doesn't make me weak or a whiner. I'm only human. The love I had with my Mom keeps me going too.

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Thank you, @Greeneyedlady21. This was a much-needed response.

[Diamonds22]

I am really worried as the original poster hasn't responded since she posted. There are so many ideas that has been posted & hope she will come back with an update.

[Vivian]

My soon-to-be 98 year old mother has always been a worrier. This pandemic has been dreadful for her. She has a 24/7 aide who lives with her but she is unable to help my mother calm down. I speak to my mother several times a day and try to set her straight but she worries about her children, her grandchildren, and her great grandchildren. My grandson's fiancée is a nurse currently working at the U of MD medical center in triage. We are all worried about her but my mother is beside herself. Anti-anxiety meds are contraindicated for the very elderly. I just hope this pandemic doesn't claim another victim.

[wismiss]

lmtep:  Today is a new day and I pray that you are doing better.  Hang in there.  This is a stressful time and you need to take care of yourself.  There have been a lot of good suggestions here about how to combat this feeling you are experiencing.  And, that is what it is------a combat with darkness and sadness.  I have thought of you often since reading your post.  Please reach out to someone---doctor, friend, relative, or us here.  You are not alone.

When is rains, look for rainbows.  When is it dark, look for stars.

[Snoopp]

@VivianI told my mother to turn off all new reports and not watch any (she is still tempted but it gets her upset so why do it).  I asked her to avoid all of that reporting for at least a week and to only pick up her mail 1x per week.  If people step away from the news, I think it can be a tremendous help.  Hope your mother calms down.  

[dooBdoo]

            Hey, there, (((@rms1954))).  The outpouring of love and concern here is real and tangible.   We have a lovely bunch of posters, like a brilliant burst of spring flowers, radiating warmth and beauty and genuine support for you.    I want to tell you I care about you and I'll keep an eye out for your posts in case you'll allow us to be listening ears, caring hearts, and supportive friends.   We will do our best, because we do care.

​            I've dealt with chronic, disabling depression for years.   It can be daunting, and a fierce opponent, dangerous, and it can chip away at us and wear us down in ways those who haven't experienced it might not understand fully and completely.   I don't know the details of your situation, so I can't be more specific -- but there are good resources online, and helpful books, websites, facebook pages and groups, videos, daily affirmation sources.   

            There are some older Q Community threads specifically addressing how we deal with depression, anxiety, and worry, and those might be of use.   (I hope no one bumps up any of them, however, since that might cause them to be deleted.)

            What works for some of us might not always work for others, but it's worth it to keep trying.    You are worth it.   Please keep trying.   One of the ironies of depression often is that at the very time we really need to be able to concentrate, read, listen, or process thoughts, we cannot.   It's as if we're in a thick fog that's disrupting our senses and blocking out all the tools we need in order to heal and come out on the other side.   Our "bootstraps" are broken.

            I said on another thread that we are connected by heartstrings, and those heartstrings are powerful and strong.   Please grab onto them, and please know you have real friends here.❤️