Among Friends

[QVCkitty1]

Think about it, no one is obligated to give anyone a gift. The giver took the time to choose an appropriate gift, ( usually something the couple selected ) ,  paid for the gift and then arranged for it to be delivered. We find time to do the things we want to do, it has nothing to do with age or education. If someone does us a kindness, we thank them, if we don't we are ignorant. 

[GenXmuse]

I don't even keep track if people "properly" thanked me. Why harbor resentment of something that's out of your control?

[haddon9]

This is a little bit different but somewhat similar....I host a family Christmas dinner almost every year.  From the time my nephews were young they and my kids would all get together for the holiday. 

Now they are all grown up and two of them are married....they are all in their early to mid 30s.  They still come to my house.  Once upon a time they didn't have to bring anything because they were children and their mom (my sister in law) would bring gifts, a dessert & bottle of wine.  Since they never used to bring anything they are still in the frame of mind that their mom is bringing things and they don't need to.

I can't help but wonder how could anyone come to someone's home for a nice dinner...and on Christmas no less empty handed?  ...and they all have good paying jobs with advanced degrees...you'd think they would know better.

[skatting44]

 Have they been on a Honey Moon all this time ??   I'd give her a call and just  be sincere in thanking her for the invitation. I'd further the discussion    by asking if the gift was to her liking or did I need to  give her a gift receipt to exchange it.  You'd be surprised that  a generation has been raised by babysitters or day care and  no contact with family to teach them  manners or most importantly to be Grateful for other's generosity to them . Those gift registries , well I think often times  they just click on anything to make for a big wish list. Maybe they haven't even unpacked any gifts  or are procrastinating .  After my daughters wedding & baby shower, I sat down with her  and addressed all the envelops so she'd  get those thank you cards  filled out with personal thank you of each gift .  Parents need to show good examples  no matter how old your children are .

[sidsmom]

My thoughts?

I hope the couple is starting their life together with the

same happiness you have felt in your life. 

#HalfFullLife

[Travone]

When my neice was a teenager she would never send me a thank you note, or text, phone call or email.  I would have taken a thank you in any form.  I know she was getting the gifts because I would give them to my sister-in-law. 

The following Christmas I gave her a box of thank you notes and a nice pen.  She got the message.....have been getting thank you notes ever since.

[RetRN]

I learned it is never a good idea to say anything negative about young people on these boards. Some posters really get bent out of shape over it. 

Trust me, I've gotten some mighty mean and nasty responses. 

No thank you once and no gift ever again in my book and I'm sticking to it. 

[iwrite]

first, i want to say that i am sorry that you were treated this way.

it's tacky and disrespectful. i say keep your money from now on, that you would spend on that couple and buy you and your husband a gift instead. people that care, will MAKE the time to do things that are important to them.

in a post in another thread, yesterday, i wrote a comment about these days, so many people thinking that they are entitled. your post is a perfect example of what i was talking about.

[NicksmomESQ]

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@haddon9 wrote:

This is a little bit different but somewhat similar....I host a family Christmas dinner almost every year.  From the time my nephews were young they and my kids would all get together for the holiday. 

Now they are all grown up and two of them are married....they are all in their early to mid 30s.  They still come to my house.  Once upon a time they didn't have to bring anything because they were children and their mom (my sister in law) would bring gifts, a dessert & bottle of wine.  Since they never used to bring anything they are still in the frame of mind that their mom is bringing things and they don't need to.

I can't help but wonder how could anyone come to someone's home for a nice dinner...and on Christmas no less empty handed?  ...and they all have good paying jobs with advanced degrees...you'd think they would know better.

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 @haddon9   I totally get what your saying about your nephews coming to Christmas dinner empty handed.

   We spend a few holidays a year with friends. When my son was little we brought the wine,dessert etc . on behalf of the family.Since becoming an adult & now having a fiancé when we go over there I always remind him to pick up something on his own.I would be mortified if he walked in empty handed.

[geezerette]

You're not alone.

Two of my great-nephews got married this past summer.  One in June and one in August.  Both live in another state.  I sent a very generous check to both.  My sister also sent checks to both.  Neither of us has received an acknowledgment of any kind as of yet.

I think it depends on how they were raised.  The grandmother of these two young men (a different sister) never taught her children as they were growing up that they should send thank-you notes.  Consequently, they never did.  And they never taught their own children.

On the other hand, my nieces that were taught to acknowledge gifts taught their children to do so and I always receive thank-your from them all.

In the day of Facebook and email, I don't expect a handwritten note anymore.  But to not even take half a minute to say, "I got your gift. Thank you.", and then click to send it off (especially when I know they spend time on whatever device of their choice), is incredible.  

If they don't value my money enough to even acknowledge it, that's fine.  I do.  And so from now on, I'll be keeping it.