No shows at a wedding, should we offer to pay? - Page 2

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

Wow, what a nice thought.

When my daughter got married, there were more " no shows" than I thought would be possible.

There was only two people who didn't show up that we invited. They called the night before to explain,,,,the husband had a heart attack and his wife was with him at the hospital.

On the groom's side, there were a lot. It seems there was a football play off game on the same day. These people knew ahead of time, but did not call and let me know. I could have changed the count with the venue. I was mad as hello.

It cost me more than $3000 for "no shows."

You might want to see to see how many no shows there are before you make an offer. I am sure that everything is paid for at this time or will be before the wedding day.

What you are thinking is very nice, but not necessary. I wish my daughter had you for a mother-in-law. Her In-laws are super cheap and contributed nothing to the wedding, but told me what type of food, drink, that they expected.

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

Answering as someone who did respond YES to a wedding and then could not go I felt responsible to pay for my dinner because I was a no show. I contacted the family, explained my circumstance, and sent a check for the meal.

dawg lover · ‎03-15-2010

@chiclets wrote:
Answering as someone who did respond YES to a wedding and then could not go I felt responsible to pay for my dinner because I was a no show. I contacted the family, explained my circumstance, and sent a check for the meal.

You are a classy person, @chiclets.

Ibby114 · ‎03-10-2010

@chiclets wrote:
Answering as someone who did respond YES to a wedding and then could not go I felt responsible to pay for my dinner because I was a no show. I contacted the family, explained my circumstance, and sent a check for the meal.

@chiclets a table of my ex's relatives were no shows at our wedding. We received a wedding gift a few days later from the 'patriach' - a check that pretty much covered their costs.

Ever since then, when I need to give a final count, I low ball the number! Catering facilities are always happy to charge you for an extra plate(s), if need be. But crediting you for the no shows? It won't happen!

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

Are you expecting many no-shows? If you can afford it, it would be nice to offer to pay for their meal, but I don't think it is required. Just hate when people rsvp they are coming and then don't show!

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@lovesrecess wrote:
Are you expecting many no-shows? If you can afford it, it would be nice to offer to pay for their meal, but I don't think it is required. Just hate when people rsvp they are coming and then don't show!

@lovesrecess We could have one or two no-shows. At $150 per person it adds up, I don't want them to get stuck.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@chiclets That was very nice of you to send a check.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Carmie wrote:
Wow, what a nice thought.

When my daughter got married, there were more " no shows" than I thought would be possible.

There was only two people who didn't show up that we invited. They called the night before to explain,,,,the husband had a heart attack and his wife was with him at the hospital.

On the groom's side, there were a lot. It seems there was a football play off game on the same day. These people knew ahead of time, but did not call and let me know. I could have changed the count with the venue. I was mad as hello.

It cost me more than $3000 for "no shows."

You might want to see to see how many no shows there are before you make an offer. I am sure that everything is paid for at this time or will be before the wedding day.

What you are thinking is very nice, but not necessary. I wish my daughter had you for a mother-in-law. Her In-laws are super cheap and contributed nothing to the wedding, but told me what type of food, drink, that they expected.

@Carmie That is awful that you had to pay so much money for nothing. I think I would have to ask for those meals to go.......just kidding. So sorry that happened to you.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@dawg lover wrote:
We hosted my daughter's wedding 2 years ago. We had to give a final number to the caterer a week before the wedding. When we gave that final number, we took off several people who had RSVPed "yes", but we still doubted they would come, due to poor health. To our surprise, those people came, but there were others who did not, for various reasons. One couple who was a "friend" of the groom's family told them that they "just didn't feel like getting dressed up that day." (They never gave a gift either.) However, we were surprised to see that several young people brought an uninvited date with them to the wedding. We had 3 wedding crashers! So, it all worked out; we had enough seats and plenty of food for everyone. BTW, I would have loved if the groom's family had offered to pay for their no-shows, and I certainly would have taken them up on it! They never offered to pay for anything and took terrible advantage of us.

@dawg lover What a story!! Wedding crashers, uninvited dates and people who didn't feel like getting dressed up.....crazy. My brother just got married and two different people came and never gave a gift.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@scatcat wrote:
Wouldn’t the people who don’t show up still send a gift?

@scatcat I just posted that my brother had two different people show up at his wedding with no gifts. One even told him he didn't have the money for a gift but he wanted to come.