Re: No one to talk too.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

I also think the poster NEEDS someone to go w/her at the lawyers.

My heart breaks when I read her posting and it brings back a lot of sad memories.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@manny2 wrote:
@elated wrote:
@RedTop wrote:
@Lostandscared
Being in your 60's makes you realize you have more days behind you than you have in front of you. You've given 35 years of your life to a husband who is always looking at other women. You do not trust your husband! Your post is short but very clear, and the words I read say you are not happy.

FIX IT! Let him find that greener grass, and you find your happiness! We all have a purpose to our lives and you were never meant to take this type of disrespect from your husband. Seek legal advice to protect what's yours and start living!
Thank you for giving us more insight into her situation.
After you posted, I went back to 11/3/2019 and found this information:

I am in my early 60s. I have only done part time store work all my life. I am thinking of taking a 3 to 6 month class in phlebotomy. I will need some kind of skill for myself in the near future. Do you think i am too old, or may not get hired? Thanks for any replies.

I think this is why she has stayed all these years..I wish people were honest and forthcoming why they have stayed.

She can post what wants to share. She does not need any body telling her she didn’t do anything about her life. She doesn’t need any poster digging up old posts.

@manny2 I agree with you. I do not see where she was dishonest and not forthcoming.

All I saw was that she didn't follow through with that course.

I cannot imagine wading through five years of posts trying to find something to bring her down.

Her decisions are hers and hers alone.

OP has been given good advice FOR TODAY, right here, right now.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

@elated wrote:
@manny2 wrote:
@elated wrote:
@RedTop wrote:
@Lostandscared
Being in your 60's makes you realize you have more days behind you than you have in front of you. You've given 35 years of your life to a husband who is always looking at other women. You do not trust your husband! Your post is short but very clear, and the words I read say you are not happy.

FIX IT! Let him find that greener grass, and you find your happiness! We all have a purpose to our lives and you were never meant to take this type of disrespect from your husband. Seek legal advice to protect what's yours and start living!
Thank you for giving us more insight into her situation.
After you posted, I went back to 11/3/2019 and found this information:

I am in my early 60s. I have only done part time store work all my life. I am thinking of taking a 3 to 6 month class in phlebotomy. I will need some kind of skill for myself in the near future. Do you think i am too old, or may not get hired? Thanks for any replies.

I think this is why she has stayed all these years..I wish people were honest and forthcoming why they have stayed.

She can post what wants to share. She does not need any body telling her she didn’t do anything about her life. She doesn’t need any poster digging up old posts.
I don't know if you understand that she already shared that information about her situation. You can't help someone that refuses to acknowledge the truth. I call it research nothing more.

I understand. You don’t. There is no reason to dig up old posts. You have no idea what was going on in her life during that time. You have no idea what her life experiences are. Why she opted to stay in a relationship like this.

She is here to share what she is feeling in this moment with this situation.

No research needed.

Lostandscared · ‎02-05-2011

@RedTop wrote:
@Lostandscared
This recent post sounded very familiar, and something I've replied to in the past, so I checked your posting history and found your post titled "quick question, dated 8-2-2019".

You've been dealing with this disrespectful man for nearly half your life and have apparently done nothing to save yourself or protect your assets. What are you waiting for? Several of us who replied to you in 2019 have given the same advice for a 2nd time. Why have you not stood up and shown this man your strong side? You do have one; show him!

Yes, my only explanation is I have been emotionally frozen. In the past few years I have dealt with a home fire, displaying us for 6 months, the death of my best friend of over 60 years who I saw die from A LS. The death of 2 of my beloved dogs, and estrangement from my son for a year due to family issues. It has been one thing after another and I couldn't handle anything more. I have been pulling myself out of a hole and just starting to live.

I must add the only thing that helped was watching QVC. It was like a comfort blanket, and watching my favorite hosts made me feel safe and life was ok.

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

If it is all too overwhelming, can you start with the "Just for Today" method?

Just for Today I will envision where I would like to live. Just for Today I would like to not listen to his remarks. Just for Today I would....

Then build on your baby steps.

sabatini · ‎06-29-2015

@Lostandscared, I totally understand being emotionally frozen, though you don't have to justify yourself to anyone.

What I can tell you is that the future doesn't have to be terrifying, but freeing.

Try to take that 1st step. Do you know anyone who's used a divorce lawyer? If so, find out the name and call. Don't tell your husband.

Right now you're holding on to your current life w/ 10 fingers & toes. Close your eyes and just let go. There's a ledge beneath that you're unable to see.

Ultimately, the family home might have to be sold, but SO WHAT? It's just a house, & nothing more. You can use your half of the assets to rent a darling apartment or little home, collect social security and work a part time job to supplement.

You'll be fine!

Good luck!

ETA: He'll have to pay spousal support & keep you on his insurance.

Muddling through...

Maizie Green · ‎10-01-2024

@GoneButNotForgotten wrote:
CONSULT AN ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!

Yes!

Start gathering documents now. Find every financial account and make copies. Get a bank box and store all copies there.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@Lostandscared

When I saw this recent post, I knew instantly I had replied to you once before, thus my purpose in looking back. My heart goes out to you, and I sincerely wish you the very best in reaching a point where you are truly happy with your life. Only you can make that happen!

I get the feeling you watch your husband go off to work every morning, then wait on pins and needles for fear he won't come back home to you. You seem so ready to believe this office employee is ready and waiting to grab your husband, when there's an equal chance he's the last thing she wants in her life! He's telling you she understands him, but maybe that's simply what he wants to believe. What she might well understand is he's simply a coworker she talks to at work; an older, married man, looking for attention. Many of us who worked in an office environment knew a few of those and we noticed how their attitude at work improved, or they started paying more attention to their appearance. In men over 60, it's pretty pathetic.

Like others here, I urge you you to seek legal advice. If you're already 65, you're probably getting Social Security thru him; if you divorce, you will draw a bigger monthly check thru him. It's not like you will be destitute if you get a divorce. If you are truly as unhappy as I think you are, free yourself and start living life on your terms!