Re: New baby in the family....

ccassaday · ‎10-21-2010

@conniekl wrote:
I'm in the same situation as you. I have 2 grandsons that I babysat for 3 years. Then my daughter-in -law stopped working to stay home. Now she had a 3rd child - a girl born in June. We were allowed over to their house July 4th for about 1 hour. Held the baby for maybe 2 minutes. Had lots of fun playing with grandsons. Daughter - in law seems to rule everything that has to do with their kids.The problem started when I was babysitting. The oldest grandson (then 2 years old ) decided he didn't want to go home every day when she came to pick him up. Things got so bad that on his birthday she came to pick him up . He hid behind sofa and she screamed "What do you want to do live here!!!!" It was just alwful. Then we decided she would go home and call when I should bring the kids home. Now my 2 grandsons are 3 and 5 and keep asking when they can come over. They have been over 1 time this summer and they live 15 minutes away. They fast he opened the treatow by our house to go to Sunday dinner at her parents house. She has yelled at me for taking too many napkins to clean her child, also playing with grandchildren. Been told I can only play puzzles or legos. It's very stressful and hard. I did hold the baby for 20 minutes last month. I still have all their toys here just in case they can come over. I stopped working to babysit and loved it so much. Last week we were allowed to stop over with a treat because the 3 year old had stitches. We got ice cream sandwiches. The 3 year old was holding it and mom took it out of his hand "You cant have it ". Then the 5 year old had his in his mouth, my son - his father was laughing how fast he opened it. Well mom took it right out of his mouth !!!

That is terrible. How close are you to your son? Maybe it's time for a chat with just him. In my opinion some of this behavior by your DIL is abuse.

ccassaday · ‎10-21-2010

My cousin came home with her new baby on the day of my dad's retirement party. After everyone left my sisters and mom boxed up all kinds of leftovers and asked if they could come over. She appreciated all the food. I can't picture having family that is so turned off by someone wanting to coming over to see the new baby.

Perkup · ‎03-09-2010

@ccassaday wrote:
Why not cook her a meal and call her to see if you can bring it over. New parents always appreciate a good meal after getting home from the hospital.

I think better still to call and say you'd like to make a meal and bring it over. Ask when she would like you to do that. If you cook in advance, you may seem like you're pushing to get there.

conniekl · ‎06-28-2011

My husband and I were very close to our son. My son and I had so much fun . As he got older we worked on his cars together. We went to classic car shows as a family. He showed me the diamond ring he was giving to his now wife before he gave it to her. Then the kids came along. I think my son just doesn't want to have any problems with her. It makes me sick to see whats happening. This 3rd child was only planned by her. When they told us she was pregnant again, my son clearly said he was planning a vasectomy, but was busy he hadn't done it yet. She said "my family isn't complete until there is 3 children" The 2 boys were very planned. The baby girl is beautiful and will be loved as much as her brothers. Because they need a big car for the car seats , booster seats, my son had to give her his really nice car and he now drives her junker. She is home all day and he does grocery shopping and cooks dinner every night. He bakes cookies and makes special character birthday cakes. Things were going to be tight finacially with 2 kids. Now they have 3 and she wants a new car and 4 bedroom house and not work. She has a masters degree and so does my son. I'm afraid if I say anything, I won't get to see the grandchildren ever again. I can't take that chance. These kids are everything to me.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@conniekl....yes, you are in a difficult situation --so sorry for that. It sounds like your son does not have a voice in the marriage, only he can fix that and I suggest saying nothing, it will come back and bite you.

This granddaughter (that just had the baby) is a lovely girl and her husband is nice as well but being around them is awkward, they really don't know how to carry on a conversation or keep it going, so I am generally left to keep the conversation moving, very stressful.

Without going into to much detail her mom is currently not in the picture... We had a conversation mid July we asked her (granddaughter) to help her grandpa and I out with a situation with her mom, she declined and there has been no contact with her since, except a text and photo when baby arrived.

We did not have cross words at all but I am thinking she is feeling guilty for not helping us out. Yes, she was pregnant at the time but there was no work required on her part, we just needed a favor....we have decided to wait for the invite to see new baby, which is killing me because she knows darn well that I am biting at the bit to see the new arrival.....

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@Mom2Dogs wrote:
Thanks all and I made a ERROR on the date, baby was born 8-8-17...my mistake.

Okay but that doesn't change anything. The baby is just 2 weeks old. But surely by now, you have called them to express your joy and congratulate them on the baby. If you haven't done that yet, you should.

ladyroxanne · ‎03-09-2010

congratulations @Mom2Dogs

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@ccassaday wrote:
My cousin came home with her new baby on the day of my dad's retirement party. After everyone left my sisters and mom boxed up all kinds of leftovers and asked if they could come over. She appreciated all the food. I can't picture having family that is so turned off by someone wanting to coming over to see the new baby.

That's the thing, every family isn't the same. Every couple isn't the same. There is no right or wrong in these situations and since we all know our families, we generally know how these things go. That first week, neither of my girls wanted guests descending on them. They wanted me and each other but we aren't "guests" to each other. Everyone who wanted to see the babies that first week or so knew enough to check out their FB pages. The next week they were feeling better and when close friends began to come by for a peek at the baby and they did indeed appreciate the casseroles and baked goods that people brought.

ccassaday · ‎10-21-2010

@Perkup wrote:
@ccassaday wrote:
Why not cook her a meal and call her to see if you can bring it over. New parents always appreciate a good meal after getting home from the hospital.
I think better still to call and say you'd like to make a meal and bring it over. Ask when she would like you to do that. If you cook in advance, you may seem like you're pushing to get there.

Lol. I said to call and ask if she could bring it over. No where did I say just to show up.