Re: Nephew-skinny-bullying

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

@sarahpanda wrote:
My heart breaks for my 12 year old nephew. He's healthy except for being very thin, a trait that he inherited from his dad. He probably weights 70 pounds. The doctor said he's just going to be a thin person...but he is very troubled by the 'bullying' and joking that the other kids do at school about his size. I'm sharing this because it keeps me from crying...at least for now.

My daughter was teased for being "skinny", specifically her legs. She was born very premature weighing only 1.7 lbs. She'll always be on the petite size and she is "skinny" just like my husband's side of the family. Kids as school would call her chicken legs and keep talking about how skinny they are. It's not the only time she's been picked on. She was also being bullied by a girl. I must give kudos to the school in handling that, they were right on it. It broke my heart for her to go through that. Your Mom instincts kick in and you go into protective mode. I try to teach my daughter to be strong and to love herself inside and out and that it doesn't matter what other people say or think. But also to go forward, move on, with love and not hate.

Mj12 · ‎03-09-2010

O/T - someone posted wondering if the obnoxious kids who do this will regret it one day. I doubt it - all you need to do is look at the fashion forum on a thread about Kate Middleton or Celine Dion, we get a lot of the usual, ignorant "she needs to eat a sandwich!" and "poster child for anorexia!" posts. Hopefully some of the kids WILL grow up and regret this behavior, the rest - no, they continue it.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

Carmie: You think you are so smart!

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@magicmoodz wrote:
In this day and age it is beyond my realm of comprhension to suggest a 12 year old boy who is being bullied needs to toughen up.

I agree completely. There are kids younger than 12 attempting suicide or committing suicide because of verbal or physical bullying. Bullying needs to stop, the focus needs to be on that. Not on the accusation that their victims aren't toughened up sufficiently. Adults should be setting the example too.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

Starliteshine · ‎10-12-2014

@NEvans2 wrote:
@Mz iMac I have to respectfully disagree with you. It's no longer "teasing" when it goes on for a long period of time. Just because it's verbal, instead of physical, doesn't make it hurt any less. Think of all the poor kids who are constantly harassed online. They get to the point where they can't stand it anymore and commit suicide. No physical contact whatsoever. I would definitely call that bullying.

@NEvans2 You are so right. I went to the funeral of a 17 year old high schooler who hung himself because he was cyberbullied. It's very real, folks.

My own child was also a victim and I thank God that I didn't have to plan a funeral. My child endured the abuse and said without faith, never would have got through the emotional abuse. Words hurt AND words kill. Bullying is an epidemic. One thing I found is it starts at home. Those who bully are usually raised by bullies in some form or another.

Jinlei · ‎07-25-2010

My heart goes out to your nephew. I was bullied all through grade school because I was heavy. Called names and laughed at. Unfortunately, whether it be kids or adults that make comments, they do not realize how much it hurts a person. Tell your nephew to hang in there. Some people are just ignorant.

doxie1 · ‎03-09-2010

@sarahpanda

It is hard for a child that age to understand that the day will come that they will be seen for their strengths.

I have dealt with bullies in school for too many years. As a teacher I say to use it to plan and not spend time crying over it. Your grandson needs to realize what his strengths are.

I had one vertically challenged thin student that was called names referring to his size. We got him in a karate program and he really did well and earned many belts. We had the karate place come and show what some of their students could do. When the students saw what he was capable of the name calling stopped.

One bully had a lot of baggage and we had worked with him on his isssues. We thought he was doing well when a new student with a traumatic brain injury joined the class.He targeted that child. We went through all the steps including suspending him and he still did it. I talked with the parents to try something different and they agreed to try it. The bully could only sit by this student during lunch and that was the only person he could talk to. I sat at the same table. The student that had been bullied could sit elsewhere if he wanted.The first day I thought I had lost my mind but stayed the course. By the end of the first week the conversation started on a low level. The second week they were having more conversations and the bully was ignoring him outside of the lunch time. That was ok. The end of the third week and the bully was offering him some of his lunch. The fourth week they could sit whereever they wanted. They chose to stay at the same table. They started talking during class without the teasing.

I say this because there is usually a reason that someone does this and if you can figure it out it helps. This bully was intimidated by the students handicap. Sometimes people pick on someone that is different.

I would hope that your school would work on this without you having to be too vocal. When parents were real vocal it was harder to stop it sometimes. As a parent you do not want it to happpen once but it seems like the reality is that it will happen at some point.

The other thing that was maddening was when you addressed it and the children said "I am just joking".

Keep the diaglogue going with your grandson.

doxie

Mindy D · ‎05-23-2010

@sarahpanda wrote:
My heart breaks for my 12 year old nephew. He's healthy except for being very thin, a trait that he inherited from his dad. He probably weights 70 pounds. The doctor said he's just going to be a thin person...but he is very troubled by the 'bullying' and joking that the other kids do at school about his size. I'm sharing this because it keeps me from crying...at least for now.

I suggest a visit with an endocrinologist.