Among Friends

[this is my nic]

It is hard to let a long term relationship go. I'm sorry you had to do that, but I guess some relationships aren't meant to last a lifetime.  She's still my cousin, but I have no idea what's going on in her life and vice versa.  We don't even exchange Christmas cards, Obviously, that was a decision we both made. 

BTW, the folks who responded about it being hard to meet in a foreign country, my idea was if we happened to be in the same place at the same time, it would have been fun to see each other.  If our plans didn't mesh, no problem! 

My thought was "wouldn't it be fun if?"  Not, "we should get together".   After sending a message that explained all that and not getting a response is what really bothered me. 

Oh, well, life goes on and I guess our relationship wasn't as special as I thought.

[this is my nic]

Thanks NycVixen! 

Your opinion is basically what I took away from this experience.  If a friend or relative made that proposition to me I'd have taken them up on it in a heart beat.  In fact, when we go to Italy, we visit family who are distant cousins!   Family is very important to me, friendship too.

[lulu2]

I understand that she did not want share time on this special trip with anyone but her husband.

What I do not understand is why there has never been another word between the 2 of you.

If it were me and this were my cousin, I'd write a letter and tell her how I feel.  Most people would probably just go on with life, without expressing their feelings.

[Himi lover]

Sounds to me like you're better off without her. You don't need to try to remain close just because she's your cousin. You were being very nice. People like her pull me down, and I've learned to walk away.

[gmkb]

Several years is several years too long to hang onto hurts. When we hang onto things, it gives the other person a lot of power over us. Move on, send a Christmas card, and enjoy your life.

[AnikaBrodie]

di-mc -- Life is too short.  Give her a call or email or snail mail her, perhaps with a "thinking of you" card with handwritten sentiments.  As you said, it's been several years since you had any contact and it's long past time to put a stop to that!  Don't allow the hurt to fester any longer.  Who knows, she may be waiting for that call or mail.  In humility, you can be the first to break the cycle of silence.

I hope things work out well for both of you and that you can once again be friends.  Family (including cousins) is so important.

[surfk]

(deleted by user)

[goodstuff]

All of this because a family member wanted to be alone with her husband on an anniversary trip?  And opted not to get into further email exchanges about a question she had already answered?

Sorry, but OP is in the wrong on this one.  The cousin simply stated what she wanted to do, well within her rights.  She did nothing objectionable.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

Am I missing something?  This happened several years ago and the OP is still dwelling on it?  If that's the case, it's time to get over it.  It's had way too much interference in your life and bothering you a lot more than it is your cousin.  If you can put it in your past and try to resume a relationship with her, do try, but don't go bending over backwards either.  If she's unresponsive, you'll know it's time to just move on.