Among Friends

[eddyandme]

Your husband is right.  Been there, done that (different circumstances) but some people are just selfish and petty.  Let her cook in her own stew -there's nothing you can do.

[Mominohio]

You can only have the relationship with people that they will allow you to have. 

She is getting some satisfaction out of not having one with you, and some satisfaction out of you continually trying to get her to. 

Stop it and stop it now, would be my advice. 

You have to ask yourself why you need to be liked by this person. It is normal that not everyone will like you and that you will not like everyone. Whatever it is that has her behaving this way is on her. But letting it bother you, and continually trying to win her over is not emotionally healthy, and it on you. 

I personally wouldn't giver her the satisfaction of seeing me grovel (in her eyes that is what it looks like, and that is giving her satisfaction). 

I'd make a point of never making eye contact with her. Don't avoid going past her, or change your routine, but simply look past her like she isn't there, don't gossip about her, simply act like she doesn't exist. 

It will make you feel better, because right now, you are frustrated and maybe hurt because you are a nice person and expect everyone to treat you fairly and kindly, the way you treat others. But not everyone is that mature. 

[CelticCrafter]

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@AuntG wrote:

A simple "good morning" is all you can give her. If she glares, that's the way it is. You tried!  Actually I ignore some neighbors because they are so OCD, it drives me crazy. I want to scream " there isn't enough Xanax on earth to cure you", but then I'd be the irrational one.

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@AuntG - We have one of those.  We ignored him until he started digging a hole in our yard to pull out HIS tree roots that were getting into his french drain.

[Annabellethecat66]

@Gayle2  I learned a long time ago that not everyone is going to like me and vice-versa.

You seem like a nice, likable person.  Consider it her loss and move on.

I do that with my neighbor.  We used to be best friends.  Then she decided she didn't want to be friends any longer.

Works for me....I have plenty of other friends.  She talks about everyone.  She tells everyone's business.  The way I look at it, if I don't talk to her, she doesn't know my business.  

That's what you need to do.  I understand.  It's hard to think there are people who don't like us, but it happens.

You have us....You have lots of other friends....accept it and move on...

[Sooner]

Just ignore her as she ignores you.  It obvioiusly makes her and you upset when you try to engage her, so why do it?  It just upsets both of you.  Walk on by and forget about it.  Let it go. 

[queendiva]

Can't change her, don't change you.

Stop worrying so much about why one person seems to dislike you. Must you be liked by the entire world? Good luck with that. Listen to Hubby.

BTW: that's how my sister treats me. I'm okay with someone not diggin 'me. To be expected in the adult world.

[Love my grandkids]

@Gayle2 I'm with your DH. Forget it. The rest of your neighbors are nice so why waste time worrying about someone who obviously wants nothing to do with you for her own reasons.

Life's too short. If she's still mad about something that happened 3 years ago, let her stew in her own juice.

Please don't waste your time and energy trying to engage her. It won't happen

[stevieb]

I think your husband has the right idea about letting it go. No matter how 'tight' the community, everyone is not going to like you. She's clearly annoyed about something so when encountering her, I'd simply nod, smile and keep going. If you simply can't get past it, the alternative is to confront it and simply say to her that if she ever feels like talking about why she appears to dislike you, just to let you know and you'd be willing to listen. Personally, I'd opt for the nod, the smile and going my own way.

[AuntG]

@CelticCrafter, that's a good one! I almost feel sorry for people like that. A week ago, our neighbor spent hours clearing snow during a blizzard, which would melt in due time. Yesterday, he was shoveling those same piles back on to his driveway so the snow would melt faster in the 60 degree temps.

[jeanlake]

Gayle, ask yourself why you are allowing this woman to rent space in your head. Then ask why you need this rude stranger's approval / attention. If it wasn't that neighbor, it could be someone else down the road who hurts you, until you ask yourself these questions. I want to be kind, but honest. Please don't take offense to my words. I hope someday you just don't care about this woman.