Among Friends

[Peaches McPhee]

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@VaBelle35 wrote:

I guess I don't understand why it's a problem if they cancel on you.  Then you just have a date with your husband and you two can go wherever you want.

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@VaBelle35, I guess the problem is not that they cancel, but that they anticipate a cancel, and go ahead and schedule dinner anyway.  Like I have to wait on her final decision. That's the part that bugs.

Thanks for the advice, everyone!  

[dex]

@Peaches McPhee I agree with you.It seems that whatever the project is has priority so why keep you guessing about their attendance.I would just cancel and go to dinner with my DH.

[CrazyDaisy]

This time of year people are doing many different home improvement projects.  Someone may be coming over to help them and they may be the ones who have plans that are contingent on the weather.  Such as if a base ball tournament is rained out I can be there to help you tear out the basement carpet or move furniture.

If it bothers you I would just say to reschedule when both of you can make it.

[software]

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@Peaches McPhee wrote:

Could use some perspective from the group.  Another woman and I are casual friends; we decided to get together with our husbands for dinner.  The husbands have never met, nor have we met each other's husbands. After some emailing back and forth, we decided on a date . . . but the other lady added a caveat.  They might have to cancel.  Not for another social engagement, but because they may have a household task that weekend.  I don't want to say exactly what it is, but it is something that could take a whole weekend and is weather sensitive.  They won't know if they need to cancel until very close to the dinner date.  Like the day before.

This annoys me.  Why choose a date with the assumption that it may be cancelled?  Thoughts?

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Then just tell her it's best to reschedule!

If it's a "casual" friend, and the dinner is "casual" it would be no big deal to cancel.

Now if it involved purchasing tickets to something or traveling a great distance, it would be insensitive.   But in this case, just let it go.  Life gets in the way all the time.

[Goodie2shoes]

Here's my perspective, I certainly would not let that annoy me as you said it did, not worth raising your bloodpressure, you can just enjoy a romantic date with your  husband.  I would just tell your casual friend to let you know when they have another firm open date and if it works out for you then go. The ball would be in her court.  Enjoy time with your hubby, tomorrow is not promised to us.

[chiclets]

Cancel the dinner date. Politely say lets not plan on a "maybe" and we will plan it for another time. It is something we can look forward to and discuss when it will be best for all. However, I would wait for her to make the first effort to do so.

[occasionalrain]

If they were having a barbecue, weather permitting, it would make sense that there may be a cancelation. However, in this case they have placed you on hold and in limbo. It's inconsiderate, leaving no doubt that dinner with you is unimportant. I would just cancel and be unavailable on any suggested date in the future. They are not worth your time.

[sweetee2]

You said casual friends. Sounds to me you two should do lunch. Her excuse to me is lame. Maybe your reading more into this friendship.

[stevieb]

It's a dinner date. If they cancel the day before, for me, it might be disappointing, but not a big deal. If this is a pattern then that's something altogether different, but based on a one time 'caveat' perhaps there legitimately is a potential conflict and she's just letting you know in advance.

[Scooby Doo]

Why don't you ask your husband how he wants to handle the situation?  It's his time too.