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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,275
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

[ Edited ]

cherry wrote:

If you think he will go back to his original country and take  the  kids, I would  tell the attorney about it.

 

I think that happens a lot, and  sometimes there is no way you can get the children back

 

 

Good luck


 

 

 

 

Good point! The kids can be taken out of the country. An attorney is a must.  He may say he don't want to leave here, but when things don't go his way........he will do it for spite. It is very hard, and expensive to get the kids back once they leave the US.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 564
Registered: ‎03-29-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

Not sure I want to know how he makes you give him money.  I would go to your joint account and withdraw half and then stop at an attorney's office.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 931
Registered: ‎01-26-2013

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant


missy1 wrote:

The op said she opened a new account. But then she said he only gives me 100/week?

 

Sounds like he got the American Dream given to him. He got his degree, a house and brought his mom here. (lives there for  free)

 

 


If this thread is legit, it sure should give one more to think about BEFORE they marry.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,241
Registered: ‎06-29-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant


Tyak wrote:

missy1 wrote:

The op said she opened a new account. But then she said he only gives me 100/week?

 

Sounds like he got the American Dream given to him. He got his degree, a house and brought his mom here. (lives there for  free)

 

 


If this thread is legit, it sure should give one more to think about BEFORE they marry.


I agree with Tyak. 

I have to wonder how a woman with an advanced degree doesn't know how to tackle this situation.

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,308
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

I'm So sorry.  Personally I would "lighten my family situation".

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,517
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

@magpie4: How to know if someone is a "good lawyer"? First, do not rush the process. The choice of attorney will impact the rest of your life. It did for me- in a good way. I went to my county library and asked the reference desk librarian for any and all background info on family law attorneys in my county. After several hours of research I made a list of 3-4 names and interviewed them.  All lawyers are not created equal!  You are paying this person. Remember that YOU are the boss and in charge of your life and your decisions. I chose the person with whom I had the best rapport as they were all very capable. My ex went through several attorneys through the years- all more $$$$ than mine and considerably less effective. Be smart, be patient and be organized. Your lawyer can only be as effective in the process as you are. Also, take a step back and breathe. Take care of your children's mother. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,448
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.  You've gotten some excellent advice here.  I hope you're able to find a good attorney soon and get on with your life.

My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet.
Edith Wharton
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,107
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

[ Edited ]

Love Roses wrote:

Tyak wrote:

missy1 wrote:

The op said she opened a new account. But then she said he only gives me 100/week?

 

Sounds like he got the American Dream given to him. He got his degree, a house and brought his mom here. (lives there for  free)

 

 


If this thread is legit, it sure should give one more to think about BEFORE they marry.


I agree with Tyak. 

I have to wonder how a woman with an advanced degree doesn't know how to tackle this situation.


No offense intended to OP or you @Love Roses, but I know a lot of people with degrees who aren't that smart.  Some of them with more than one degree.  Also, there is a difference between book smarts and common sense.  Just saying...

 

OP, you have a challenge ahead of you.  Some very good advice here.  Best wishes to you.  LM

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,437
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

Two years ago, a young family friend was in a situation similar to yours.  She married into a family with foreign roots, although her husband was born and raised here.   

 

Long story short, the marriage lasted 5 years; they've been separated 14 months and the divorce will be final in early April.   My friend says cultural differences is what killed her marriage.   She said her husband always sided with his mother; MIL wedged herself right in the middle of their marriage, and she just couldn't deal with it anymore.   Reconciliation was just not possible for them, but they are co-parenting their children without problems so far.   

 

My advice is to do whatever it takes to get yourself back on track as a focused mom, and employee at work.   I totally agree with privately seeking legal counsel, and getting your ducks in a row before playing the divorce card.   Best wishes to you.    

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,042
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

Hard to belive all of this, your in a unhappy marriage, unstable financial history, problems at work, insufficient child care. So you decide to go in further debt and buy a home?

 

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