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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,026
Registered: ‎09-02-2011

@rac71

 

    His life style apparently is or always been___'it's all about me'

I'm wondering if he ever thought, in his mindset, as your mom being in his circle as a servitude to him, at any time?   Oh, yes, I do agree- ""he's not to any degree defined as frail or helpless.   I do hope that you understand that I really am concerned about your well being and safety, while in this house.  I will check in after post to post hearing anything unusual as you give out a document trail of changing behaviors. { It may be one more day.}   Your 'best'  is  GOOD- You are going for a very well planned status for what is needed...in my opinion.  I know that!   Do you have doors with safety locks for your own private room?   I believe in rage.  I believe in people who have the satisfaction of control of others, including.... especially family.   I would have no interest in what other members outside the house has to say about yourself.   You are strong enough to omit their judging completely. He is on his own.   No one is holding him down. What he is doing is a genuine guilt trip on you.   What has been done in the past (your illnesses so forth w/ $$s) has been paid in full by just being there, especially with support when mom was in the hospital.    

{ Ever hear of Stockholm syndrome?]   He apparently shows all intent to be the epitome of this.   Once gone, as you have planned, someone will be there through means from someone else. And, I do not consider, now, a paid care giver, though.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 679
Registered: ‎01-07-2014

Quick response today. No, my bedroom is the only one without a keyed lock. I have a turn-button lock, the kind one can pick with a coat hanger.

 

Yes, I did know what he was like. My mom didn't shield me, how could she when sometimes she condoned it? Often I'd get a call when some service repair wasn't going well warning me not to come home for a while. He resents her ruining his house and neglecting housework for other things. Resents everyone for everything. Swears he's been punished and put through hell by having to sort through paperwork because my mom died, which is her fault. Also been threatening/wishing for suicide a lot since she died, but it's another of his poor me manipulations. I know full well he's too mean to die. Once dead, he can't exert control over anyone.

 

Today is my 44th birthday. Miss my mom.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,427
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

rac71, I wish you a happy birthday no matter your circumstances, and send you (((hugs)) knowing you miss your dear mother. Praying for better days ahead and for peace and security now.

snappy Heart

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,026
Registered: ‎09-02-2011

Happy ~ ' H A P P Y ~ Birthday to our very sweet

        Heart "dear rac71" Heart

 

May God bless you and be with you 

   

               `Forever`

 

lovingly, Heart

         

          Naes

Valued Contributor
Posts: 988
Registered: ‎01-20-2013

This type of stress can cause serious physical  problems......................do not have contact with your father....................you need to concentrate on yourself.  Toxic people cause toxic results. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 679
Registered: ‎01-07-2014

Thank you all for the birthday wishes.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,495
Registered: ‎05-03-2014

Happy birthday. Smiley Happy

~Nick Chavez is my favorite vendor on QVC and Alberti Popaj is my favorite QVC host.~
Nick Chavez now has his own sub-forum under the My Favorite Brand folder
Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,065
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@NAES1

 

It is so sad what was done to you. It is sad what we do to our children. I feel so badly for you. Remember, your perception of reality is correct.

(((hugs)))

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,026
Registered: ‎09-02-2011

@loveschocolate,   Heart~~~~~~~~

     !^^^^!

I am so glad that you were able to ""meet"" rac71, 

 

  rac71 had sent this out for all of us to read while going, herself, through this difficult time. 

1st post /August, I'm almost sure....... here.

 

   ''I do hope that rac71  ``( HELLO RAC)`` does come back to visit us _SOON_ giving us a Hello and tell me, along with all of her acquaintances on the board, a better plan for her future, if only briefly''.

 

 

She is a very busy special education teacher and I know how inundated she must be with grading papers and all student...not to mention The Parents. I admire teachers more than anyone can imagine.   Definitely, I do admire rac71 since I've known her, finding her on a post when her precious MOM died Jaunary 27th, 2015.

 

Heart

            NAES....to rac71

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,026
Registered: ‎09-02-2011

@Miranda1550 wrote:

This type of stress can cause serious physical  problems......................do not have contact with your father....................you need to concentrate on yourself.  Toxic people cause toxic results. 


      _____

 

    ...."hello Miranda, please read on down further"....

 I do hope rac71 updates us all soon. She is very busy teaching...love fashion, especially Linea.

Just a jot of information"....